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  1. #1
    Sticky Valentine
    Reputation: JoeDaddio's Avatar
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    Transporter 3 (with spoilers)

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    ....

    .


    I was so pumped for this movie. The first one was awesome. The second one was awesome. The third one? Pppppffft. Kind of lame.

    There were some cool fight/chase scenes, but the thing I liked about this series was that it was always way over the top. This one was a little over the top, but I mean... c'mon... in the second one he barrel rolled his car off a jump and placed it just right so that an overhead crane picked the bomb off the bottom of his car. Awesome!!

    In this one they just wanted to show off Statham's hot bod while they kept the hot Eastern European chick covered up the entire time. Okay, fine... whatever. But at least blow some more **** up to even it out.

    Only one car went off a cliff in this movie. Just one. And there were only like three explosions. And it was a friggin love story! Add that to the mediocre car chases that were too short which consisted of cars driving next to each other and you have one lame movie.

    I expected more. I'm way disappointed.

    When i go to see a movie like Transporter, I don't expect quality acting. I don't expect a good story. I don't expect to learn anything. I expect to watch a Statham punch a lot of people in the throat, for cars to fly off cliffs and explode, for impossible car tricks, and BADASS car chases.

    This movie tried to substitute story (a love story, at that) for explosions when doing so goes against the laws of nature. You can always substitute explosions, nudity and car chases for story when you're working with a series like this. But it does not work the other way. You cannot waste perfectly god film of a shirtless Statham standing in a field holding a chick when you could be spending that time throat punching, smashing cars or blowing stuff up.



    joe
    'They say gold paint on the palace gates comes from the teeth of pensioners
    They're so tired of shooting protest singers that they hardly mention us
    While fountains fill with second-hand perfume and sodden trading stamps
    They'll hang the bullies and the louts that dampen down the day" - EC

  2. #2
    Lemur-ing
    Reputation: uzziefly's Avatar
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    A few questions:

    Was the chick hot enuff to watch it?

    Why do you mention Statham has a hot bod? Nttawwt.

    Do they show the chick nekkid in a special version?

    That is all.
    Quote Originally Posted by tconrady
    If I can get some more tomorrow.... I thought it'd grow on me but I'm not feelin' it....wait..
    Allez United!

    Glory, Glory Man United, and the Reds go marching on!

  3. #3
    Sticky Valentine
    Reputation: JoeDaddio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uzziefly
    A few questions:

    Was the chick hot enuff to watch it?

    Why do you mention Statham has a hot bod? Nttawwt.

    Do they show the chick nekkid in a special version?

    That is all.

    1) meh. If you like skinny chicks who wear too much makeup.

    2) Statham totally has a hot bod. I'm not gay, but if I had a few glasses of wine and Statham was coming on to me, I'd probably think about it.




    joe
    'They say gold paint on the palace gates comes from the teeth of pensioners
    They're so tired of shooting protest singers that they hardly mention us
    While fountains fill with second-hand perfume and sodden trading stamps
    They'll hang the bullies and the louts that dampen down the day" - EC

  4. #4
    Lemur-ing
    Reputation: uzziefly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoeDaddio
    1) meh. If you like skinny chicks who wear too much makeup.

    2) Statham totally has a hot bod. I'm not gay, but if I had a few glasses of wine and Statham was coming on to me, I'd probably think about it.




    joe
    Why is there a 'bulge' in the left third of the picture?
    Quote Originally Posted by tconrady
    If I can get some more tomorrow.... I thought it'd grow on me but I'm not feelin' it....wait..
    Allez United!

    Glory, Glory Man United, and the Reds go marching on!

  5. #5
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: nrs-air's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uzziefly
    Why is there a 'bulge' in the left third of the picture?
    It's THAT big.
    The following statement is true.
    The above statement is false.

  6. #6
    waterproof*
    Reputation: Creakyknees's Avatar
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    Natalya Rudakova is too hot.

    * posted by Creakybot 2013 all rights reserved.
    * not actually waterproof.

  7. #7
    Lemur-ing
    Reputation: uzziefly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creakyknees
    Natalya Rudakova is too hot.

    Honestly, mehhh. She's not ugly for sure, but just normal looking IMHO.
    Quote Originally Posted by tconrady
    If I can get some more tomorrow.... I thought it'd grow on me but I'm not feelin' it....wait..
    Allez United!

    Glory, Glory Man United, and the Reds go marching on!

  8. #8
    waterproof*
    Reputation: Creakyknees's Avatar
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    wow... I need to hang out with Uzzie
    * posted by Creakybot 2013 all rights reserved.
    * not actually waterproof.

  9. #9
    Sticky Valentine
    Reputation: JoeDaddio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creakyknees
    wow... I need to hang out with Uzzie

    She looks better there. But in the movie she had really whoorish makeup on. But she has a gigantic looking jaw in that picture you posted.


    joe
    'They say gold paint on the palace gates comes from the teeth of pensioners
    They're so tired of shooting protest singers that they hardly mention us
    While fountains fill with second-hand perfume and sodden trading stamps
    They'll hang the bullies and the louts that dampen down the day" - EC

  10. #10
    10-81
    Reputation: fireplug's Avatar
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    Dissappointing movie review...really was looking forward for the third one. I guess I will wait to rent it.

  11. #11
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: JaeP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uzziefly
    Honestly, mehhh. She's not ugly for sure, but just normal looking IMHO.
    Meh, vegetable spread face. She's not as hot as Shu Qi from the first Transporter!

    Check out the film "So Close" too.
    You'd think we were here for something other than fun. - Ishmael

  12. #12
    my legs hurt
    Reputation: beantownbiker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creakyknees
    Natalya Rudakova is too hot.


    wow, that pic makes her look just like an ex of mine. She was argentine and irish, looked very similar. she was a kick boxer, I cheated on her and she punched me, hard....i deserved it, but she was really hot...like this chick.
    I THINK PERHAPS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED "LIVING."

    http://makeitsonumber1.blogspot.com/

  13. #13
    Anti-Hero
    Reputation: Andrea138's Avatar
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    If you put a red wig on Lemonlime, he'd look just like her!
    No turkey unless it's a club sandwich
    Brickhouse Blog

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