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  1. #1
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    Please share your best racing heckles!!!!

    Some of the best Cx racing fun and memories are spectator heckles...now that US Natz 2010 are done, please share some of your best heckles to expand our repertoire in anticipation for next season

  2. #2
    ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)
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    "HEY! That guy ripped his shorts!"

    because my shorts did get hung up and ripped right up the thigh on a remount.

  3. #3
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    "F for effort!"

    I was basically walking on a long run-up. I was focused on the race Sunday (to win a series) and only raced Saturday because it was close to home. I went in with the plan to race hard the first two laps and if I was in it, I'd race hard to the finish. I almost had two high speed crashes in the first lap. I did fall over into a tree on the 2nd lap trying to ride the same run-up, so I totally backed off. Running is not my strength and this run-up was looonnnggg. I did ride it on another lap to much applause.

  4. #4
    Fat aging guy on a bike..
    Reputation: cyklopath's Avatar
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    A few years ago in a local series, near the end of a race, I was walking from one barrier to the next..... (I weighed 40lbs more than I do now) and a spectator yelled "do you need a leash for that bike? Cuz you sure do walk it a lot!"
    ......._: )
    ...... \<,
    ...( )/( )

    My Crappy Blog

  5. #5
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    After falling a girl calls out, "Oh how tragic."
    Dirt McGirt

  6. #6
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    I like simple

    Go Faster
    one nation, under surveillance with liberty and justice for few

    still not figgering on biggering

  7. #7
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    In one of the SM Open (P/1/2) races last year, a buddy of ours was leading a small group, but with a pretty good gap in front of them. He was met with "C'mon, Log-jam! You're holdin' up traffic!" Irony of that is that I'm a BoP'er in the 35+, 4's. Guess I gotta be good at something....

  8. #8
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    I use all of these
    Stand For Something.

  9. #9
    TWD
    TWD is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by adimiro
    Some of the best Cx racing fun and memories are spectator heckles...now that US Natz 2010 are done, please share some of your best heckles to expand our repertoire in anticipation for next season
    I don't know about best, but on the worst category, some random hipster chick heckled my bar tape lap after lap for 60 minutes. WFT? One lap...."hey your bar tape doesn't match". Next lap "your bar tape matches your jersey"

    Heckle FAIL! If your cadre of lame arse skinny jean friends don't even laugh at your heckles, chances are, they aren't funny and you should work on some new material.
    All in all, at the end of the day, it is what it is....just sayin'

  10. #10
    A wheelist
    Reputation: Mike T.'s Avatar
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    You should have said "Pity your t!t$ aren't as big as your mouth".
    .
    Mike The Bike's home wheelbuilding info - dedicated to providing Newby wheelbuilder information and motivation.

    I'm not cranky; I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.

  11. #11
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    "You can catch up to that guy!!" says my 10 yr old son to a dude passing him while he shot video of one of my races.

  12. #12
    Cyclocross fool
    Reputation: bikenerd's Avatar
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    I got heckled about a Facebook post I had made about appreciating the sunrise. It's hard to refute the hecklers when they've done their homework.

  13. #13
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    " You're Not Winning "

  14. #14
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    I kinda race with a theme...

    lots and lots of orange...jokingly call myself Great Pumpkin Racing. A buddy called me that years ago in a destination race we were doing. I crashed on a loose downhill, really rung my bell, but no damage to either me or the bike. It took a few minutes to get back in rythmn on the bike...meanwhile my buddy rode into the distance. On the final 9 miles of road-about 31 miles dirt/stone/sand, the rest paved, I started to reel him in.

    He saw me coming in my orange glory and said to himself..."there's no way I'm letting the Great Pumpkin catch me" So, Great Pumpkin Racing was born! I even have a great haunted pumpkin jersey that is great for the cross season.

    So, I get alot of "come on, pedal pumkin", "go get em pumpkin"-etc. I usually reply with something like thanks pookey, thanks for the kind words sunshine, etc...

    Alas, Great Pumpkin Racing is no more...I'll be a Team member next year. For cross season, the only thing orange will be the bike.

  15. #15
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    A friend hit me with this one this season...

    "You're riding like you're going for a coffee!"

  16. #16
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    Everytime I lead a race, all I hear is "sandbagger!!!!". Heck, I am racing open, what do they expect.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockdude
    Everytime I lead a race, all I hear is "sandbagger!!!!". Heck, I am racing open, what do they expect.

    ouch!

  18. #18
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by adimiro
    ... please share some of your best heckles to expand our repertoire in anticipation for next season
    Hecklees, fight back ...
    http://www.cyclocrossvideos.com/cx/misc/2007_kick.html

  19. #19
    Good news everyone!
    Reputation: Jim311's Avatar
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    I didn't know CX spectating involved this much trash talk. Maybe I need to spectate a few races and work on my trash talk repertoire.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim311
    I didn't know CX spectating involved this much trash talk. Maybe I need to spectate a few races and work on my trash talk repertoire.
    In the 'cross off season go to your local mall and hang out in the food court. Start heckling the the McDonald's, then Sabarro, then Taco Bell... but mix it up and hit the Jamba Juice and the Starbucks to stay on your heckling toes.

  21. #21
    Perpetual Three
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    when my wife is racing, I yell "get her, she's fat!".
    I know, its horrible.

  22. #22
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    "WHAT WOULD JESUS DO, (fill in your buddy's name)!?!" HE WOULD RIDE FASTER!!!

  23. #23
    Good news everyone!
    Reputation: Jim311's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TWB8s
    In the 'cross off season go to your local mall and hang out in the food court. Start heckling the the McDonald's, then Sabarro, then Taco Bell... but mix it up and hit the Jamba Juice and the Starbucks to stay on your heckling toes.

    I'll have to train hard in the off season to be in peak physical condition to out-heckle the competition.

  24. #24
    d2p
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    this year ""CONQUER THE MASSES WITH YOUR CHARISMA!" is going to be huge.

  25. #25
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    1. Wait until a group of three go by. Say to the first two, "You're looking great!". Then hit the last guy in line with, "You, not so much!".

    2. Way to lap people in reverse. Your'e about to backwards pass the leader again.

    3. If you're here, who's at home disappointing your wife/mom/husband/etc.

    4. Just like that, now faster.

    5. OK, enough with the slow motion practicing, do it full speed now.

    6. Too slow to have that much slobber on your face.
    I like to start out slow, then back it off a notch.
    www.blanco-suave.blogspot.com

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