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Thread: Love

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Love

    Yeah, I really don't know how to make this 'manly' so I'll just lay it out...

    A few years ago I was sitting at home minding my own business. My roommate was out and I was home alone. Someone knocks on the door. I knew I wasn't expecting anyone and didn't order pizza. Her friends only came around when she was home. I answered the door and drop-dead gorgeous woman was standing there.

    Turns out she was an exchange student that my roommate met on the internet on some site where you can find places to crash. From Germany, needed a place to crash and she picked our place. Was only supposed to stay a few days. Obviously it was a bit longer.

    I was already on my way out, but we bonded fast. We kept in touch and spent a lot of time together. Pretty much every free second we had.

    Started off innocent enough. Two really neat people getting to know each other well.

    I moved out. We started sleeping with each other. She moved out, we kept at it (practice makes perfect?).

    We were together for a touch over a year. She moved home. I found out she had a guy back home. I visited and met her family (her brother had been out here before and he and I are sort of close). We had amazing times. Before she left she told me she loves me. Everything was amazing until I came home. She wanted to work things out with dude. It didn't work out. We still talk. Every time we have to get off the phone she tells me she loves me.

    I don't have to tell you all that my heart is hers. It's pretty obvious. I just don't know how to read her. I would offer the rest of my life if I thought she'd take it. Unsure what to do next. I know there is more to this than I've typed, but man... talking is so much easier. Haha.

    Anyhow... I absolutely love her. I want to keep her by my side forever. What do I do? If you can't answer that I'll answer as many questions as I can.

    Thanks for reading this random ass, nonsensical rant.

    P.S. This is the first time I've been this honest with this story so please be nice.

  2. #2
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    How old are you?

  3. #3
    LWP
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    Dude, you can't just steal the script for American Pie and claim it as your life story.

  4. #4
    Anphaque II
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    America's greatest threat: Congressional liberal Democrats

    Crimes Against Humanity: The History of The Democrat Party

  5. #5
    We have met the enemy...
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    If I read this correctly, things have not worked out with the other guy.

    My $.02--find out what the requirements are for you to move to Germany, stat.

    Buy language tapes and start studying.

    Book a plane ticket and don't look back. Germany would be a fabulous place to live for a while even if the relationship does not last.
    "When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking."

    (Sir) Arthur Conan Doyle. Scientific American, January 18, 1896

  6. #6
    Anphaque II
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    Quote Originally Posted by paredown View Post
    If I read this correctly, things have not worked out with the other guy.

    My $.02--find out what the requirements are for you to move to Germany, stat.

    Buy language tapes and start studying.

    Book a plane ticket and don't look back. Germany would be a fabulous place to live for a while even if the relationship does not last.

    And poast pic of said ultra babe !
    America's greatest threat: Congressional liberal Democrats

    Crimes Against Humanity: The History of The Democrat Party

  7. #7
    smell my finger
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    Go after the girl for sure, what do you have to lose? Life only comes once and some people never really fall in love so that's my advise form a guy married 27yrs. Let's face it, you won't be happy until you try and make the relationship work. If you try and fail, well then move on, if not win win! Pics of said beauty might add to the story IMO.

  8. #8
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    I only read the whole poasts cause it started as
    "Dear Playboy"

    Seriously, I think she is keeping her options open if she wants to move to states. She tells you she loves you but always had the guy back home. I see your feelings are genuine but I am not sure about hers being on the same level
    Last edited by psycleridr; 04-11-2012 at 05:33 AM.

  9. #9
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    She does sound a little flighty (bad pun for a long-distance relationship!)

    That said, my first serious BF was in France, that lasted a few fun years.

  10. #10
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    What does whe say when you tell her what you've told us?A few yellow flags for me...- BF back home while she is with you.- The lack of any negitive charachteristics about her in your OP.IMOLen



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  11. #11
    hold my beer n watch this
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    European road trip. Be sure to get the safe word correct.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlynG View Post
    European road trip. Be sure to get the safe word correct.
    Fluggen!

    FLUGGEN!

  13. #13
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    2 thoughts -

    Have you expressed this to her in definitive terms?

    I can't form a true opinion until I see a picture. :-)

  14. #14
    Fecal indicator
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    go for it.

    it's better to get effed over by a hot chick than an average-looking one.
    eff all y'all...

  15. #15
    S2H
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    wut?
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    Women will mess you up. I suggest turning gay.

  16. #16
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Great idea Scotty! Gay men are drama-free!

  17. #17
    Fax Transport Specialist
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    I would go by her actions more than her words (exception: lies and failing to tell the whole truth). Some people just throw the L word around a lot.

