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  1. #1
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    Bull Durham appreciation thread

    Still one of the best source of movie one liners, ever.

    * posted by Creakybot 2013 all rights reserved.
    * not actually waterproof.

  2. #2
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    Lollygagging.

    * posted by Creakybot 2013 all rights reserved.
    * not actually waterproof.

  3. #3
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    Not going to youtube but the scene where he calls him meat. That is classic.

    Hell, the whole movie is just amazing.

  4. #4
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    Calvin: Why's he calling me meat? I'm the one driving a Porsche.

  5. #5
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    For the P.O. crowd.


    Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.- Crash Davis

  6. #6
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    Candlesticks make a nice wedding gift.

  7. #7
    donuts?
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    women get wooly
    -Steve
    Quote Originally Posted by Chain
    Next time, save your energy for tomorrows ride and try not to come in 6th.

  8. #8
    Spicy Dumpling
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    It was on a couple of times last weekend. I just left it on, one of the best quotable movies ever.

    Well, I believe in the soul, the c***, the p*****, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

    And Susan Sarandon oozed sexy in that movie..
    If I were to beat you senseless with a tire iron, what color would you bleed?..The Missus

  9. #9
    Quiet, daddy's drinking
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    Oh my goodness, we've got ourselves a natural disaster. (best spit take ever)
    Just because you won't listen to reason does not mean I have to listen to idiocy.

    I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.

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  10. #10
    donuts?
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    "flower goes in the front"
    -Steve
    Quote Originally Posted by Chain
    Next time, save your energy for tomorrows ride and try not to come in 6th.

  11. #11
    We have met the enemy...
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    Tim Robbins has made two great movies and this is one of them--the other is 'The Player'

    And I liked everyone else in the cast
    "When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking."

    (Sir) Arthur Conan Doyle. Scientific American, January 18, 1896

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by superflylondon View Post
    Not going to youtube but the scene where he calls him meat. That is classic.

    Hell, the whole movie is just amazing.

    Best part of the movie

  13. #13
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    I thought this thread was going to be about smoking.

  14. #14
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    Every time I watch that now I wonder how it would have been with Kurt Russell as Crash Davis.
    Tis the season for all of us not hard enough to play to belittle those not hard enough to win. We are a funny lot. - dave @ November Bicycles

  15. #15
    Proud luddite
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    Quote Originally Posted by skinewmexico View Post
    Every time I watch that now I wonder how it would have been with Kurt Russell as Crash Davis.
    That would have sucked! And then they probably would have gone with Goldie Hawn instead of Susan Sarandon, and the movie would have been a disaster.

  16. #16
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    The best baseball movie IMHO. The best soliloquy IMHO. Just a great movie!!

    Nuke: [After he has challenged Crash to a fight] I don't hit no man first.
    Crash: All right, then... [throws him a baseball] ...hit me in the chest with that.
    Nuke: I'd kill you!
    Crash: Yeah? From what I hear, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a ****ing boat. [the crowd that has gathered laughs] Come on; right here, right in the chest.
    Nuke: No way!
    Crash: C'mon, Meat! Throw it! You know you're not gonna hit me, cause you've already started to think about it, eh? Thinkin' about how embarassing it would be to miss in front of all these people, how somebody might laugh? Come on, 'rook, show us that million-dollar arm. 'Cause I got; oh yeah, I got a good idea about that five-cent head of yours.
    [Nuke throws the ball and misses Crash by several feet, breaking a window]
    Crash: Ball four.
    Nuke: Who the hell are you, man?!
    [Nuke charges at Crash, who drops him with one punch to the face]
    Nuke: Good punch...
    Crash: I'm Crash Davis; I'm your new catcher, and you just got lesson number one; Don't think. You can only hurt the ball club.
    Annie: Millie, you've got to stay out of the clubhouse. It'll just get everybody in trouble.

    Millie: I got lured.
    Annie: You didn't get "lured". Women never get lured. They're too strong and powerful for that. Now say it -- "I didn't get lured and I will take responsibility for my actions".
    Millie: I didn't get lured and I will take responsibility for my actions.
    Annie: That's better. Right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?
    Millie: Well, he ****s like he pitches. Sorta all over the place.

    Annie: These are the ground rules. I hook up with one guy a season. Usually takes me a couple weeks to pick the guy - kinda my own spring training. And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far, so I just thought we should kinda get to know each other.
    Crash: Time out. Why do you get to choose?
    Annie: What?
    Crash: Why do you get to choose? I mean, why don't I get to choose, why doesn't he get to choose?
    Annie: Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. Why, there are laws we don't understand that bring us together and tear us apart. Uh, it's like pheromones. You get three ants together, they can't do dick. You get 300 million of them, they can build a cathedral.
    [Crash laughs]
    Nuke: So is somebody going to go to bed with somebody or what?
    Annie: Honey, you are a regular nuclear meltdown. You better cool off. Ha ha, ha ha!
    [Crash gets up to leave]
    Annie: Oh, where are you going?
    Crash: After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
    Annie: What do you believe in, then?
    Crash: Well, I believe in the soul. The cock, the *****, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. [pause] Goodnight.
    Annie: Oh my. Crash...

    Nuke: Hey, Annie, what's all this molecule stuff?
    Crash: Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.
    Nuke: [to himself] What's this guy know about pitching? If he's so good how come he's been in the minors for the last ten years? If he's so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?
    Crash: [turns back] Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don't know ****, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you'll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let's have some fun out here! This game's fun, OK? Fun goddamnit. And don't hold the ball so hard, OK? It's an egg. Hold it like an egg.
    Nuke: [to himself again] What's he know about fun? I'm young. I know about fun. An old man. He don't know nothin' about fun.

