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Getting your wife, girlfriend, significant other started into cycling....

8K views 24 replies 21 participants last post by  kmunny19 
#1 ·
How have you guys gone about this? Also, what kind of a bike did you start her/him on? My wife, bless her heart, is not that coordinated, so I am worried about her starting on a road bike. I am thinking of putting some slicks on a mountain bike or a hybrid, so that she is a little more upright. Then eventually get her over to a road bike after maybe a year of that.

Anyways, thoughts?
 
#2 ·
palu said:
what kind of a bike did you start her on?
In 2002 I bought my girlfriend a Trek 4900 mountain bike. (Married her in 2003). Last year she got an Trek EX7 and this year a Specialized Ruby.

If it is her first bike (or at least first bike in a long time), get her a hybrid. Let her pick it out to get a good fit - that could make or break her continuing the hobby. Best of luck,

Bri
 
#3 ·
My wife is a klutz. Her whole life she was called "Grace" because she was anything but graceful. I started riding with her and amazingly she does great. Can't walk a straight line but put her on a MTB or a road bike and she is gone. She picks and sees lines I never even dreamed of. Now as far as getting her started, she wanted to spend more time with me soooooo it was off to get her a hardtail MTB, a used one. She loved it. Next was the full suspension and now a road bike. Is there anyway you could borrow a bike and she if she enjoys it. Hate for someone to invest in a dust catcher if she is not going to ride. It is all up to them if they want to continue. Also, make sure she is comfortable. Comfort is king. If she is not comfy she will never ride again and she will think you are nuts for wanting to ride if it causes that much pain.
 
#4 ·
Thanks guys, and good suggestions. Yeah, I was thinking of getting a cheap used MTB on craigslist or something so that if she doesn't end up liking it, I'm not out $1000. There are a few to choose from, and so we'll have to go around to see which she feels the best on. Then, I'll put on some slicks and go for an easy ride with her for a few days. We'll see how it goes from there. Oh, I'll also get her a nice comfortable saddle, too (thanks, jupiterrn).
 
#5 ·
Go at HER pace, not yours, And don't get your hopes up

My wife is an intermittent rider. She trained for (and rode) centuries the years she turned 40 and 50, just to show that she could, but otherwise doesn't care that much about it. She'll ride every day for a couple of weeks, then not touch the bike for a couple of weeks.
When I got her into it (20 years ago), the biggest mistake I made was being impatient. I was pretty fit and fairly fast, for me. She was a runner with no cycling experience beyond kid stuff--she could often beat me in running races under 10k, and I expected her to be able to keep up on the bike. I got bored going 12mph and she got mad when I urged her to go faster. I'd go ahead for 10 minutes, then turn around and she'd be out of sight. I'd let her go ahead, and she'd go slower and slower until we were just bumping along ("I like to look at the cows," she used to say).
It wasn't a matter of fitness or ability, but of interest and expectations. She had no desire to use the bike for fitness or to improve her cycling--she just wanted to ride when she felt like it. We ride together now, but it's a social activity, on my rest days or when we're just hanging out with nothing to do.
 
#7 ·
I just bought my wife a used trek 1000. we haven't taken it out for her first ride yet, but she hasn't ridden a bicycle in ten years! She's a little nervous, not riding a bike in a decade isn't so much what shes worried about, she has MS and can't really feel her legs! She still wants to give it a try though, and she likes the idea of working up to doing maybe one of the short routes on the MS ride in our area next year. I hope everything goes well, because I think its something that we could really enjoy together. Its very cool to see her showing a geniune interest in something that I already enjoy a great deal.

I would definitely say don't force her into something that she doesn't want to do, and ride at a pace that is comfortable for her. Also, I would suggest going to a bike shop and letting her try a variety of bikes (hybrid/mountain/road/whatever) to see which one she is more comfortable on. She'll be the only one that can truly make that decision. Good luck!
 
#9 ·
Dave Hickey said:
Does she want to ride?
You can lead a horse to water...

I built a nice bike for my wife at one point and she never went near it. After about six months I pulled the parts off of it and built a bike for my son with them. I then assembled the frame/fork with spares and cheap parts from eBay and sold it. She didn't even know I sold it until she asked how my son got his new bike.

Come to think of it, I've never seen my wife ride a bike, ever. I know she knows how to ride a bike as her sister was teasing her about it at one point but she's never ridden in front of me. She was born and raised in China and there were plenty of bikes around her house where she grew up and her relatives were riding bikes, too. I figure that sooner or later she just might approach me to get her a bike, but I will not push the issue with her.
 
#12 ·
Hmmm

My SO got me started on the bike. I owned a bike, but just used it to ride to the store or the Stagecoach Bar. I was more a tennis player, skier, rock climber, backpacker, kayaker, etc..She was a ladies bike racer when I met her.

Our first "Date" we took the bikes out to the San Juan Islands in the northwest and did some 'carcamp/bike touring'...Mainly took the bikes along for some excercise, but I found I enjoyed riding that 28lb Schwinn. When we returned to our place in Jackson Hole, she said..."Hey, lets go for a bike ride" so we went out and headed up Teton Pass, a ~3000' climb beginning at 6200' and going up steeply. About 1/2 way to the top, I said "Hey, I am a bit pooped, I'm gonna stop for a rest" and she said.."We don't stop for rests, us real bike riders"....Ooooh, that got me!

So I got a real bike and began a 30yr (so far) love afair with cycling. We both raced avidly for about 10 years and had many great training rides together..

My SO still rides, but no longer do we ride together except rarely. She doesn't train to race any more and I still race Masters, so we have "issues" with relative speeds now (again?)

