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  1. #1
    w-g
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    Earthquake kit product fail

    Got a earthquake kit for the office today. Inside was this:

    Umm, what?
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Earthquake kit product fail-earthquakekit-fail.jpg  
    “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Inigo Montoya

  2. #2
    Road & Trail Warrior
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    I was expecting condoms.
    "What is this? A center for ants?"

  3. #3
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    thats nice that they give you tissues so you can clean up after having teh secks with yer co-irker before you kiss yer arse goodbye

  4. #4
    Call me a Fred
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    Did the kit have a shotgun so that you could protect your cubical from looters?
    Mike

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    I need my ashes hauled.

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  5. #5
    waterproof*
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    I think earthquake kits should be banned. Even the professionals don't understand earthquakes, and the danger of amateurs making them is just too much risk.
    * posted by Creakybot 2013 all rights reserved.
    * not actually waterproof.

  6. #6
    Good news everyone!
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeBiker View Post
    Did the kit have a shotgun so that you could protect your cubical from looters?
    Mossburg makes a "JIC" combo. It's a shotgun wrapped in a waterproof tube with a few rounds and other supplies inside.

  7. #7
    still shedding season
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim311 View Post
    Mossburg makes a "JIC" combo. It's a shotgun wrapped in a waterproof tube with a few rounds and other supplies inside.
    If it comes with peanut M&M's, then yeah, you'd be set for anything.

  8. #8
    Fred the Clydesdale
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    That is certainly odd. I have no idea how that would help during or after an earthquake.

    I worked with a guy who kept a nuclear bomb kit in his office. I thought it was funny, cause if a bomb were to explode, it would eliminate us. I mean we work in a prime ground zero target zone. Right between Capital Hill and the Pentagon.

    His kit had a "plastic bag" to put over his head to protect him from radiation. I think it also had some pills or something to take that would "enhance" his chances of survival.

  9. #9
    Call me a Fred
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    Quote Originally Posted by rider9 View Post
    That is certainly odd. I have no idea how that would help during or after an earthquake.

    I worked with a guy who kept a nuclear bomb kit in his office. I thought it was funny, cause if a bomb were to explode, it would eliminate us. I mean we work in a prime ground zero target zone. Right between Capital Hill and the Pentagon.

    His kit had a "plastic bag" to put over his head to protect him from radiation. I think it also had some pills or something to take that would "enhance" his chances of survival.
    Is you co-worder Smilin' Bob with his Enzyte?
    Mike

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You may starch my jumper
    Hang it upside your wall
    You know by that, baby
    I need my ashes hauled.

    Sleepy John Estes

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  10. #10
    Bacon!
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    Quote Originally Posted by rider9 View Post
    That is certainly odd. I have no idea how that would help during or after an earthquake.

    I worked with a guy who kept a nuclear bomb kit in his office. I thought it was funny, cause if a bomb were to explode, it would eliminate us. I mean we work in a prime ground zero target zone. Right between Capital Hill and the Pentagon.

    His kit had a "plastic bag" to put over his head to protect him from radiation. I think it also had some pills or something to take that would "enhance" his chances of survival.
    Sounds like a dirty bomb kit. I've seen a few of those around. The plastic bag has filters that last an hour or less. Long enough to escape I guess (also works to protect against smoke inhalation in a high rise fire escape). Iodine pills to stop uptake into the thyroid. Some of the kits even come with a full suit to protect you from getting fall out on your skin and clothes. My problem is I wouldn't have any knowledge if and where the fallout was going. Heck, I probably wouldn't even know a bomb had gone off until I saw people running by my window screaming!
    “To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit — ever. They’re like the Viet Cong — Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower.”

  11. #11
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    Asteroid protection kit:
    1. one construction grade hardhat
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    3. two large and two small bandaids
    4. one fingernail clipper
    To those in uniform, both present and past, who have protected my freedoms, I thank you. I've had a good life so far.

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  12. #12
    Fred the Clydesdale
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ridgetop View Post
    Sounds like a dirty bomb kit. I've seen a few of those around. The plastic bag has filters that last an hour or less. Long enough to escape I guess (also works to protect against smoke inhalation in a high rise fire escape). Iodine pills to stop uptake into the thyroid. Some of the kits even come with a full suit to protect you from getting fall out on your skin and clothes. My problem is I wouldn't have any knowledge if and where the fallout was going. Heck, I probably wouldn't even know a bomb had gone off until I saw people running by my window screaming!
    That was the kind of kit he had at the ready. If da BIG bomb goes boom within say, 10 miles, we're cooked any way you figure it. So, we might as well take our chances. If the big one goes, I'll only have a few seconds or a minute or two at best.

  13. #13
    w-g
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    Department of defence
    -------------------
    instructions for civil defence.

    On hearing the first warning:

    1. Proceed to the nearest building.

    2. Stay away from loose objects, and drop all glasses, books etc. In
    your hands.

    3. Remove sharp objects, such as pencils and keys, from your pockets.

    4. Loosen your necktie, unbutton your coat and remove restrictive
    articles of clothing.

    5. Remove eyeglasses, earrings, watches and other jewelry.

    6. Upon seeing the brilliant flash of a nuclear explosion, bend over
    and place your head firmly between your legs.

    7. Then kiss your ass goodbye.
    “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Inigo Montoya

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