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  1. #1
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    My Subie Got Rear-Ended the Other Day...

    ...and no, no Greek shepherd or Turkish prison film references are necessary. We all know the obvious jokes.

    I was JDA (just driving along) in the afternoon, stopped at a busy intersection (which is really any intersection here in the Silicon Valley).

    Suddenly, I hear someone yell, "Whoa whoa WHOAAA!!!!". Then, BAMMMM!!

    While at a dead stop, some idjit done rear-ended my Subaru. Hard. How do you hit an obvious, stationary object that's right in front of you? Derp.

    I look in the rear-view, and it's some teenage dude and a carful of his buddies, driving in daddy's Audi, apparently. I had just passed a high school letting out, so that's what I'll go with.

    I motion for him to pull over to the side. He doesn't go. Admittedly, there is a TON of traffic flying past. And he's a kid. And apparently not a very bright one.

    But still, what I should've done is just put on the hazards, get out of the car, walk over to his window, and exchange info... traffic be damned.

    However, it's the Silicon Valley, and I get an absolute CHORUS of loud honking from many other cars. And I'm still a bit disoriented with all this... how the eff did the guy hit me when I was *just sitting there*?

    So, instead, I just look at his license plate number, memorize it, drive through the intersection, make a u-turn as soon as I can, and figure I'll hook up with him after he makes a left turn at the intersection (he had gotten into the turn lane).

    Nope. I look for him, can't find 'im. I drive fast, I drive for awhile. Can't see 'im. He took off. Must've driven his daddy's Audi like he stole it. But, hey dummy. I have your license plate.

    So, I just drive on, slightly annoyed at the awful driving skills AND awful morality of the twit teenager who just assaulted my beloved Subie. And that I'm gonna have to call the police to track this dunce down.

    The corker?

    I pull into the restaurant I had been heading to anyway. I get out, expecting the worst. I wince, and look at my back bumper.

    No. damage. at. all. Really? It was one HELLUVA loud bang when he nailed my car. And I totally felt it. What gives?

    But, nope. Aside from some incredibly minor scratches (as in, you have to get down on your knees, get really close, and squint to see 'em), nope, nothing. Just rubbed on the bumper a bit to get rid of the black dust (from daddy's Audi's paint job, lol), and, done. An actual case of that 'buffing right out', as it were.

    Things learned, or rather, re-learned...

    Teenagers can't f**king drive worth a sh*t.

    Just say f-u to any and all amounts of angry traffic and get the other driver's info then and there, immediately, no matter what.

    Subaru Outback Sport rear bumpers are apparently made out of adamantium. Kid you not.

    Out.
    .
    Monk: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    EJD: Modern-day conservatism isn't conservatism, it's reaction rooted in deep pessimism that isn't in keeping with the American character.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind.


  2. #2
    tka
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    More than likely the energy absorber under the bumper cover was destroyed. They usually break from anything harder than a light bump. When you start seeing what looks like chunks of styrofoam coming out of your bumper cover you'll know it was damaged.

    One of the first rules of being in an accident is to look out for your own best interest. Who cares if everybody is honking at you? Make sure no one is injured in either vehicle and if the cars can move with make sure to tell the other driver what you plan on doing. By driving away without talking to the other driver they can claim you left the scene of the accident, not them.

  3. #3
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    Shoulda opened the door, grabbed your neck, and fallen out of the car, yelling "Ow, my spleen"......................Call the Cops.
    If your opinion differs from mine, ..........Too bad.
    .
    How would you like it if Hitler killed you
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    Buying parts to hang on your bike is always easier than getting fit.

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  4. #4
    Fake President
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    Quote Originally Posted by MR_GRUMPY View Post
    Shoulda opened the door, grabbed your neck, and fallen out of the car, yelling "Ow, my spleen"......................Call the Cops.
    Financially sound. But, would've been more fun to pop out of the car like this:




    .
    Monk: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    EJD: Modern-day conservatism isn't conservatism, it's reaction rooted in deep pessimism that isn't in keeping with the American character.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind.


  5. #5
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    Good to know, about the Subie bumper, that is. One more reason to love my Subie (Subie the III, that is.).

    Yeah, ya' shoulda' got the other driver's info, or basic intent to pull over, before moving to the side of the road.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by tka View Post
    More than likely the energy absorber under the bumper cover was destroyed. They usually break from anything harder than a light bump. When you start seeing what looks like chunks of styrofoam coming out of your bumper cover you'll know it was damaged.

