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  1. #1
    tlg
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    Check out this beast of a bike

    Look how aero it is. It must be fast. With a name like Machete, you know it's bad a$$.
    It's a scant 14kg (30lb).
    You can own one for only $665.00. That should leave a little cash on hand for upgrades.

    Machete Visp 51 54 cm 700c 14 Speeds Road Bike Speed Road Bicycle Bicicleta | eBay


    An array of cool colors too.
    Custom Di2 & Garmin/GoPro mounts 2013 SuperSix EVO Hi-MOD Team * 2004 Klein Aura V

  2. #2
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    So aero. Much kickstand. Very pro.

  3. #3
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    Damn, I just spent my money on a Domane, maybe I can get the stickers for my Roubaix and my Trek, so they can be so cool too....

  4. #4
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Love the super aero brake set up. Only sissies ride the hoods, real men are all drops all day

  5. #5
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    14 speeds! And look at that giant cassette. And look how they mounted those levers. that's for hard-core riders who always stay in the drops. We don't need no stinking hoods to ride on.

    what the heck kind of shifters are those?
    Have you ever been to Electric Ladyland?

  6. #6
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCavilia View Post

    what the heck kind of shifters are those?
    Those are the cheapest shifters money can buy with a Shimano tag for a road bike.


    Attachment 305034

  7. #7
    tlg
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCavilia View Post
    14 speeds! And look at that giant cassette. And look how they mounted those levers. that's for hard-core riders who always stay in the drops. We don't need no stinking hoods to ride on.

    what the heck kind of shifters are those?
    If you're strong enough to ride a 14kg bike, you only need 14 speeds.

    Shifters are thumb shifters on the handlebar tops. I imagine when you're in a tight aero tuck, you could shift them with your teeth.

    New Shimano SL A050 3 2 x 7 Speed Thumb Shifters | eBay
    Custom Di2 & Garmin/GoPro mounts 2013 SuperSix EVO Hi-MOD Team * 2004 Klein Aura V

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlg View Post
    If you're strong enough to ride a 14kg bike, you only need 14 speeds.
    In my youth our bikes weighed more than that, and came with one gear. Shifters (for all 3 speeds) were for sissies who rode "English bikes". I eventually did get an upgrade though, to two speeds with a Bendix Automatic hub.

    But at 14 kg and with disc brakes it might make an excellent downhiller.
    Last edited by ibericb; 04-07-2015 at 12:37 PM.
    "When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments."
    -Elizabeth Howard West

    Never use your face as a brake pad.
    -Jake Watson

  9. #9
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    Scary part is that apparently they have sold all but 3 red ones. Get yours fast.

  10. #10
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    and it has disc brakes, unlike those low-tech rim brakes eh

  11. #11
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    Wow, I didn't think there was any bike worse than the GMC Denali 700c. This sucker also weights in at 30 lbs.


  12. #12
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    At least you can get a Denali for less than $200

  13. #13
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    Type : Road Bike - Racing

    41 watchers!

    Some parent is going to think they're getting their kid the coolest bike ever, oh dear.

    People having fun with it on Amazon (questions and reviews), too:
    Amazon.com : VP A01 Red 48 cm, 51 cm, 54 cm 700C 14 Gears Men Road Bike Speed Road Bicycle Mechanical Disc Brakes : Sports & Outdoors

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetdog9 View Post
    Type : Road Bike - Racing

    41 watchers!

    Some parent is going to think they're getting their kid the coolest bike ever, oh dear.

