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  1. #1
    Old and Fixed, Moderator
    Reputation: Dave Hickey's Avatar
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    I just beat the crap out of a pear tree

    We have a pear tree near our house....It produces hundreds of barely edible pears...the rodents however love them.... Every night at this time of year, the rodents all some out and have a big party in Dave's tree...

    Using a 10 foot pole, I just the living snot out of tree so all the pears would fall......I spend the last hour picking up all the pears....I'm going to take them to a field tomorrow and dump 'em...

    I feel much better.....tell the rodents to go somewhere else and play
    Dave Hickey/ Fort Worth

    My 3Rensho Blog: http://vintage3rensholove.blogspot.com/

  2. #2
    It's complexicated
    Reputation: The Missus's Avatar
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    Why do you hate pear eating rodents?
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    Help Support Team Collin. Check out my website MellysArt.com. A portion of every print sold will go to 24 Hours of Booty. All of the proceeds from the note cards goes to support the fight against cancer.

    "Hill Repeats are easy. Chemo is hard." ~VaughnA, survivor 24 years and counting

  3. #3
    Old and Fixed, Moderator
    Reputation: Dave Hickey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Missus
    Why do you hate pear eating rodents?

    I'm sure I'll have nightmares tonight about big pear eating rodents
    Dave Hickey/ Fort Worth

    My 3Rensho Blog: http://vintage3rensholove.blogspot.com/

  4. #4
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: zmudshark's Avatar
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    I fix the kid's bikes in the hood. They pick up my rotting fruit.

    Win-win.

    They have the nightmares, not me.

    Have you no street urchins in your neighborhood?

  5. #5
    Old and Fixed, Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by zmudshark
    I fix the kid's bikes in the hood. They pick up my rotting fruit.

    Win-win.

    They have the nightmares, not me.

    Have you no street urchins in your neighborhood?
    Great thought....now you tell me....remind me next year at this time
    Dave Hickey/ Fort Worth

    My 3Rensho Blog: http://vintage3rensholove.blogspot.com/

  6. #6
    toomanybikes
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    You guys are doing it all wrong.

    If I just leave it on the ground, it gets nice and ripe and starts to ferment and then the bears come down and eat it all.

    They get drunk and fall asleep under the trees.

  7. #7
    It's complexicated
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    Drunk bears falling down are teh funneh. Drunk bears eating your face, not so much.
    .
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    Help Support Team Collin. Check out my website MellysArt.com. A portion of every print sold will go to 24 Hours of Booty. All of the proceeds from the note cards goes to support the fight against cancer.

    "Hill Repeats are easy. Chemo is hard." ~VaughnA, survivor 24 years and counting

  8. #8
    Old and Fixed, Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Missus
    Drunk bears falling down are teh funneh. Drunk bears eating your face, not so much.

    Jimmy Buffett did a song in the 70's called God's Own Drunk..

    It is one of the better drunk bears songs ever recorded....
    Dave Hickey/ Fort Worth

    My 3Rensho Blog: http://vintage3rensholove.blogspot.com/

  9. #9
    toomanybikes
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Missus
    Drunk bears falling down are teh funneh. Drunk bears eating your face, not so much.
    It is best to stay a long way away from the Orchards first thing in the AM, the bears can be cranky.

  10. #10
    Catbread.
    Reputation: jonnyonthespot's Avatar
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    Those rodents want their pears. They are going to start hitting your house with a 10 foot pole to get back at you. You'd better watch out.
    Tonsank!

  11. #11
    Misfit Toy
    Reputation: snapdragen's Avatar
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    Now what will they eat?
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    It's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone.

    Don't make me go all honey badger on your ass

  12. #12
    Zaphod Beeblebrox
    Reputation: DLMKA's Avatar
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    Did you know that if you beat the trunk of a pear tree with something hard enough to break the bark up some that the following year it will produce more fruit than you can imagine. Pear trees are notorious for growing really tall and never setting fruit, if you distress the tree but not enough to really hurt it you can make it set fruit aplenty.

  13. #13
    disgruntled pigskin fan
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    You'd better give that tree a hug.

  14. #14
    banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by DLMKA
    Did you know that if you beat the trunk of a pear tree with something hard enough to break the bark up some that the following year it will produce more fruit than you can imagine. Pear trees are notorious for growing really tall and never setting fruit, if you distress the tree but not enough to really hurt it you can make it set fruit aplenty.
    Works for apples, too. We used to have a really old (remnant of an 1870s orchard) apple tree in our back yard. It was two feet thick, had a few spindly branches and bore half a dozen little apples a year. I read about beating them, figured what could I lose and thumped it good with a 2x4. The next two years, until we moved, it pumped out apples like crazy.

  15. #15
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    toomany's backyard pool:


  16. #16
    toomanybikes
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    I'm thinking maybe I might need to close the blinds ...........

  17. #17
    Resident Dutchbag
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    Get yourself a still and make moonshine out of those pears.
    Originally posted by thatsmybush:
    I can only speak for my self, but if Fergie wanted to rub her lovely lady lumps on me, I could play the role of "human stripper pole."

  18. #18
    had it in the ear before
    Reputation: gutfiddle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rogger
    Get yourself a still and make moonshine out of those pears.
    winner1!!1!
    you might as well have gone to Taco Bell and had a Zima while dropping a blotter and snorting Tabasco. OMFG. ~ttug

  19. #19
    Anti-Hero
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Missus
    Drunk bears falling down are teh funneh. Drunk bears eating your face, not so much.
    Yeah- what happens if you get the "mean drunk" in your yard instead of the "happy drunk"?
    No turkey unless it's a club sandwich
    Brickhouse Blog

  20. #20
    Festina Lente'
    Reputation: BentChainring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cory
    Works for apples, too. We used to have a really old (remnant of an 1870s orchard) apple tree in our back yard. It was two feet thick, had a few spindly branches and bore half a dozen little apples a year. I read about beating them, figured what could I lose and thumped it good with a 2x4. The next two years, until we moved, it pumped out apples like crazy.

    WIll this work on a peach tree??? How hard and where do you hit it?
    "Late to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise." -Von Braun

  21. #21
    AM999's Liberal Facist
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    Quote Originally Posted by BentChainring
    WIll this work on a peach tree??? How hard and where do you hit it?


    Hehehe. You asked where to Hit It. Hehehe.
    Man. You are all stuped.
    ~RUFUSPHOTO

  22. #22
    Misfit Toy
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    Are we now calling Rocket Girl "Peach Tree"?
    It's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone.

    Don't make me go all honey badger on your ass

  23. #23
    waterproof*
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    His subsequent broadcasting work included twelve years as a panel member and then chairman of Gardeners' Question Time on BBC Radio 4, contributing to over six hundred consecutive editions.

  24. #24
    It's complexicated
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    Quote Originally Posted by snapdragen
    Now what will they eat?
    OMGWTFBBQ! It's an ROUS! Run!!!
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    Help Support Team Collin. Check out my website MellysArt.com. A portion of every print sold will go to 24 Hours of Booty. All of the proceeds from the note cards goes to support the fight against cancer.

    "Hill Repeats are easy. Chemo is hard." ~VaughnA, survivor 24 years and counting

  25. #25
    ze ze zen
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    pear trees take poops? didnt even know trees had a digestive system. must be geneticly motified.

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