Too funny that I just noticed this new forum -- perfect match for this post I think!

Okay, so the husband isn't much into bikes -- tho I do convince him to go for a ride with me every now and then, I'm the bike nut in the house. :)

I changed jobs about 6 months ago and now I get to work from home -- woo hoo! But, this has caused me to start YEARNING for a fun bike that I could use to run errands with -- ones I'd normally do on my way to/home from work like taking movies back, getting groceries, and going to yoga.

I have 2 bikes now (carbon fiber road and front suspension mtn bike) but they are my "good" bikes -- I'd want a bike that I could lock up outside of yoga for the hour and a half I'm there and not worry too much about it. Also want to have racks, fenders, etc and be able to ride on this hard dirt trail near the house too. Am thinking about a singlespeed cross style bike for low maintenance and the fun factor, plus could maybe try fixed at some point. Have looked into used bikes but so far haven't seen any in my size...anyhow back to my question...

What do I tell him about why I NEED this bike? When I mentioned it casually the other day he said "oh no, not another bike"! Can't you just ride one of your other bikes?" Then he said -- if you're worried about your bike getting stolen then why don't you just get a WalMart bike" -- GASP! I told him was thinking it would only cost around $600 and WalMart bikes were piece o' junk death traps, and I want this bike to be fun to ride and not some clunky thing, but he doesn't get it. "Can't you just take your bike in the store and keep it with you" was his next question. Er...

I should add that he knows how much I love my bikes -- I ride 'em all the time -- the road bike about 5 days a week. Should also add that I rode my bike or walked everywhere for 3 years, so he knows that I'd love doing it. (Wrecked the bike I used then, so I don't have it anymore). He's proud of me too. He just doesn't think I need another bike...sigh!

So, what to tell 'em to convince him that I need another bike? :)

Unless he's cheap, you'll need a figure on spending 2X what the bike you want costs. Half will pay for your bike and the other half will pay for his new toy, whatever it may be. (my wife is in a bad spot right now because I don't want anything)

Or, you can just cut him off until he caves.

Unless he's cheap, you'll need a figure on spending 2X what the bike you want costs. Half will pay for your bike and the other half will pay for his new toy, whatever it may be. (my wife is in a bad spot right now because I don't want anything)

Or, you can just cut him off until he caves.

That man always gets more toys than me. I'm still trying to make up for those speakers he got last year.

Second suggestion might work tho...! :)

Or, you can just cut him off until he caves.
LOL! Now this is a fine example of why we need men to check in on the ladies forum every once in a while.

Would any of us chicas have thought to suggest this? :D

This is hilarious because I am having the same issue with my wife. I love bikes, but she doesn't. Yeah, her parents bought her a Wal-Mart bike and she thinks it is just fine. Her father just bought a Schwin for about $150 and he thinks it is great. Yes, it is great for him, but I would die if I had to ride that thing.

Anyway, I have a 20 year old road bike called a Mino Denti. It is a steel frame with crimped Columbus SL tubing, all Campy Super Record Components, tubulars, and down tube non-indexed shifters. I used to use this bike as my racing and training bike when I first got it. It probably has 30,000+ miles on it. I also have a Gary Fisher mountain bike with front suspension that is about 5 years old, but I don't enjoy mountain biking as much as road riding.

Anyway, I have decided to get back into racing and trained somewhat hard this past August and September. I also decided that I wanted a new bike, so I am in the process of building a carbon fiber Colnago Cristallo with 2007 Campy Record. Problem is that the frame is not repairable if I wreck it racing, so I want an aluminum frame Colnago (i.e., Dream, Strada, or Active Plus 2). I saw a frame I liked on e-bay and told my wife I was going to bid on it. Well, we had a heck of a discussion about it.

At the end of the day, she understands that I love riding and racing, and even though I have been out of racing for 15 years now, she knows it is still important to me and that I am still decently fast, I was actually surprised with my own speed in September.