    Crash: [behind the plate again] All right. Nobody's goin' out there. [Crash calls for a curve ball]
    Nuke: [to himself] Why's he calling for a curve ball? I want to bring heat. Shake him off. Throw what you want.
    [Crash gives Nuke the sign for the pitch, Nuke shakes his head again. Crash walks to the mound.]
    Crash: Why are you shaking me off?
    Nuke: I want to bring the heater. Announce my presence with authority.
    Crash: To announce your what?
    Nuke: My presence with authority.
    Crash: To announce your presence with authority?! This guy's a first ball fastball hitter, he's looking for the heat.
    Nuke: So what? He ain't seen my heat.
    Crash: All right, Meat. Give him your heat. [He walks back to his place behind the plate.]
    Nuke: Why's he always calling me Meat? I'm the guy driving a Porsche.
    Crash: [to the batter at the plate] Fastball.
    [Nuke throws it and the batter hits a home run. The batter stands there, watching.]
    Crash: What are you doin'? Huh? What are you doing standing here? I gave you a gift. You stand here showing up my pitcher? Run, dummy.
    Crash: Well, he really hit the **** outta that one, didn't he? [laughs]
    Nuke: [softly, infuriated] I held it like an egg.
    Crash: Yeah, and he scrambled the son of a *****. Look at that, he hit the ****ing bull! Guy gets a free steak! [laughs] You having fun yet?
    Nuke: Oh, yeah. Havin' a blast.
    Crash: Good.
    Nuke: God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!
    Crash: He did know.
    Nuke: How?
    Crash: I told him.

    Nuke: How come you don't like me?
    Crash: Because you don't respect yourself, which is your problem. But you don't respect the game, and that's my problem. You got a gift.
    Nuke: I got a what?
    Crash: You got a gift. When you were a baby, the Gods reached down and turned your right arm into a thunderbolt. You got a Hall-of-Fame arm, but you're pissing it away.
    Nuke: I ain't pissing nothing away. I got a Porsche already; a 911 with a quadrophonic Blaupunkt.
    Crash: Christ, you don't need a quadrophonic Blaupunkt! What you need is a curveball! In the show, everyone can hit heat.
    Nuke: Well, how would you know? YOU been in the majors?
    Crash: Yeah, I've been in the majors. Yeah, I was in the Show. I was in the Show for 21 days once. Twenty-one greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the Show. Somebody else carries your bags. It's great. You hit white balls for batting practice. Ballparks are like cathedrals. The hotels all have room service. The women all have long legs and brains.
    Player: They're really hot, huh?
    Crash: And so are the pitchers. They throw ungodly breaking stuff in the Show. Exploding sliders. [To LaLoosh] You could be one of those guys. Nuke could be one of those guys. But you don't give a ****, Meat.

    Nuke: You're playing with my mind.
    Annie: I'm trying to play with your body.
    Nuke: I knew it, you're trying to seduce me!
    Annie: Well of course I'm trying to seduce you, for God's sake, and I'm doing a damn poor job of it... Aren't I pretty?
    Nuke: God, I think you're real cute.
    Annie: Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic, and mysterious!
    Nuke: You are, you're exotic, and mysterious, and... cute... and... That's why I'd better leave.

    Crash Davis: I never told him to stay out of your bed.
    Annie Savoy: You most certainly did.
    Crash Davis: I never told him to stay out of your bed.
    Annie Savoy: Yes you did.
    Crash Davis: I told him that a player on a streak has to respect the streak.
    Annie Savoy: Oh fine.
    Crash Davis: You know why? Because they don't - -they don't happen very often.
    Annie Savoy: Right.
    Crash Davis: If you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid, or because you're not getting laid, or because you wear women's underwear, then you are! And you should know that!
    [long pause]
    Crash Davis: Come on, Annie, think of something clever to say, huh? Something full of magic, religion, bullshit. Come on, dazzle me.
    Annie Savoy: I want you.

    [Larry jogs out to the mound to break up a players' conference]
    Larry: Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?
    Crash: Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster?
    [Jose nods]
    Crash: We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. [to the players] Is that about right?
    [the players nod]
    Crash: We're dealing with a lot of ****.
    Larry: Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by azpeterb View Post
    That would have sucked! And then they probably would have gone with Goldie Hawn instead of Susan Sarandon, and the movie would have been a disaster.
    Yeah, but the part was written for Kurt Russell, who actually played minor league baseball.
    Tis the season for all of us not hard enough to play to belittle those not hard enough to win. We are a funny lot. - dave @ November Bicycles

  18. #18
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    Best sports movie imo. Hopefully they never make that long rumored sequel.

  19. #19
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    Definitely one of my top 10 movies. Hell I even named my dog Crash.

  20. #20
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    Bat boy: Get a hit, Crash!

    Crash: Shut up.

  21. #21
    QED
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    Quote Originally Posted by VaughnA View Post
    It was on a couple of times last weekend. I just left it on, one of the best quotable movies ever.

    Well, I believe in the soul, the c***, the p*****, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
    I watched it last weekend too. This is my favorite line.

  22. #22
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    Anytime I see someone overdressed for anything I think of:
    Who dresses you? Isn't that a little excessive for the Carolina League?

  23. #23
    Spicy Dumpling
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    We go to the Lynchburg Hillcats games a few times a year. In the Carolina League, a great way to watch baseball.
    If I were to beat you senseless with a tire iron, what color would you bleed?..The Missus

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