    People having fun with it on Amazon (questions and reviews), too:
    Amazon.com : VP A01 Red 48 cm, 51 cm, 54 cm 700C 14 Gears Men Road Bike Speed Road Bicycle Mechanical Disc Brakes : Sports & Outdoors
    Next will be the post "I just got a new Machete, how can I make it faster"

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winn View Post
    Next will be the post "I just got a new Machete, how can I make it faster"
    If the metric were pounds shaved, it probably could be a weight weenies dream project. It would seem to have a lot of potential.
    "When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments."
    -Elizabeth Howard West

    Never use your face as a brake pad.
    -Jake Watson

  16. #16
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    Oh you have to read the reviews, this one is gold "Upon receiving this beast of a bike I immediately went and signed up for a STRAVA account. Next I searched all the local KOMs and decided to go hunting. On my first ride I stole 188 KOMs and got a speeding ticket from the local police department. The ticket is framed and hanging in my garage as a momento of the awesomeness that is the Machete. My second ride was even better, I decided to go race a local criterium. From the first whistle I left the field in my rear view mirror I have mounted on my helmet(safety first). With in 2 laps I had lapped the field. In the process I won 2 primes that consisted of a bag of coffee and an Ontario Series T-Shirt. With the field starring in awe at the awesomeness of my bike I decided that lapping the field once wasn't good enough and did it again. After I won the race, the podium picture had just me on the top step, all the other racers felt unworthy to be in the presence of such an amazing marvel of engineering. After the race one of the podium girls came up to me and offered herself as a reward, which I gladly accepted. I used the $63 first place winnings and took her to dinner, reservations for three of course (me, her, and the Machete). The future seems bright and the possibilities are endless with this bike in your arsenal"

  17. #17
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    Guys, the weight doesn't matter - they're very clear about this: "This bike literally defies all laws pertaining to gravity."

  18. #18
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Oh ther are hilarious here's the beginning of just one more review. It's subtle but fun

    "When this bike first arrived, I got a few of my friends from the gym to help me carry the box from my front porch to the living room"

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winn View Post
    Oh ther are hilarious here's the beginning of just one more review. It's subtle but fun

    "When this bike first arrived, I got a few of my friends from the gym to help me carry the box from my front porch to the living room"
    I like the one about people shouting about things falling off the bike, or something similar, but being unphased by the shouts.
    "When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments."
    -Elizabeth Howard West

    Never use your face as a brake pad.
    -Jake Watson

  20. #20
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    LOL

    "I joined a local cycling club, and they call me "Fred", which is weird because my name isn't Fred. I don't really get the nickname. I've corrected them a bunch, but they still call me Fred. Anyway, I got this bike because I wanted a cool bike like theirs, and boy I'm glad I did! Now they call me "Flyin' Fred", which is way cooler than just plain old "Fred". Buying this bike was well worth the money!"

  21. #21
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    They were actually pretty smart about the brake lever placement. After all, the bike will be stolen by (or given to) a homeless guy who's going to rotate the bars. Ultimately, it will be safer with the levers where they are.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlg View Post
    Shifters are thumb shifters on the handlebar tops. I imagine when you're in a tight aero tuck, you could shift them with your teeth.
    Or if you are Pinocchio, you could lie out loud about your FTP then use your nose.

  23. #23
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    Gotta have a set of those wheels,being on this bike they have to be fast! Also did some research and the reason the brakes are on the drops is if your were even to attempt riding the hoods on top the G-forces from the awesome speed you'll be able to obtain on this beast would literally suck you off the seat. I think you we may see these in the pro peleton as early as 2016.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetdog9 View Post
    Type : Road Bike - Racing

    41 watchers!

    Some parent is going to think they're getting their kid the coolest bike ever, oh dear.

    People having fun with it on Amazon (questions and reviews), too:
    Amazon.com : VP A01 Red 48 cm, 51 cm, 54 cm 700C 14 Gears Men Road Bike Speed Road Bicycle Mechanical Disc Brakes : Sports & Outdoors
    42 now.
    I'm looking at he yellow one for the Tierra Bella ride this weekend.
    It's a fire road.............
    I'm on a road bike..........

    They have enough in common to blast down it.

  25. #25
    tlg
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    I was showing this to my GF. She said I should get one for when I ride with her.

    Then she said it'd be funny to show up to the next group ride with it.
    Custom Di2 & Garmin/GoPro mounts 2013 SuperSix EVO Hi-MOD Team * 2004 Klein Aura V

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