When we do ride together, it is social or on my 'recovery' days. As the other poster mentioned, it's difficult to keep a 12mph pace for long...Riding with a 'retired' racing spouse...it's hard to pretend, when the other person KNOWS how fast she used to be able to ride..

Including a bike along on a sightseeing vacation, or renting one for your SO, that might be a way to see if she'll get interested in the lifestyle...the obsession?

Don Hanson
 
#13 ·
I love to ride my bike by myself and find it frustrating to ride with others. I have never been married but have had ridden with SO's a few times and I must say it was never that fun. But a few weeks ago my current GF wanted to go for a ride, and I might add she is quite uncoordinated so it didn't sound like fun to me. Anyway, she borrowed a bike from a friend and I took my single speed and we had a great time. Now she wants to buy a bike so we can do it again. We just cycled around the city. For those in Toronto we rode though the Rosdale Ravine trails to Domtar Brick Works where they had a Farmers Market, then went north to Mount Pleasant Cemetery, then traveled south to the Distillery District where we sat out at a patio and listened to music.

It was a great experience. What I learned was borrowing a bike was a very good idea. That it was alright to ride slower than I normally do (who would have thought) and that cycling is my life, I ride everyday, but only a fun activity for her. I think I can live with all of this.

Hope it works out for you and your wife.
 
#14 ·
Thanks for all of the responses. Really helpful. BTW, yes, she does want to ride. She had an unfortunate accident on a mountain bike a few years ago that scared her away for a while (some stitches to her knee). But now, is intrigued again. I usually don't ride with anybody, but if my wife were to get into it, I would actually like that a lot. Our schedules are hectic, so daily rides might not work out (which means I still get my alone time), but we can schedule some weekend rides together.

Anyway, thanks again for the advices.
 
#15 ·
it she really has an interest maybe you should look into a tantum. there is at least one maker that builds one where the drive train is different for front and rear. she would not have to keep up with your gearing and cadence. But be prepared to spend $$$ :D
 
#16 ·
Take it slow. Really, both speed and in how fast you push her to catch up to you. Go out and have fun. Keep it fun and she'll get hooked. Likely you didn't get into with someone racing off a head of you.

For your first ride, go somewhere she can be comfortable. Maybe a quiet multi use trail. If you can ride side by side that will help too.
 
#19 ·
Dave Hickey said:
+1...mine has no interest in riding and that's just fine with me.. We each have our time apart and it's worked for 23 years
I agree! It gives time for myself.

My gf got a road bike. I helped here get started and made sure she understood bike etiquette as well as basically handling skills. She knew that she won't be able to keep my pace and is pretty good about riding on her own, and using the indoor trainer. Sometimes on the weekend make it out together which makes a good recovery ride for me. One nice thing is you can take vacations that involve riding. My one word of advice is be patient.
 
#20 ·
Honestly, I think one of the biggest factors is buying her something she thinks she looks good on. Then comfort.

They're chicks - if they aren't already into some sort of serious biking, feeling like they "look good" is the motivation to get on the bike in the first place, then being comfortable can keep them riding.
 
#22 ·
Dr. Phil talks about this in his book and I've tried it a few times.
Dr. Phil is an avid tennis player. He wanted his wife to start, with dreams
they would compete together.

Women don't compete at most things. Especially with their partners
they are in a relationship with.

She laughed on the court, made jokes and hit the ball everywhere
but forward. Dr. Phil about exploded.

I tried getting girlfriends to snowboard, kayak, bike, climb, etc.
They may go, but they won't be like "a guy" unless they were
like that when you met them. If you want a "guy" with you,
call your buddies.

If you push or critique women they will cry. They're not wired
like men. (which is good)
 
#23 ·
My wife just isn't interested, and that's fine with me. She is into exercise and sports, just not cycling. She used to enjoy watching it with me, until all her faves were busted for doping. Best part is she is very supportive of my riding and even more importantly, buying.
 
#24 ·
Having never gotten a SO into riding, I can only share my experience as a woman on the other side of the coin. When I first started riding as an adult, I was dating a cyclist at the time. He made it look fun, so without consulting him first (which I'm sure he loved) I bought a hybrid (a Trek FX to be exact). It's a nice bike and light as hybrids go, but I quickly realized that it wasn't the right choice for me. About a month later, I got a road bike, and I haven't ridden the hybrid since. The road bike was actually much more comfortable. It helps that I spent quite a bit of time and effort in making sure that it fit.

I'm pretty independent and, so while my then-BF sort of showed me the ropes (once I got the road bike that is; he wouldn't have been caught dead riding with me on the hybrid), I kind of learned a lot of it on my own. A local shop pointed out a route on mostly country roads, and I did that ride repeatedly until I felt comfortable joining some club rides. From there, I started doing faster training rides and grew comfortable in a paceline.

One piece of advice I have for you is to try to leave your current conceptions of your wife at the door. I didn't consider myself an athletic person when I got my road bike. I was nervous as heck when I first started riding, but I really took to it and was determined to become a stronger rider. Since getting the road bike in July of 2006, I've put over 12,000miles on it, and I'm about ready to make a serious upgrade to a custom bike. So, you never know.

Granted, your wife may never do anything more than tool around on her bike, but then again, she may surprise you, too. Just be encouraging whatever the case may be.

Good luck!
 
#25 ·
my wife seems to be getting more into it as I have been in the last few months. without pushing for a response, make sure to share with her how your rides go, what your goals are, how your bike is, what upgrades you're looking into, etc. make cycling an obvious background for you in general, and see if she gains more interest, or says, "you know, I'd like to try riding too"
 
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