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  1. #1
    Palm trees & sunshine!
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    How do you like your meat sliced?

    Being borned and raised in deli-friendly Philly I have to say that since moving a mere 150 miles south I'm dismayed at the utter lack of understand of the meat counter people in plying their trade.

    Here in the DC area, asking for your ham to be "sliced thin" yields about 8 slices per pound. "Shaved" gets you maybe 9 or 10 slices and "chipped" well, chipped usually results in a 10 minute argument with the deli counter retard who is either too lazy or too stupid to grasp what "chipped" luncheon meat is. (yes, I've done this more often than I care to admit)

    This is a stark contrast from Philly and the surrounding area. Back home, "shaved" means you get a slice of meat that is "whole" but you can read through it, while "sliced thin" yields very slightly thicker slices and "chipped" gives you a pile of meat chippings on the tray.

    Don't even get me started on good rolls. These people are completely clueless when it comes to that too. I haven't had a good sandwich since I moved. I couldn't imagine the horror a New Yorker would experience here.


    supervillain

  2. #2
    Incorrigible Wanderer - R.I.P.
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    How do you like your meat sliced?

    Standing by for the circumcision jokes in 5...4...3...2...1....

  3. #3
    Rollin' Stones
    Reputation: cydswipe's Avatar
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    That's nothing.

    When I first started in the meat business 14 years ago, I, being a "retard" as you put it, had a customer ask for "scotched" ham. Since our market only sold beer, I told her, "I'm sorry maam, we don't sell hard liquor." My manager about busted a gut, then explained to me what "scotched" meant.
    I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!

  4. #4
    Incorrigible Wanderer - R.I.P.
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    O.K., I'll bite--what does it mean?

  5. #5
    Rollin' Stones
    Reputation: cydswipe's Avatar
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    O.k.

    "scotched" means shaved.
    I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!

  6. #6
    scruffy nerf herder
    Reputation: funknuggets's Avatar
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    I like my deli meat so thin you cant even see it.
    so sayeth the funk....

    Chris

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "The RBR Lounge. You won't ever find a more wretched hive of scum and villany. We must be cautious."

  7. #7
    Rollin' Stones
    Reputation: cydswipe's Avatar
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    Dat's nuthin'

    Quote Originally Posted by funknuggets
    I like my deli meat so thin you cant even see it.
    I can slice meat so thin it only has one side and half the calories.
    Last edited by cydswipe; 07-10-2006 at 07:07 AM. Reason: L like to edit all the time, I mean, why not second guess yourself?
    I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!

  8. #8
    Shirtcocker
    Reputation: Bocephus Jones II's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cydswipe
    When I first started in the meat business 14 years ago, I, being a "retard" as you put it, had a customer ask for "scotched" ham. Since our market only sold beer, I told her, "I'm sorry maam, we don't sell hard liquor." My manager about busted a gut, then explained to me what "scotched" meant.
    never heard that term either. why don't you just say sliced?
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  9. #9
    Palm trees & sunshine!
    Reputation: KenB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cydswipe
    I can slice meat so thin it only has one side and half the calories.
    Now see, THAT'S what I'm talking about! Luncheon meats taste better, IMHO, when sliced very thin.

    Here in MD, "thin" is something about the thickness of CD.


    supervillain

  10. #10
    Rollin' Stones
    Reputation: cydswipe's Avatar
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    Proof.

    So thin it has only ONE side.
    Attached Images Attached Images   
    I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!

  11. #11
    Palm trees & sunshine!
    Reputation: KenB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cydswipe
    So thin it has only ONE side.
    LMAO!


    supervillain

  12. #12
    In need of sock puppet
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    Same story here in California. NO ONE knows how to slice deli meats or make a decent "itlalian" sandwich compared to what I grew up with in the Boston area.

    IRC, "scotched" is a bit of a derogatory way to describe getting more slices out of a pound of corned beef.

  13. #13
    In need of sock puppet
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    This is a sandwich. Sliced thin. Stoneham, MA. Anthony's Italian, on a bulkie roll, xxxtra hots.


  14. #14
    You're Not the Boss of Me
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    This is like a foreign language to me...

  15. #15
    In need of sock puppet
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtolleson
    This is like a foreign language to me...
    And to everywhere west of Pennsylvania and New England.

  16. #16
    Does your face hurt?
    Reputation: jdolan2's Avatar
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    Ain't it the truth!