  18. #18
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    IMO If you're somewhat close to her brother and feel able to, why not ask him his opinion. You don't have to spill your guts but you could give him a general picture and see if he thinks you would be headed for a fall. For example, he could verify that she has cut off the relationship with the old BF and make sure you're not a source for permanent residency in the U.S. You're investing a lot of emotional capital and you don't want to throw it away, I really like the suggestions that have you taking a European 'vacation'; face to face time could go a long way towards clarifying the situation. If you feel good then Close the Sale, it's a step into the unknown but hopefully you'll have a pretty good notion of your prospects. I've been married for 40 years which goes to show that I'm totally out to lunch. Good Luck

  19. #19
    Lemur-ing
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    Well being in a similar-ish situation as you are, I understand what you're going through to some extent, etc etc.

    My first things I want to say are....

    How long has she known her bf for? How long have they been together/apart for? Not that this is a bro-code or whatever, but, it usually means the guy who's known her longer has 'dibs' on her in that sense. Just because of familiarity, connections, longer shared history etc. Also, who 'broke it off'? As this would determine whether or not she's calling the shots or, she's waiting for him to come around etc.

    As far as what to do? Nothing we say will make any sense to you perhaps and you might even think, screw it, etc etc.

    But, as to what you can do- if you guys are good friends to begin with, well, determine how much you value that friendship first. Because, if that's the most important thing to you, then, you keep in touch, albeit maybe distance yourself a little to allow yourself and her some breathing room without any pressure of appearing like whatever you do is to win her over etc.

    However, keep things the same, in that, don't suddenly go from "hey! here's a funny story etc etc... " to, oh yeah, sure, erm... yeah.

    As sucky as this may sound, you might be more into her than she is into you, or at least, for you, she's the only one in your eyes so of course you'll be more attached, make decisions based on it etc whereas for her, not that it might not be the case, it's just that, she has a choice of the linguine or the fetuccini, so to speak.

    Take a step back, talk to her, and see if there's maybe a chance to see her in the US this summer or in Germany. Throw that idea out.

    I can't think of much more for now but, I hope some of what I said makes some sense or at least helps you think a little more in the right track. Good luck.
    Quote Originally Posted by tconrady
    If I can get some more tomorrow.... I thought it'd grow on me but I'm not feelin' it....wait..
    Allez United!

    Glory, Glory Man United, and the Reds go marching on!

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by black_box View Post
    I would go by her actions more than her words (exception: lies and failing to tell the whole truth). Some people just throw the L word around a lot.
    Especially Germans!

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unit 91 View Post
    Yeah, I really don't know how to make this 'manly' so I'll just lay it out...

    A few years ago I was sitting at home minding my own business. My roommate was out and I was home alone. Someone knocks on the door. I knew I wasn't expecting anyone and didn't order pizza. Her friends only came around when she was home. I answered the door and drop-dead gorgeous woman was standing there.

    Turns out she was an exchange student that my roommate met on the internet on some site where you can find places to crash. From Germany, needed a place to crash and she picked our place. Was only supposed to stay a few days. Obviously it was a bit longer.

    I was already on my way out, but we bonded fast. We kept in touch and spent a lot of time together. Pretty much every free second we had.

    Started off innocent enough. Two really neat people getting to know each other well.

    I moved out. We started sleeping with each other. She moved out, we kept at it (practice makes perfect?).

    We were together for a touch over a year. She moved home. I found out she had a guy back home. I visited and met her family (her brother had been out here before and he and I are sort of close). We had amazing times. Before she left she told me she loves me. Everything was amazing until I came home. She wanted to work things out with dude. It didn't work out. We still talk. Every time we have to get off the phone she tells me she loves me.

    I don't have to tell you all that my heart is hers. It's pretty obvious. I just don't know how to read her. I would offer the rest of my life if I thought she'd take it. Unsure what to do next. I know there is more to this than I've typed, but man... talking is so much easier. Haha.

    Anyhow... I absolutely love her. I want to keep her by my side forever. What do I do? If you can't answer that I'll answer as many questions as I can.

    Thanks for reading this random ass, nonsensical rant.

    P.S. This is the first time I've been this honest with this story so please be nice.
    Unless she dumps the dude and you 2 are within closer distances it'll never work. My wife and I had a long distance thing for a bit, but there was no other dude involved. Unless you're into threeways or dissapointment, I'd let her go and move on.
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  22. #22
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    "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife."

    Sage advice, my man.

  23. #23
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    "No other dude" that would be key. My French BF found another woman, and claimed that he loved her, but that things had been going so well with us, he didn't want to take chances.

    Told him that 1) you can't truly "love" two people, 2) she had the upper hand regardless, just being nearby and 3) that I would no longer refuse opportunities to date other people while he struggled to make up his mind.

    He ultimately "chose" me, but by then I figured it wasn't worth moving to a new country for him. Besides, we were both so young.

  24. #24
    is super good looking.
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    Everything here screams not worth it.
    dont be a safety net while she plays on that trapeze.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by BWWpat View Post
    Everything here screams not worth it.
    dont be a safety net while she plays on that trapeze.
    Don't be a Roy to her Siegfried...
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

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