To answer your question, just explain to your husband why you want the bike. Neither of KenB's answers are good long term relationship answers. Yeah, buy something whenever he wants something. That makes no sense. What if you don't need anything at that moment? You will just be spending money to spend money. One of my clients and her husband work this way. She had a Lexus RX330, so a year later he went out and bought a Chevy Avalanche. Well, a year after that she decided to buy a new Lexus RX330 because hers two year old one was dirty, it didn't have navigation, and she didn't like the color. So, her husband went out a couple months later, sold the Avalanche and bought a Porsche Cayene. What a waste of money right there, and they are strapped for cash. If something is really important to you, and it isn't a lot of money, first make sure that you have the money, and then try letting your husband know how important it is to you.

The cutting him off until he caves bit it hit or miss. That wouldn't work with me, but maybe your husband is different.

You can always try to explain that in the long run it will be worth it to have a beater bike because your more expensive ones will last longer. That is how I tried to explain the frame issue to my wife. I could either run the risk of wrecking a $1,000 frame with a cheaper groupo on the bike (i.e., 2007 Chorus), or I could ride the $3,000 frame with the expensive groupo and have to replace the frame and/or parts when I wreck. Granted, I wouldn't mind using the expensive bike for road racing or TT's, but the crits are really what worry me. Oh yeah, I could also buy an expensive Colnago carbon fiber frame (e.g., C-50, Extreme Power, or Extreme C) because those can be repaired if they are wrecked. I think I am going to go with the cheap replacement and see if I can notice a difference between the bikes.

You can also try explaining the savings in gas and wear and tear on the cars if you get to ride a cheap bike places instead of driving.

I have a couple of passions in life. Cycling, hunting, shooting, and fishing. I own a couple of bikes, several guns, a ton of hunting gear, a lot of fishing rods, and a ton of tackle. My wife has a hard time understanding why I need another bike, gun, fishing rod, fishing reel, hunting supplies, fishing tackle, hunting blinds, etc. I think the reason she has a hard time understanding it is because she doesn't know anything about it.

When I told her dad that the bike I was going to build retails for around $8,000, he thought I was joking. I took him along with me to go and buy a new set of pedals for my road bike, and he couldn't believe that they cost $100. Meanwhile, I cannot believe that a bottle of champagne, cognac, or wine can cost $100+ because I don't drink.

Everything is relative. Try to relate the new bike purchase to one of your husband's hobbies. High dollar bikes and high dollar china are to be used for special occassions. Cheaper bikes and cheaper china are to be used every day.

I hope this helps. If he needs some help understanding it, have him e-mail me.

Neither of KenB's answers are good long term relationship answers.

Does 18 years count as long term?

That man always gets more toys than me. I'm still trying to make up for those speakers he got last year.

Second suggestion might work tho...! :)


Sounds like you have a solid negotiating position to work from. Forget need.... no justification other than "Because I want it" should be required. After that, it's all about the final dollar figure. You may want to try and get it into the budget.

We'll draft our FY07 CapEx budget this month and will finalize it in early Feb. (we don't CapEx spend in Jan. at all). This is the time where we each submit any new toys for budgetary consideration. The last three years have pretty much been mine, but we did convert a spare room for her to use for her arts and crafts (came out really nice, too!) and she's had her share of bling and other toys. A balance is important. She's been hinting at a new laptop and I don't really need/want anything right now. Next year may be the year I get my Look 585 though.....

LOL! Now this is a fine example of why we need men to check in on the ladies forum every once in a while.

Would any of us chicas have thought to suggest this? :D

Uh oh... I think I may have said too much.

:D

Good morning from Sweden! Great that you're joining in the new forum. As for me, we're moving in a month and my wife wants to get a fireplace in the new house. And even though it will cost several thousand dollars, I realise that it's her turn because I bought my Moots last summer. We try and divide things evenly and because I know what my Moots cost me last summer, I couldn't in good conscience object to her suggestion. Fair is fair.
One reason is that you need an inexpensive bicycle to get around town. Tell him exactly what you told us.
Cheers, Wayne

Assuming your husband understands math, simply ask him if he'd rather replace a $600 bike or a $2,000 bike. Chances are good that even if you lock it up, it will get stolen at some point. And no, you can't take your bike with you into stores (I've tried). So does he want to be out an additional $2,000 or $600? His choice.

I think he'll make the right decision.