    One of the first rules of being in an accident is to look out for your own best interest. Who cares if everybody is honking at you? Make sure no one is injured in either vehicle and if the cars can move with make sure to tell the other driver what you plan on doing. By driving away without talking to the other driver they can claim you left the scene of the accident, not them.
    This...

  7. #7
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    A long and semi pointless story about hitting it from the back:

    Round about the end of last July, I got plowed in the rear.

    By a young lady.

    She was remarkably surprised I didn't do the usual Wilmington rolling stop, and popped me but good.

    We pulled over, decided to go to a parking lot, and while I was looking at the wee bit of damage, I saw her on the phone to somebody, asking for guidance. I didn't have time for a long and drawn out ordeal, and could feel the impatience rising. I had stuff to do.

    While we were exchanging information, I looked again at this tiny wrinkle in my econobox, and decided to let it go.

    I said look, I ain't got time for this, go and sin no more. Be careful.

    And she seemed pretty glad. I was just glad I didn't have the next 90 minutes consumed with a bunch of bs.

    And I don't like this car anyhow.

    Quote Originally Posted by systemshock
    Things learned, or rather, re-learned...

    Teenagers can't f**king drive worth a sh*t.
    Neither can young twentysomethings taking their kid sister somewhere.

  8. #8
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    My only thing here is that the kid now learns a lesson that he can run away from being a responsible citizen. You should still report the incident and at least his family is notified. A hassle I know, but if my kid did that I would want to know.

    Glad the car is okay though.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by tka View Post
    More than likely the energy absorber under the bumper cover was destroyed. They usually break from anything harder than a light bump. When you start seeing what looks like chunks of styrofoam coming out of your bumper cover you'll know it was damaged.
    Went and checked... no signs of anything coming out of my bumper.
    Knock on wood.


    Quote Originally Posted by tka
    One of the first rules of being in an accident is to look out for your own best interest. Who cares if everybody is honking at you? Make sure no one is injured in either vehicle and if the cars can move with make sure to tell the other driver what you plan on doing. By driving away without talking to the other driver they can claim you left the scene of the accident, not them.
    Gosh, ya think?:


    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock
    Things learned, or rather, re-learned...

    ...just say f-u to any and all amounts of angry traffic and get the other driver's info then and there, immediately, no matter what.
    Monk: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    EJD: Modern-day conservatism isn't conservatism, it's reaction rooted in deep pessimism that isn't in keeping with the American character.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind.


  10. #10
    hfc
    hfc is online now
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    My Subie went down in 2006. Waiting at left turn signal to turn onto a busy 6 lane suburban (Memphis) road at rush hour. Left turn signal turns green, and as I’m turning onto the road, I get plowed on my passenger side by a red light runner, totaling the car. Memphis has traffic cops, not real cops, that respond to this stuff and the guy tells the cop the light was yellow. Cop doesn’t try to figure out how, if light was green/yellow, I made it through 4-5 lanes of rush hour traffic without causing a disturbance before I’m hit and gives us both tickets. I have to go to court to convince someone smarter. Insurance company tried but couldn’t recover the deductible from the dooshbag.

    Anyway, glad you and the Subie are OK.

  11. #11
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    I was rear-ended at a stoplight while driving my company van a few months ago.
    It was such a light tap that it felt like I forgot to put in the clutch when I came to a stop-then I realized the van was an automatic, you dope! Not a mark on my bumper.

    It's a company vehicle so I HAVE to call the police. I get out of the car and it's daddy's little girl from the local private college driving her Bimmer. I ask if she's okay then tell her to pull in the parking lot while we wait for the police. All during the wait, she's pinchin'/tappin'/swipin' on her phone, so I'm guessing that's what she was doing when she doink'd me.

  12. #12
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    Yer bumper is shot. > $1,000

    there's probably enough dented styrofoam and broken faster clips under there to fill a 55 gallon drum.
    "That pretty much sums it up. I'm 43 and my max is ~178-180. If that HR chart was mine or Froome's, we'd be on the verge of death. But for you it probably looks like a normal workout." -TLG

    LOLOLOL

  13. #13
    Sooper Dooper Moderator!
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    He had to send out that one last text.

  14. #14
    Fake President
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    Quote Originally Posted by il sogno View Post
    He had to send out that one last text.
    This. More than likely.
    .

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock View Post
    ..

    Subaru Outback Sport rear bumpers are apparently made out of adamantium. Kid you not.

    Out.
    .
    Actually, Luv is what makes a Subaru a Subaru. It's a proprietary alloy and it's organic!

