Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 85
  1. #1
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: pdenman33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    20

    Shaving the taint / betweenus / perinium

    Ok so it's time to just put this out there - who shaves their taint? And for that matter, if you shave your legs, where do you stop?
    I've been riding for about 4 years unshaved now, and my posterior has been a major source of irritation for me. I used to think it was my seat bones, but now as i really dial in my fit, i'm starting to wonder is it simply a matter of follicle irritation? I feel that, essentially, where i need to sit for my seat bones to be properly oriented causes the fleshy bits pain. Were this not a consistent 4-year problem, I would chalk it up to lack of conditioning tenderness.

    Pros and cons of shaving 'twixt your legs, and who's done it?? And is there a way to do it without going spread eagle with clippers in front of a floor mirror...

  2. #2
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: sculpin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    219

  3. #3
    cheers
    Reputation: SystemShock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    22,592
    .....
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Monkhouse: I want to die like my Dad did, peacefully, in his sleep... not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    SystemShock: I kicked Lance in the nuts. Err, nut.

    Platypius:
    I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    AM999: Romney 320 Electoral votes, Obama 218. Colorado profs' [prediction] model, 100% accurate since 1980.

    Seamus: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day,it blew my teenage mind


  4. #4
    wut?
    Reputation: Clipped_in's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    297
    Quote Originally Posted by pdenman33 View Post
    ...who shaves their taint?
    Two places I do not want ANY stubble and that is there and behind my knees. No shavy.
    Ride lots!
    Eddy Merckx

  5. #5
    Fecal indicator
    Reputation: Oxtox's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    6,319
    I'm thinking a shaved taint ain't gonna generate any smiley faces after the first 24 hrs is up...

    stubble or razor burn in that particular area could be really unpleasant.
    eff all y'all...

  6. #6
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    99
    Wtf????!!!!!
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  7. #7
    mtnroadie
    Reputation: mtnroadie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    884
    DONT DO IT!

    Stop at your upper thighs.

    I dont shave for most of the year, come poison ivy season, hot humid summers and when people stare and laugh at my hairy gorilla legs I have to start.

  8. #8
    wut?
    Reputation: Clipped_in's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    297
    Quote Originally Posted by pdenman33 View Post
    Pros and cons of shaving 'twixt your legs, and who's done it??
    You could just put embro down there to get the party started... Brings new meaning to the term "Sufferfest".
    Ride lots!
    Eddy Merckx

  9. #9
    Not a rocket surgeon.
    Reputation: tihsepa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    9,075
    Do it you wuss.


    Be a pioneer.

  10. #10
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    539
    time to lube up

  11. #11
    What did you say? Huh?
    Reputation: Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    18,074
    I *knew* I should not have clicked on this thread.
    Man. You are all stuped.
    ~RUFUSPHOTO

  12. #12
    A wheelist
    Reputation: Mike T.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    9,518
    I demand my click back.
    .
    Mike The Bike's home wheelbuilding info - dedicated to providing Newby wheelbuilder information and motivation.

    I'm not cranky; I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.

  13. #13
    Large Suburban Male
    Reputation: murbike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    4,434
    Why, in Gawd's name, would you even WANT to shave your taint?
    “The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.”
    William Gibson

  14. #14
    w-g
    w-g is offline
    Will rep for beer
    Reputation: w-g's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    608

    Had to hunt back in time for this bit of advice...

    (I do not take credit for this one)

    Don't Shave

    I have recently made one of the biggest mistakes in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

    No, I was not constipated. This was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny balls of sh1t were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass-cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me knowing that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling place. Eventually I would have to do one of two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its ‘Can't-Be-Flushed’ threshold.

    As I was contemplating this problem, I had what seemed at the time to be a brilliant idea. “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair all together, and then my crap will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements, things like "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK, or "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

    I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled; satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

    Little did I know?

    I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

    Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic sh1t- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky sh1t/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. And I mean it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

    Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4-block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering sh1t/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own sh1t blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

    Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair, ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my ass-cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum-sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

    As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing back in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that’s what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

    All I can say is friends don’t shave your ass hair!

    The end…
    “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Inigo Montoya

  15. #15
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: walter2007's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    629
    Quote Originally Posted by pdenman33 View Post
    Ok so it's time to just put this out there - who shaves their taint? And for that matter, if you shave your legs, where do you stop?
    I've been riding for about 4 years unshaved now, and my posterior has been a major source of irritation for me. I used to think it was my seat bones, but now as i really dial in my fit, i'm starting to wonder is it simply a matter of follicle irritation? I feel that, essentially, where i need to sit for my seat bones to be properly oriented causes the fleshy bits pain. Were this not a consistent 4-year problem, I would chalk it up to lack of conditioning tenderness.

