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  1. #1
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Unrequited manlove... not a love story.

    first off. hello loungers, I have been at arms length for a bit, but I figured I would jump back into the fold.

    second... no, the J's manlove is not what I am talking about. His manlove is like a grizzly bear hug that let's you know he isn't a casual friend and if things got ugly, he would have your back.

    what I am talking about it is a strange phenomenon that seems to rear its ugly head on a far more frequent basis than what I would consider "normal". Coupled with what can only be described as a completely inept gaydar... I find myself being targeted for potential manlove. NTTAWWT... I don't care which team you play for... I just don't understand how I am sending any mixed signals. I like girls... er women. A Lot... I mean probably more than the average dude. Perhaps clinically too much, but just short of needing chemical restraint.

    any suggestions as to the protocol when dealing with unrequited manlove?
    Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I have ever met.

  2. #2
    RoadBikeReview's Member
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    Talk about how hot that girl across the street is or get a gf and drape her on your arm. Problem solved!
    "It's hard to tell the poison from the cure, so enjoy the disease."
    -Mohair_Chair

  3. #3
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by estone2
    Talk about how hot that girl across the street is or get a gf and drape her on your arm. Problem solved!
    been married for 10 years... have 3 kids. And I am always one to point out the hotties.
    Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I have ever met.

  4. #4
    Banned forever.....or not
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    Maybe he knows something that you don't.

    Stop dressing up in women's clothes.

    Stop telling him that you think that he's HOT.
    If your opinion differs from mine, ..........Too bad.
    .
    How would you like it if Hitler killed you
    Dogbert.

    I>U

    Buying parts to hang on your bike is always easier than getting fit.

    If you feel wimpy and weak, get out and train more, ya wee lassie!

    If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today!

  5. #5
    Bikespace member
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    a few suggestions:
    stop licking your lips when you make eye contact.
    quit wearing your wife's "I'm with him" t-shirt
    stop listening to Elton John and George Michael in your cubbie

    that might help. but it sounds like you're a marked man and get as many free drinks out of it, but not too many. you know how men can be.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesse D Smith
    You can always tell the guy that started his day with a proper shave versus the guy who started his day slappin' it to internet porn.

  6. #6
    Gruntled
    Reputation: Jim Nazium's Avatar
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    Quit fighting it and give in. Denial only makes it worse.
    It's funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.

  7. #7
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by moschika
    a few suggestions:
    stop licking your lips when you make eye contact.
    quit wearing your wife's "I'm with him" t-shirt
    stop listening to Elton John and George Michael in your cubbie

    that might help. but it sounds like you're a marked man and get as many free drinks out of it, but not too many. you know how men can be.
    no Elton? that seems extreme. At one point he offered to buy the beer if we wanted to go hang out at his house instead of stay at the pub. That...my friends.... was uncomfortable moment number 8 or 9 for the evening.
    Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I have ever met.

  8. #8
    Large Suburban Male
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    Being a hetero dude, I vurped at Unrequited manlove.

    HandfulRod, it sounds like you should be flattered.
    “The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.”
    William Gibson

  9. #9
    jaded bitter joy crusher
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    Quote Originally Posted by handsomerob
    any suggestions as to the protocol when dealing with unrequited manlove?
    "It's not you, it's me."
    Fredke commented in your thread. You won't believe what happens next!

  10. #10
    had it in the ear before
    Reputation: gutfiddle's Avatar
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    had a large bald "gentleman" w/ burly goatie and sturgis shirt buy me a beer at the bar last night and put his hand on my shoulder when he introduced hisself. I then proceeded to make out w/ my wife even more than usual. Harley types are gay more often than metrosexuals in my neck of the woods.
    you might as well have gone to Taco Bell and had a Zima while dropping a blotter and snorting Tabasco. OMFG. ~ttug

  11. #11
    We're no better than mice
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    Quote Originally Posted by handsomerob
    first off.
    Be honest, do these shoes make me look phat?




























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    Does he really ride a tReK?