I am in the process of building a carbon fiber Colnago Cristallo with 2007 Campy Record. Problem is that the frame is not repairable if I wreck it racing, so I want an aluminum frame Colnago (i.e., Dream, Strada, or Active Plus 2).

FWIW, if you manage to wreck a carbon frame racing, you won't be driving yourself home. You'll probably be in the hospital for a few weeks. It would have to be a real bad wreck to destroy a carbon frame. They really aren't that fragile. I race 2 full carbon bikes in 'cross and I can't tell you how many really horrible spills I've had on my race bike alone... and it's perfectly fine. Cross bikes take way more of a beating than road bikes. I've crashed it on gravel, on pavement, on downhills, over barriers, into trees, etc. multiple times. This is it's second season and it's still kicking just fine.

That man always gets more toys than me. I'm still trying to make up for those speakers he got last year.

Second suggestion might work tho...! :)

Hey why didn't I think of those speakers before?!! That might be it...!

Oh and we've been married 9 years now -- happily too! I just never really want anything, 'cept bike stuff -- usually there's no problem, but he's not liking this idea.

Other thing is, his parents always want to get me something for Christmas and I never know what to tell them -- I can ask them to contribute to the bike! Yes!

Assuming your husband understands math, simply ask him if he'd rather replace a $600 bike or a $2,000 bike. Chances are good that even if you lock it up, it will get stolen at some point. And no, you can't take your bike with you into stores (I've tried). So does he want to be out an additional $2,000 or $600? His choice.

I think he'll make the right decision.

clearly vonteity has the best answer. "But honey, you don't want my expensive nice bike stolen too? Think how much that will cost us"

with Fabrosman...my wife hates my obsession with cycling. I have a lot of hunting, flyfishing, and cycling gear...and when I mentioned that I wanted to buy a classic lugged Italian frame for a winter project this year...well, let's just say it was a spirited conversation. She just doesn't understand why I need more than the three that I have. I have tried to explain that it is not a "need" thing, but a "want" thing...She looks at bikes as nothing more than a tool to get you somewhere....and can't for the life of her, understand why a bike should cost more than 100 dollars. But she tolerates me for the most part, and we love each other. Just sit down and talk with him......and if you

REALLY want to be cruel...tell him it's either a real nice diamond jewelry set, or the bike...leave it up to him....I think I know which one he'd choose...:thumbsup:

Thanks fabsroman -- yeah, we usually agree not to do the "I'm buying something because you're buying something" thing -- we both don't like to spend money just for spending money.

But in this case, he already bought the speakers over a year ago...so I might have to make an exception, ha!

with Fabrosman...my wife hates my obsession with cycling. I have a lot of hunting, flyfishing, and cycling gear...and when I mentioned that I wanted to buy a classic lugged Italian frame for a winter project this year...well, let's just say it was a spirited conversation. She just doesn't understand why I need more than the three that I have. I have tried to explain that it is not a "need" thing, but a "want" thing...She looks at bikes as nothing more than a tool to get you somewhere....and can't for the life of her, understand why a bike should cost more than 100 dollars. But she tolerates me for the most part, and we love each other. Just sit down and talk with him......and if you

REALLY want to be cruel...tell him it's either a real nice diamond jewelry set, or the bike...leave it up to him....I think I know which one he'd choose...:thumbsup:

Diamond jewelry? He'd think I went off the deep end -- although maybe it would work, ha ha ha!!!

Assuming your husband understands math, simply ask him if he'd rather replace a $600 bike or a $2,000 bike. Chances are good that even if you lock it up, it will get stolen at some point. And no, you can't take your bike with you into stores (I've tried). So does he want to be out an additional $2,000 or $600? His choice.

I think he'll make the right decision.

I'll have to tell him you can't take bikes in stores with you. Didn't know that, never tried.

The places I'll be leaving the bike locked up are pretty safe areas, but no way I'm locking up one of my babies there.

I plan on putting these stickers all over the frame of whatever bike I finally get -- got a bunch I've been saving and not knowing what to do with 'em. Just got a Greenpeace one in the mail yesterday, that would be perfect! And a "Keep Austin Weird" sticker too. And all the ones that come with bike stuff, and the ones from the Wildflower Center.