    I've got the same problem with the idiot behind the deli counter at the local Kroger. If he had his way, you would get your meat in one slice when you asked for a pound. I grew up in NYC and NJ, but now live in south east MI. My number one b!tch is the pizza - number two is the lack of a good deli followed by the absence of a decent bagel. TC, that pic reminds me of a deli that was down the block from our house in NJ that made the best subs with primo cappicola, provalone and Genoa salami. Hot peppers are a must! I have not seen a sub that good in a long time. Oh geez! I can't stop looking at it! I just made it my wall paper! See how the the oil and vinegar glistens on the plastic wrap? Fine choice of beverage, too.

  17. #17
    Palm trees & sunshine!
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    Quote Originally Posted by thinkcooper
    This is a sandwich. Sliced thin. Stoneham, MA. Anthony's Italian, on a bulkie roll, xxxtra hots.
    Jeebus man... I just broke into tears and got a stiffy all at the same time.

    My GOD that looks good.


    supervillain

  18. #18
    Palm trees & sunshine!
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    Quote Originally Posted by jdolan2
    I've got the same problem with the idiot behind the deli counter at the local Kroger. If he had his way, you would get your meat in one slice when you asked for a pound. I grew up in NYC and NJ, but now live in south east MI. My number one b!tch is the pizza - number two is the lack of a good deli followed by the absence of a decent bagel. TC, that pic reminds me of a deli that was down the block from our house in NJ that made the best subs with primo cappicola, provalone and Genoa salami. Hot peppers are a must! I have not seen a sub that good in a long time. Oh geez! I can't stop looking at it! I just made it my wall paper! See how the the oil and vinegar glistens on the plastic wrap? Fine choice of beverage, too.

    And.... AND.... see how THIN the meat and cheese is sliced??!!? And the roll.... the ROLL. It's JUST as important as the rest.


    supervillain

  19. #19
    In need of sock puppet
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    Quote Originally Posted by KenB
    Jeebus man... I just broke into tears and got a stiffy all at the same time.

    My GOD that looks good.
    When I brought Mrs. Cooper back east the first time to meet the family, I had her accompany to Anthony's; it'd been about ten years since I'd last been in the place. As I walk in, it's crowded, I hear Anthony Jr. now in his late 30's, bellow out "Cooper, where you been?"

    Karen followed my lead, ordered the same exact sandwich, ate 1/2 of it, leaving me with a
    nice follow-up to my full sub. I have this picture on my cell phone so I can show the crappy sandwich shops out here a proper sub.

    These are the instructions:

    Nice bulkie roll, not too soft, not too chewy, crust that you don't have to struggle with for bite.

    Sliced mortadella
    Sliced genoa salami
    Sliced provolone
    all the above cut right from the salami onto the sandwich, as thin you want. Not presliced.

    Ick!

    Diced tomatoes
    Diced kosher pickles
    XXXtra hots.

    Oil, vinegar, salt, pepper.

    That's the classic eastie Italian sub.

    Sh!t. My dinner is ruined now, doesn't matter what it is, it ain't gonna compare...

  20. #20
    Game on, b*tches!
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    The ONLY thing that could make that better would be to replace the Coke with a nice, cold, brewski. Dat's heaven, fo sho.
    Originally Posted by tetter
    'Pain is temporary, and there might be beer at the finish line'

    "Karma is spread in lots of different ways. You know, like herpes."
    catzilla
    "I'm an American male. This is pizza. Leave me alone!"
    Alton Brown
    ohnoIaintsuckingnomore.blogspot.com



  21. #21
    GIMME MY BIKE!
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    I always preferred roast beef grindahs, myself. With mayo and hawts.

  22. #22
    In need of sock puppet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kram59
    The ONLY thing that could make that better would be to replace the Coke with a nice, cold, brewski. Dat's heaven, fo sho.
    True.

  23. #23
    banned
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    this is starting to sound like a seinfeld episode.

    that sub is the best looking sub I've ever seen. I probably wouldn't put pickles on it but I'd get some on the side. xxxtra hot fo sho.

    was that pic taken with a camera phone?

  24. #24
    Non Non Cyclist
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    That sub looks good...

    but for me nothing tops these two, in no particular order...

    Pastrami Reuben and Shrimp Po-Boy.
    *drools*
    Attached Images Attached Images   
    Move along...nothing to see here.

  25. #25
    In need of sock puppet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Friction_Shifter
    this is starting to sound like a seinfeld episode.

    that sub is the best looking sub I've ever seen. I probably wouldn't put pickles on it but I'd get some on the side. xxxtra hot fo sho.

    was that pic taken with a camera phone?
    No, it was taken with a TV shaver, or was it a toaster blender, or maybe a hair dryer waffle maker. Dang, I'm sorry, but I don't remember, it was too long ago to recall, like from when there were just cameras and just phones...

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