  16. #16
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    My stupid nephew rear ended 2 different cars at the same place, in a years period. It was a stop sign at the end of an exit, so where the lane merges. YES people will sometimes completely stop for stop signs !. Numbnut !.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock View Post
    I was JDA (just driving along) in the afternoon, stopped at a busy intersection (which is really any intersection here in the Silicon Valley).
    .
    NNC here. Ah, Silicon Valley. Early this year I was riding up to a T-intersection on a residential street. I was on the stem of the T, and I had a stop sign. I moved out to the middle of my lane because I intended to turn left. A big SUV was approaching the T from the right, and I slowed a bunch to let it clear the intersection before I got there. It turned left onto my street, and, boy, was it ever turning sharply … gosh, it was going to cut right across my lane … WTF, it was turning straight at me! The final realization came too late for me to swerve aside. I could only jump off my bike, drop it on the pavement, and get the hell out of the way. The SUV ran up onto my front wheel before it stopped. I don’t know what part of my terrified face and shouted obscenity hadn’t registered with the driver. Maybe my white jersey hid me against the asphalt?

    Anyhow, the SUV pulled over to the side, and here is where stereotypes begin to loom. The driver climbed out, turned out to be a petite Asian woman who spoke little English, other than enough to tell me she had only been in the US for a few months. Upshot was that she agreed to pay for a new wheel, and she did mail me a check. I admit I was too flustered to get the police involved the way I should have done.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwiftSolo View Post
    Actually, Luv is what makes a Subaru a Subaru. It's a proprietary alloy and it's organic!
    Plus, its carbon emissions are green.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwiftSolo View Post
    Actually, Luv is what makes a Subaru a Subaru. It's a proprietary alloy and it's organic!
    No. 'Luv' is what makes little Subarus. Like Imprezas.

    You see, when two Outbacks love each other very, very much...
    .
    .
    Monk: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    EJD: Modern-day conservatism isn't conservatism, it's reaction rooted in deep pessimism that isn't in keeping with the American character.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind.


  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock View Post
    No. 'Luv' is what makes little Subarus. Like Imprezas.

    You see, when two Outbacks love each other very, very much...
    .
    .
    I don't think that's correct. Subaru Outbacks, aka Lezbaroos, cannot reproduce regardless of how much Luv.

  21. #21
    Russian Troll Farmer
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    The Luv was a small pickup that Chevrolet used to sell...
    "L'enfer, c'est les autres"

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve98501 View Post
    I don't think that's correct. Subaru Outbacks, aka Lezbaroos, cannot reproduce regardless of how much Luv.
    You never heard of cartificial insubienation?

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by beeristasty View Post
    You never heard of cartificial insubienation?
    Someone give that post a "like!"

  24. #24
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    Ah yes... rear ending, Subarus, and ignorant drivers. I've had all 3 this year, but not all in the same incident.

    I was pulling out of a gas station/convenience store in my Nissan, sitting in the line when an airport shuttle backs out and right into the corner of my bumper. I get out of the car, to have a talk with the nice lady. To which here's the 5 sentences she tells me in order

    "That dent was already there, I saw it when I backed up"
    She saw my car and still backed into me? I disagreed and asked for her insurance info, the then responds with
    "You're just trying to commit insurance fraud. How was I able to hit you at 0 miles per hour?"
    Not phased, I asked her for her insurance information, her response was
    "You know, I call that a Austin bump, that will pop right out with dry ice"
    I didn't care for her advice and just asked for her insurance information again, to which she begrudgingly hands it over and says
    "Fine, if you want my insurance information, I want yours too"
    Fine by me, we exchange that, and I think that's when she finally realized I was not just calling her bluff, her final response was
    "You know, this is my sole income, and I can lose my job over this"

    The ignorance of some people is just unbelievable.

    As for the Subaru part of the discussion, I own a Subaru (my first and very much a love hate relationship), the previous owner of it must have driven by braille since both the front and rear bumpers are scratched and scraped to hell and the front bumper appears to be touched up with wite-out. All touch-ups were extremely blotchy, with brush strokes, and the color was way off.

  25. #25
    Russian Troll Farmer
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    Your post reminds me of an accident I was involved in some 30+ years ago; i was driving a rotted-out 1970 Ford Maverick on a snowy weekend night. Stopped at a light, some guy with a newer mid-sized car rear-ends me. When we got out, I could smell the alcohol on his breath from 20' away. The damage was minor, but noticeable to both cars.

    The guy pulls out his wallet, and offers "Maybe we can settle this ourselves-how much do you want?". I responded, "How much do you HAVE?" He empties out his wallet with $450. I take it, and drive away. The entire car only cost me $300.
    "L'enfer, c'est les autres"

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