Yep, 18 years is pretty long term in today's world. Also, based upon your additional post it doesn't seem as though you follow your own advice in your relationship. From that post, it seems as though you guys work the purchases out much better than you had hinted at. If only all my clients were like that.

Me, I have my own practice and the income is not always steady, so we tend to budget things off of my wife's salary and then what I make is extra. We can run the entire household and still have money leftover from her salary. What I make is gravy for savings and those "wants" purchases, not "needs" purchases. I settled a couple of personal injury cases this past summer and paid off both of our cars. That gave us an additional $1,100 a month in positive cash flow.

Unlike you, my wife and I have only been married a little over a year, but things are going well for us, and not just monetarily.

When I used to race, I had a 3 big crashes and a lot of small ones. I remember the downtube shifter being bent into the frame. The frame still has marks in the paint from it. I remember the frame having to be realigned. I remember the rear derailleur hanger having to be bent back into shape. I remember the wheels having to be pounded with a hammer to get them anywhere close to trueable. Call me crazy if I am worried about breaking a carbon frame. It isn't hitting the pavement that I am too worried about, but hitting something of getting hit by other riders while I am down.

When I used to race, I had a 3 big crashes and a lot of small ones. I remember the downtube shifter being bent into the frame. The frame still has marks in the paint from it. I remember the frame having to be realigned. I remember the rear derailleur hanger having to be bent back into shape. I remember the wheels having to be pounded with a hammer to get them anywhere close to trueable. Call me crazy if I am worried about breaking a carbon frame. It isn't hitting the pavement that I am too worried about, but hitting something of getting hit by other riders while I am down.

I understand your worry, but it really isn't necessary. Carbon frames are not that fragile. Although rear derailleur hangers aren't carbon, so you don't need to worry about that. They are replaceable anyway, and not that expensive.

You should be more worried about hitting the pavement than soft bodies falling on top of you. ;)

I'll have to tell him you can't take bikes in stores with you. Didn't know that, never tried.

The places I'll be leaving the bike locked up are pretty safe areas, but no way I'm locking up one of my babies there.

I plan on putting these stickers all over the frame of whatever bike I finally get -- got a bunch I've been saving and not knowing what to do with 'em. Just got a Greenpeace one in the mail yesterday, that would be perfect! And a "Keep Austin Weird" sticker too. And all the ones that come with bike stuff, and the ones from the Wildflower Center.

I've tried to take my bike with me into stores when riding alone and having to dash into the grocery store to get some gatorade. Usually they will allow you to leave it just inside the doors if you protest, but they really don't like it at all. Especially if it's raining out!

Think of it this way... is a thief going to be more tempted by a $600 beater or one of your babies?

The pavement doesn't hurt as much as a front wheel in the rib cage at 20+ mph, and I have had bodies land on top of me and that isn't any fun either. I have had a chainring, maybe my own bike's, cut my ankle. I have had a spoke puncture my thigh right above my knee. I just worry about crashing period.

I'm stilling using the excuse for the aluminum frame, and will see how it rides before deciding to use it to race.

Yep, 18 years is pretty long term in today's world. Also, based upon your additional post it doesn't seem as though you follow your own advice in your relationship. From that post, it seems as though you guys work the purchases out much better than you had hinted at. If only all my clients were like that.

Me, I have my own practice and the income is not always steady, so we tend to budget things off of my wife's salary and then what I make is extra. We can run the entire household and still have money leftover from her salary. What I make is gravy for savings and those "wants" purchases, not "needs" purchases. I settled a couple of personal injury cases this past summer and paid off both of our cars. That gave us an additional $1,100 a month in positive cash flow.

Unlike you, my wife and I have only been married a little over a year, but things are going well for us, and not just monetarily.


I didn't mean to suggest a "spite" purchase. Essentially, what I was getting at was to make sure the "play money" was distributed evenly so as not to foster any feelings of being jilted. Since my wife's job doesn't produce additional income for us, I try to be extra sensitive to things that she wants. It's also one of the main reasons I don't get involved in our finances outside of the making of the money and the CapEx budget.

