I'm grabbing my bike and heading to France in July. With the news that a new Operacion Puerto dossier (love that word) has surfaced implicating 49 new riders I suspect that there will be no pro level riders left to start the race. This may be my big chance to ascend from racing for town signs to winning the KOM jersey. I want to be the first guy on my block to win a stage in the Alps.

Anyone else in?

I have only two weeks of vacations in July... and my bike belonged to a current pro that may have touched some illegal blood or stuff, they could find something on my bike. Too risky for me.

I have only two weeks of vacations in July... and my bike belonged to a current pro that may have touched some illegal blood or stuff, they could find something on my bike. Too risky for me.

Bring it on! I have said that I am ready -- plus I live here. Also, had I not dropped my chain this w-end on the climb to les Mesnuls, I would have been mixing it up for the final of Sunday's race here -- fo sure!

Picture of me <i>in front</i> of big Mig -- just to establish my street cred.

I'm grabbing my bike and heading to France in July. With the news that a new Operacion Puerto dossier (love that word) has surfaced implicating 49 new riders I suspect that there will be no pro level riders left to start the race. This may be my big chance to ascend from racing for town signs to winning the KOM jersey. I want to be the first guy on my block to win a stage in the Alps.

Anyone else in?
Are you sure you could pass a drug test? Go check your medicine cabinet, I'll wait.

Last week I mixed Pepsi, Sprite, and Mountain Dew together when I stopped at the local 7 eleven and then chased it with a Tic Tac. I hear this will elevate testosterone levels. I should be good though because I have some old blood stored in my chest freezer that I can use.

Last week I mixed Pepsi, Sprite, and Mountain Dew together when I stopped at the local 7 eleven and then chased it with a Tic Tac. I hear this will elevate testosterone levels. I should be good though because I have some old blood stored in my chest freezer that I can use.
Funny man. Now how about over the counter medicine? Any cold, allergy, or sleeping products? How about vitamins or supplements? If so, you're looking at 2 years.

Funny man. Now how about over the counter medicine? Any cold, allergy, or sleeping products? How about vitamins or supplements? If so, you're looking at 2 years.
that would be:
no
no
no
no
and to the last one
no.
Can I go now mom?
Besides, vitamin pills are not doping, unless there are traces of shite in it.

Besides, vitamin pills are not doping, unless there are traces of shite in it.
Exactly, in which case it is.

And that's the point. Unless we're taking extraordinary care in what we put in their body (and most of us aren't), the chances are more likely than not that we would fail a drug test.

I used to be a climber, and I've ridden those mountains. They were hard when I was in fantastic shape, but now, considering my mileage for the year is maybe 300 miles, I don't think I could get over one pass inside the time limit.

I used to be a climber, and I've ridden those mountains. They were hard when I was in fantastic shape, but now, considering my mileage for the year is maybe 300 miles, I don't think I could get over one pass inside the time limit.
But with all those guys out, the time cut will change dramatically! :p

But with all those guys out, the time cut will change dramatically! :p

It ain't gonna change THAT much! Trust me.

I'm grabbing my bike and heading to France in July. With the news that a new Operacion Puerto dossier (love that word) has surfaced implicating 49 new riders I suspect that there will be no pro level riders left to start the race. This may be my big chance to ascend from racing for town signs to winning the KOM jersey. I want to be the first guy on my block to win a stage in the Alps.

Anyone else in?

Heck, with no one left I can push my bike up the mountains and come in second......:)

Bring it on! I have said that I am ready -- plus I live here. Also, had I not dropped my chain this w-end on the climb to les Mesnuls, I would have been mixing it up for the final of Sunday's race here -- fo sure!

Picture of me <i>in front</i> of big Mig -- just to establish my street cred.

Hah, you probably were doping!

Are Bourbon and pork ribs considered doping? If not sign me up

Bring it on! I have said that I am ready -- plus I live here. Also, had I not dropped my chain this w-end on the climb to les Mesnuls, I would have been mixing it up for the final of Sunday's race here -- fo sure!

Picture of me <i>in front</i> of big Mig -- just to establish my street cred.

I guess that means that I'll be driving the team car.

At least you will have had some experience with random drug testing after a ride.

At least you will have had some experience with random drug testing after a ride.Maybe the whole peloton thinks 'drug testing' means to actually test the drugs themselves... :p

I'm grabbing my bike and heading to France in July. With the news that a new Operacion Puerto dossier (love that word) has surfaced implicating 49 new riders I suspect that there will be no pro level riders left to start the race. This may be my big chance to ascend from racing for town signs to winning the KOM jersey. I want to be the first guy on my block to win a stage in the Alps.

Anyone else in?

