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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by wchevron View Post
    I heard Wiggins is going to use the Machete to break the hour record.
    Not the record, the timer they use for the record. Should work well as a blunt instrument.
    Quote Originally Posted by chudak View Post
    It's made with a mixture of titanium, unobtanium and the freshly harvested dew from the sweaty brows of 16 YO suburban virgins.
    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    Don't forget the ground up unicorn horn. That makes it magical.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by junior1210 View Post
    Not the record, the timer they use for the record. Should work well as a blunt instrument.
    Your assuming elite cyclists have the upper body strength to lift that bike. I am skeptical...

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by MR_GRUMPY View Post
    I see that all of these come with those new modern "dick" brakes.
    Awesome, you'd have to be well endowed with more than just huge muscles to operate this bike- a manly bike indeed

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooskull View Post
    Awesome, you'd have to be well endowed with more than just huge muscles to operate this bike- a high fashion manly bike indeed
    fixed it for you

  5. #55
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    Enough! Do you realize how much this thread is costing my employer? And people in my surrounding cubes are thinking WTF, that dude has got issues.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooskull View Post
    Enough! Do you realize how much this thread is costing my employer? And people in my surrounding cubes are thinking WTF, that dude has got issues.
    They probably thought that before this thread...

  7. #57
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    Consider this my contribution to this thread. For those unable to afford the machete, I present for your cycling pleasure:


    Check out this beast of a bike-jiant.jpg

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by MR_GRUMPY View Post
    I see that all of these come with those new modern "dick" brakes.

    So, you are saying you don't need disk brakes?

    Does Trek make good disk brakes?
    It's a fire road.............
    I'm on a road bike..........

    They have enough in common to blast down it.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooskull View Post
    Awesome, you'd have to be well endowed with more than just huge muscles to operate this bike- a manly bike indeed
    Wait, brakes means more than one. If he's got more than one "dick" brake, then he can ride whatever he wants. He'd be that manly.
    Quote Originally Posted by chudak View Post
    It's made with a mixture of titanium, unobtanium and the freshly harvested dew from the sweaty brows of 16 YO suburban virgins.
    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    Don't forget the ground up unicorn horn. That makes it magical.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winn View Post
    Scary part is that apparently they have sold all but 3 red ones. Get yours fast.
    Pee Wee Herman bought a bunch of red ones for the new movie he's working on now.

  11. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by stan01 View Post
    Consider this my contribution to this thread. For those unable to afford the machete, I present for your cycling pleasure:


    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Jiant.jpg 
Views:	270 
Size:	61.4 KB 
ID:	305078
    Nice green Jiant. I ride an orange LaMond myself.

  12. #62
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    Thank you EL I have one and itís very fun to ride, I also work with kid who would love to have one, new to this site but boy oh boy are there some spoiled hypocrite on here, hope I never see them on the road, they are way above me, just ask THEM!

  13. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyo View Post
    Thank you EL I have one and itís very fun to ride, I also work with kid who would love to have one, new to this site but boy oh boy are there some spoiled hypocrite on here, hope I never see them on the road, they are way above me, just ask THEM!
    interesting first post...a three-yr old thread dredge and a slam at the membership.

    actually, others poster's comments were closer to being hyper-critical than hypocritical.

    but, given the low-quality, aesthetically-challenged, and over-priced nature of the Machete, their criticisms weren't really that extreme.
    Ancient Astronaut theorists say, 'YES!'

  14. #64
    tlg
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyo View Post
    Thank you EL I have one and itís very fun to ride, I also work with kid who would love to have one, new to this site but boy oh boy are there some spoiled hypocrite on here
    Killer first post! Man you showed them. It's been almost 3yrs and they all forgot about this thread.... then whooosh in you sweep in with a zinger.


    BTW.... what do you think hypocrite means? Because I do not think that word means what you think it means.
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  15. #65
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    Happy for the dredge whatever the reason... when this thread was new and I saw the Amazon reviews I was laughing to the point of tears.

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetdog9 View Post
    Happy for the dredge whatever the reason... when this thread was new and I saw the Amazon reviews I was laughing to the point of tears.
    I missed those reviews the first time around.

    Now I'm in the process of wasting time & laughing when I should be working.

    I suspect people are a little bit intimidated to see a person riding on a bike called Machete. They are always running behind saying, "Hey, something came off your bike," or some such, trying to shake me up or throw me off my game. But I ain't got time for that.

  17. #67
    tlg
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetdog9 View Post
    Happy for the dredge whatever the reason... when this thread was new and I saw the Amazon reviews I was laughing to the point of tears.
    OMG they're still selling in on Amazon.... $559.00 reasonable price too!

    Easy to Carry, Store in Your Car Trunk
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  18. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlg View Post
    OMG they're still selling in on Amazon.... $559.00 reasonable price too!

    WTF is a twitter cable and where can I get one?



    For... the... win!
    I'm guessing a twitter cable tweets every gear change out to all your followers.

  19. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oxtox View Post
    ...

    but, given the low-quality, aesthetically-challenged, and over-priced nature of the Machete, their criticisms weren't really that extreme.
    You know, take away the hideous decals and the laughable sales copy (would anybody REALLY race this thing??), and what you have is just a mediocre, cheap bike that's about $200 overpriced.

    Somehow I think there's some marketing guy in China who just doesn't get it. They probably read those hilariously sarcastic reviews, and think they are compliments.
    "L'enfer, c'est les autres"

  20. #70
    .je
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    Quote Originally Posted by stan01 View Post
    Consider this my contribution to this thread. For those unable to afford the machete, I present for your cycling pleasure:Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Jiant.jpg 
Views:	270 
Size:	61.4 KB 
ID:	305078
    Ya know whose bike that is!


    He loves his bikes.

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