  12. #12
    MB1
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    Quote Originally Posted by handsomerob
    no Elton? that seems extreme. At one point he offered to buy the beer if we wanted to go hang out at his house instead of stay at the pub. That...my friends.... was uncomfortable moment number 8 or 9 for the evening.
    I'm thinking that hanging out in the pub may not be the ideal evening for a married father of 3........

    BTW just be flattered with the attention, not much else you can do.
    Quote Originally Posted by the_dude
    these are better than i was expecting, and my expectations were already rather high.

  13. #13
    Rep *****.
    Reputation: firstrax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by handsomerob

    any suggestions as to the protocol when dealing with unrequited manlove?
    Stop saying "fabulous" so much.

  14. #14
    We're no better than mice
    Reputation: EverydayRide's Avatar
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    Who Cares

    Quote Originally Posted by firstrax
    Stop saying "fabulous" so much.


    And the original question remains?

    Who cares.

    Life is short.














    ______________________________________________
    If a Trek fell over by itself in the woods would there be a noise? : 1 Minute Ago at 09:21 AM.
    Last edited by EverydayRide; 09-06-2009 at 07:21 AM.

  15. #15
    Fat and slow but trying
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    Hop in the sack with one of the guys hitting on you, be really bad at it, and once the word gets out you'll never get hit on again.

    Or you'll really like it. Either way, problem solved.

  16. #16
    RoadBikeReview's Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by handsomerob
    been married for 10 years... have 3 kids. And I am always one to point out the hotties.
    Um ok I thought you were married. Hm um talk about your wife.
    "It's hard to tell the poison from the cure, so enjoy the disease."
    -Mohair_Chair

  17. #17
    We're no better than mice
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    Omg....

    Quote Originally Posted by estone2
    Um ok I thought you were married. Hm um talk about your wife.
    Photos of the children.

    Wedding ring.

    Dark blue manly G-thong?

    Lead, don't follow on the disco floor?

    Start every conversation off with, "I should call the baby sitter and see if the children are okay."

  18. #18
    Grey Manrod
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  19. #19
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brick Tamland
    well, I do like Coldplay.

    couple more fun details...
    1.) last week my wife and I went on a double date with him and her friend from high school (who just got divorced from my friend from high school... because, wait for it.... hmm, let's say he decided he no longer preferred women.)

    2.) for MB1, since when can a guy not go have a beer after work on Friday at the pub? FYI... it has been months since the last time I had a post work brew.

    3.) I always wear my ring and talk about my wife and kids... and boobs. Maybe not in that exact order.
    Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I have ever met.

  20. #20
    Formosan Cyclocross
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    Take the offer as a compliment... without the excitement of possibility that you'd experience if it were a woman.

    Hey, at least someone thinks you're hot.

  21. #21
    Devoid of all flim-flam
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    A shrug and a "Sorry, man, I'm not gay" has always worked for me.
    Mapie is a conventional looking former Hollywood bon viveur, now leading a quiet life in a house made of wood by an isolated beach. He has cultivated a taste for culture, and is a celebrated raconteur amongst his local associates, who are artists, actors, and other leftfield/eccentric types. I imagine he has a telescope, and an unusual sculpture outside his front door. He is also a beach comber. The Rydster.

  22. #22
    All I wanted was a Pepsi!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mapei
    A shrug and a "Sorry, man, I'm not gay" has always worked for me.
    That's not what you told me!!
    "If you have the guts to be yourself, other people'll pay your price." - Rabbit Angstrom

  23. #23
    What'd I do?
    Reputation: StageHand's Avatar
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    Stop introducing yourself as "Handsome Rob" in real life.

  24. #24
    What the what???
    Reputation: Opus51569's Avatar
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    Is it possible the fact that you go out of your way to demonstrate which team you play for could be interpreted as over-compensating. Or is it........

    OMG, I'm getting a little chub as I'm typing this to you!!!! What does that mean????
    Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. - MLK

  25. #25
    Formosan Cyclocross
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    Maybe watch Kinds In The Hall's Brain Candy. Maybe it'll give you some ideas...

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