You'd still be out, seeing as there are what, 21 teams that start the Tour every year, with 9 riders for each team, making normally 189 starters for le Tour de France. Factor in the mere fact that most pro teams will carry 20+ riders, there is still a deep pool of talent out there before they would get to you, or me, or any of us schmucks that's for sure.

Maybe the whole peloton thinks 'drug testing' means to actually test the drugs themselves... :p
That is a pretty damn good quote...

Bring it on! I have said that I am ready -- plus I live here. Also, had I not dropped my chain this w-end on the climb to les Mesnuls, I would have been mixing it up for the final of Sunday's race here -- fo sure!

Picture of me <i>in front</i> of big Mig -- just to establish my street cred.

Street Cred? I see you photoshopped out the triple off your bike.

You'd still be out, seeing as there are what, 21 teams that start the Tour every year, with 9 riders for each team, making normally 189 starters for le Tour de France. Factor in the mere fact that most pro teams will carry 20+ riders, there is still a deep pool of talent out there before they would get to you, or me, or any of us schmucks that's for sure.

Bah!!! Those bastids are all associated with known dopers, so they are guilty by association...I say kick them all out, and give us old guys a chance...We may not be near as fast as the pro peloton, but the spectacle would I'm sure be much greater!!! Imagine us taking up to 27 hours to finish a stage, guys falling over on the Tourmalet, the peloton stopping for some burgers and coffee and just to rest up a little...The Tour could go on for months, covering the same distance and giving the sponsors much more tv exposure...Think how much more advertising space there is available on jerseys worn by a bunch of fat out of shape guys!!! Count me in!!! As long as I don't drink any Jack Daniels the night before a big stage, I should be able to pass any and all doping tests:D :D :D

Street Cred? I see you photoshopped out the triple off your bike.
... and the engine!!!

Phil: “Paul I don’t know if I can take any more of these fifteen hour stages”

Paul: “Come on Phil we got nothing but time to come up with insightful commentary, I mean look at that guy jiggle, you never saw that on armstrong, maybe ullrich.”

Phil: “You’re killing me Paul, someone fetch me a drink, there’s a 100k left in the stage and the sun is setting”

Paul: “Look at the intestinal fortitude it’s taking these guys to get over these mountains”

Phil: ” Intestinal fortitude?? Taco Bell is handing out crunch wrap supremes in the feed zones.”

Paul: “It is good to go Phil”

... and the engine!!!
Did you climb Chipollini style? i.e. two guys pushing you and still getting dropped :)

Phil: “Paul I don’t know if I can take any more of these fifteen hour stages”

Paul: “Come on Phil we got nothing but time to come up with insightful commentary, I mean look at that guy jiggle, you never saw that on armstrong, maybe ullrich.”

Phil: “You’re killing me Paul, someone fetch me a drink, there’s a 100k left in the stage and the sun is setting”

Paul: “Look at the intestinal fortitude it’s taking these guys to get over these mountains”

Phil: ” Intestinal fortitude?? Taco Bell is handing out crunch wrap supremes in the feed zones.”

Paul: “It is good to go Phil”

If you want to see a bunch of middle aged guys get up the Tourmalet really fast give them Taco Bell Chilli Cheese Buritos at the bottom and put a jiffy john at the top. After Taco Bell all I'm thinking about is making a run for the border.

If you want to see a bunch of middle aged guys get up the Tourmalet really fast give them Taco Bell Chilli Cheese Buritos at the bottom and put a jiffy john at the top. After Taco Bell all I'm thinking about is making a run for the border.


Stage 16 of this year's Tour is the perfect one for you. It crosses the border between France and Spain twice.

Stage 16 of this year's Tour is the perfect one for you. It crosses the border between France and Spain twice.

And I'm sure you can find Taco Bell in Spain. They LOVE that stuff. ;)

And I'm sure you can find Taco Bell in Spain. They LOVE that stuff. ;)

Well, if you can't find a Taco Bell in the French or Spanish Pyrenees, there's a Mexican restaurant in Pau. At least there was in 2004.

My kids, who were tired of eating ham and cheese or cheese and ham, the two most common menu listings in France, spotted a Mexican restaurant when we were in Pau. The place was pathetic. The waiter was from Spain -- he had no idea what Mexican food was. But at least he was Spanish-speaking -- that was about as close to Mexico that the restaurant came. The menu clearly was a rip off from a US TexMex restaurant. However, the kitchen staff clearly had not ever had any Mexican food. Just to give you some idea of how much a farce the restaurant was, the lettuce on " le burrito" that I had was covered in the mustard vinegarette that typically is found in French restaurants. Every person in the restaurant was drinking wine, rather than beer, with their food.