Uh oh... I think I may have said too much.

:D

traitor....:rolleyes:

Thanks fabsroman -- yeah, we usually agree not to do the "I'm buying something because you're buying something" thing -- we both don't like to spend money just for spending money.

But in this case, he already bought the speakers over a year ago...so I might have to make an exception, ha!

Bottom line to me is whether you can afford a new bike. Who cares if he bought speakers a year ago if you're still have lots of credit card debt and can't pay the bills?

traitor....:rolleyes:

Yeah, I know, but when it comes down to being in with the wimmens or in with the mens.... I'll opt for the wimmens every single time.

I don't know if I would call it a spite purchase, but I guess that is what it might fit into. A lot of people in relationships feel as though they have to buy something whenever their partner buys something. I was in one of those relationships. If I bought a $3,000 gun, she felt like she had to buy something of equal or greater value, or that she was allowed to spend that kind of money on the slots. Never mind that she had just bought the new car and had her condo remodeled by me. That relationship didn't last very long.

I think what you have in place is great. It just didn't sound like that based upon your first post.

What is a CapEx budget? Is that extra capital?

My wife and I don't really sit down and do a budget. She just asks me if we can afford something and I tell her yes or no, or that it will take us a couple of months to afford it. For instance, I just spent about $5,000 on my new bike and she wants to spend $2,300 on baby furniture because the baby is due mid April and the furniture has a 10 to 14 week lead time. She asked if we had the money, and I told her yes. I know what we have, what we have left over every month after paying the bills and putting money into savings, etc. She rarely ever looks at our financials.

Like I said, I think you and your wife have a great system. If more people were like you, a lot less relationships would have money issues. In today's world, there is way too many products and way too many things to do, that people can never really do everything they want. We just need to be happy with what we have and what we are currently doing.

I will readily agree that nobody should be spending money on a bike if they have credit card debt they are carrying month to month, unless that bike is their primary means of transportation to and from work or they actually use it to work (e.g., bike messengers).

For the husband, it's not a money issue -- we both have good jobs and save -- no debt. We don't have kids either.

He's kind of a minimalist. Combine that with not being a bike nut -- and it's just not in his nature.

I think I'm working on him though -- told him I'd take the movies back for a year. Not that we rent all that many, but still he doesn't like doing it. :)

I'll let ya know what happens!

When I was in your shoes, a garage sale solved my problem. I ended up with a Novarra Buzz hybrid/townie that is perfect for exactly what you describe. I got it for less than the price of dining out.

Good luck! :thumbsup:

Good morning from Sweden! Great that you're joining in the new forum. As for me, we're moving in a month and my wife wants to get a fireplace in the new house. And even though it will cost several thousand dollars, I realise that it's her turn because I bought my Moots last summer. We try and divide things evenly and because I know what my Moots cost me last summer, I couldn't in good conscience object to her suggestion. Fair is fair.
One reason is that you need an inexpensive bicycle to get around town. Tell him exactly what you told us.
Cheers, Wayne
Good morning, Wayne. Several thousand $$ for a fireplace is a pretty good price, I think. We had to replace ours (including chimney repairs) in 1992 after the big earthquake here in LA and it cost about $5000 back then. I shudder to think what it would cost now.

Hey I'll bet in Sweden a fireplace is a "need" much more so than a "want".

ps. As we all know, here on RBR all bikes are "needs". :p

What is a CapEx budget? Is that extra capital?

LOL, sorry... Capital Expenditure. Essentially, if it's an asset, it's a CapEx purchase. I manage 95% of the CapEx budget for the company I work for... the terminology passes through to the home. (bills come out of the OpEx budget). Since we very rarely have captial expenditures that aren't toys... we will need a new fence next year.... it typically signifies play money for us.

It took us a while to perfect our system. What works best for us is to run it as much like corporation as possible. We do periodic budget reviews, we forecast and we have various accounts to handle certain types of cash flow. It sounds crazy but we haven't had the slightest argument over money in years and we're solidly middle class w/one kid. The biggest cause of money strife for us was just not being able to project what we'd have available on any given day so we worked out a system that eliminated that problem.