    Pros and cons of shaving 'twixt your legs, and who's done it?? And is there a way to do it without going spread eagle with clippers in front of a floor mirror...


    Do the world a favor and don"t reproduce.

  16. #16
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    215

    Wow!

    Still laughing hours later
    Randy
    www.axelproject.com
    Ridgway, Colorado

  17. #17
    Hai.
    Reputation: erik1245's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,117
    Quote Originally Posted by Clipped_in View Post
    Two places I do not want ANY stubble and that is there and behind my knees. No shavy.
    The back of the knee is only bad from stubble after the very first time shaving.... After that, the skin toughens up and you don't even notice it any longer.
    Man up, dumb down, and do one gear.

    /AYHSMB

  18. #18
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    53
    Quote Originally Posted by w-g View Post
    (I do not take credit for this one)

    Don't Shave

    I have recently made one of the biggest mistakes in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

    No, I was not constipated. This was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny balls of sh1t were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass-cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me knowing that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling place. Eventually I would have to do one of two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its ‘Can't-Be-Flushed’ threshold.

    As I was contemplating this problem, I had what seemed at the time to be a brilliant idea. “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair all together, and then my crap will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements, things like "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK, or "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

    I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled; satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

    Little did I know?

    I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

    Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic sh1t- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky sh1t/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. And I mean it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

    Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4-block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering sh1t/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own sh1t blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

    Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair, ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my ass-cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum-sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

    As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing back in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that’s what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

    All I can say is friends don’t shave your ass hair!

    The end…
    Had me laughing the whole time!

    I was blessed with ample amounts of body hair. I've shaved my chest for awhile now (started while taking pictures to compare during weight loss). I started shaving my legs to mid thigh about a month ago. I had the thought one day that it only makes sense to connect the two shaved areas. Rather than SHAVE everything, I trimmed, with a short guard, the works from mid thigh to waist (got rid of the wool shorts). The only problem so far is that I had to buy a separate trimmer, one for brown town, and one for face.
    Wife likes the trimmed version of me and I like that my ass wipes clean with no poo traps. Win Win

  19. #19
    microdosed sarcasm
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3,994
    I do.

    No problems.

  20. #20
    Slightly Opinionated
    Reputation: robdamanii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    10,219
    Quote Originally Posted by w-g View Post
    (I do not take credit for this one)

    Don't Shave

    I have recently made one of the biggest mistakes in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

    No, I was not constipated. This was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny balls of sh1t were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass-cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me knowing that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling place. Eventually I would have to do one of two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its ‘Can't-Be-Flushed’ threshold.

    As I was contemplating this problem, I had what seemed at the time to be a brilliant idea. “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair all together, and then my crap will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements, things like "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK, or "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

    I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled; satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

    Little did I know?

    I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

    Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic sh1t- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky sh1t/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. And I mean it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

    Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4-block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering sh1t/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own sh1t blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

    Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair, ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my ass-cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum-sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

    As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing back in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that’s what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

    All I can say is friends don’t shave your ass hair!

    The end…
    Did that happen to come from EHOWA?

    And on topic....WTF would you even contemplate shaving your crack?
    Quote Originally Posted by bigrider View Post
    Teh Lounge- "Its not just for weirdos anymore. It is for those trying to escape the noobsauce questions."
    Quote Originally Posted by QuiQuaeQuod View Post
    Trolling the lounge is like noodling for piranha.


    The Daily Grind Cycling Journal & Tailwind Coaching

  21. #21
    Darling of The Lounge
    Reputation: Retro Grouch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    3,621

    Interesting Thread

    Attached Images Attached Images  

  22. #22
    Not a rocket surgeon.
    Reputation: tihsepa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    9,075
    Quote Originally Posted by Retro Grouch View Post
    Is that you?

  23. #23
    tlg
    tlg is offline
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: tlg's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    4,955
    Now this one thread that is BETTER without pictures!

  24. #24
    Master debator.
    Reputation: nOOky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    7,302
    I shave my whole lower half, taint, big Jim and the twins, toes, everything. Then I slap on a generous dose of Aqua Velva and just sit back and enjoy the burn.
    "I felt bad because I couldn't wheelie; until I met a man with no bicycle"

  25. #25
    Darling of The Lounge
    Reputation: Retro Grouch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    3,621
    Quote Originally Posted by tihsepa View Post
    Is that you?
    Yes...

    but only when the fleet is in town

Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

INTERBIKE

Hot Deals

Interbike Featured Booths

Check out the hottest road bike products from these brands!



















See All Interbike Coverage - Click Here »


Latest RoadBike Articles


Latest Videos

RoadbikeReview on Facebook