I have a mtb and had been craving a road bike for a while now, just as your husband, fir my wife it just was not a money issue it just did not make sense to her to have another bike. So i just told her, (since she is not a bike nut) that "i think that it is really hard for you to understand why i would want another bike, but it is important to me and it is something that i love doing" what i heard coming out of her mouth was "fine, if you really want it, you can buy a road bike" this was after many attemps of trying to help her understand the reason why. good luck, but i think that "rule" made a great point, find something at a garage sale.

I just had this discussion last night. It wasn't pretty.

I currently have two bikes, a nice Gunnar Roadie has been my main ride, and my mtn bike (Kona Explosif). Oh and an old school steel Trek in pieces in the garage destined for a future life as a sinlgle speed. Lately I have been lusting after a newer lighter bike and have my eye set on a Moots. Last night I start a conversation about a new bike, it would be lighter, newer components (Gunnar is 5 years old) etc.

Guys, the following is an example of what NOT to do. He seized on the weight issue and asked me what my current bike weighed, what I thought the Moots would weigh, then said (and I quote) "Couldn't you just loose the weight?"

He's lucky I didn't rip his f***n head off.

FWIW my weight is just where it should be and I'm a tiny person to start with. He totally didn't get that even couple pounds could make a difference and was worth spending some money on. He doesn't ride, hell he doesn't even exercise. He has put on almost 40 pounds since we met 21 years ago, and he wasn't exactly svelte to begin with. So then he gets all pissed that I'm angry and starts going off on how I have anger issues, that I think he's disgusting (not true) , that I want him to be perfect (also not true), and we both proceeded to loose it to an embarrasing degree. Luckily the kids weren't home.

What I should have done is just saved my breath, saved my money and ordered the damn thing without his "approval". After all it's the money from my own job that will pay for it. I wasn't asking for his "permission" but was wanting to share information about something that I was excited about.

This past month we have bought a garden tractor and four different attachments that he has been wanting for a long time. I was totally on board with it; we do have a large property plus a dirt driveway to maintain and neither of us are getting younger. So I don't see what his agenda was making me try to justify a new bike. He immediatly put me on the defensive. And yeh, I am still pretty pissed about it all.

Save the relationship analysis. Yeh it's clear there are bigger issues here than the bike, but that was what set it all off. So be careful how and in what manner you casually bring it up. It can really blow up in your face.

Yep, definitely a relationship issue. If he likes garden work, then you can hold the tractor against him. If he looks at it like work, then probably not. My wife and I want a large property, but I hate mowing the grass, so I will be spending thousands of dollars on mowing equipment when we buy a new place.

I will agree that he never should have made the weight comment to you. My wife seems to be handling my wanting a Colnago Dream pretty well considering I just bought a Colnago Cristallo.

I can weigh in on this I think with 12 years of marrige and riding under the belt. I had this a couple years ago when I wanted to start commuting to work but didn't want to ride my $4000 Look through the streets of downtown Albuquerque. I simply explained how much it meant to me, and she understood. I was able to piece a bike together from ebay for around $700. Marrige is about compromise and she was willing to budge a little to make me happy. Like you said, money isn't a factor, so just ask him to let you do it for yourself. How often do you really ask for big things. Not very often I would imagine.

On a side note, if you want a fun bike, have a look at the Elektra bikes. I love the Rockabilly. I could see that with some saddle bags for groceries. It would look insanely cool in front of a yoga joint too. I test rode one and it is a very comfortable postion, yet it is still pretty efficient as a bike too. Quality build as well.

personally, we have a very, very strict don't ask don't tell policy. I don't ask her what arrives in all those brown boxes that get left at our door, and she doesn't ask me what came in that big box out by the curb. Actually, last big box she did ask, and I told her, and that was that.
so long as we all keep it to a dull roar, it's okay.

I save all of my found money, and stash it away until the purchase actually makes no dent in our finances. I mean it does, but it's relatively painless.

maybe your hubby is different from men like, for example, me, but I don't ever begrudge anyone's buying a toy (a TOOOLL a bike is a TOOOOOLLL) that gets used. The treadmill that I finally had to wrestle to Goodwill -- I didn't like that so much.

may not be as hard as you think.