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  1. #1
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    useful Simpsons quotes

    Baffle people at work and parties by working these in:

    Marge: When did we become the bottom rung of society?
    Homer: I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  2. #2
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Dr. Nick Riviera: Inflammable means flammable? What a country!
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  3. #3
    disgruntled pigskin fan
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    Butter your bacon, boy!

  4. #4
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Ah beer. The cause of, and solution to all of life's problems.

  5. #5
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Doh ...

    Mmmmm .... donuts!

  6. #6
    Menace to Society
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    Mr. Burns


    "EXXXXXXCCCCCCCELENT! ! ! ! "

  7. #7
    RIP Funny Penguin
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    The goggles...they do nothing!
    In the time of battle you don't rise to the occasion you resort to the level of your conditioning...

  8. #8
    RIP Funny Penguin
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    “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?”
    “Yes” “Bacon?”
    “Yes Dad” Ham?”
    “Dad all those meats come from the same animal”

    “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!”
    In the time of battle you don't rise to the occasion you resort to the level of your conditioning...

  9. #9
    Just Plain Bitter
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    You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Catzilla;
    Like, if "troubling" were a level seven worry, "concerning" would be a six, with "frightening" being an eight and "unexplained genital rash" being a nine.

    2007 Pegoretti Duende Campy SR 11 Campagnolo Neutron
    2009 Look 586 Campy SR 11 HED Ardennes/HED Jet 6
    2012 Raliegh Roper - Stock for now

  10. #10
    Still waiting......
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    Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
    AKA - Go Dot

  11. #11
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Willie: [acid rain is falling; singing] I'm singin' in the rain! Just singin' in the rain! What a glorious feeling -- argh! [collapses on the ground, as his overalls dissolve] It burns like a Glasgow bikini wax!
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  12. #12
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Homer: Canada? Why should we leave America to visit America Junior?
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  13. #13
    LWP
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    For some reason all of my favorites seem to come from the same character...

    Patty: Calm down everybody. Here's a movie of us.
    Moe: Wow, even I ain't hoping for porn.


    Moe: I was the happiest guy in the world but fate likes to play a little game called Up Yours, Moe.


    Moe: Fate gave me an awful dilemma... should I rob the guy or rob him and kill him?


    Moe: We all have that voice in our head telling us to kill. Ya just gotta tune it out. I've been working on the railroad, all the live-long day. Ah, that did it.


    Moe: Homer stole our rock performers! That fat, dumb and bald guy sure plays some real hardball.


    Moe: Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation but I managed to shoot him in the spine. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp.


    Moe: He may have come up with the recipe but I came up with the idea of charging $6.95 for it.
    Crusty old farts are people too.
    - 10ae1203

  14. #14
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Marge: That was very sweet of the Queen, letting you go in exchange for taking Madonna back to America.
    Madonna[in a horrible fake English accent]: I'm telling you! I'm English!
    Marge: English women don't pump gas naked!
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  15. #15
    Just Plain Bitter
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    Homer: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Catzilla;
    Like, if "troubling" were a level seven worry, "concerning" would be a six, with "frightening" being an eight and "unexplained genital rash" being a nine.

    2007 Pegoretti Duende Campy SR 11 Campagnolo Neutron
    2009 Look 586 Campy SR 11 HED Ardennes/HED Jet 6
    2012 Raliegh Roper - Stock for now

  16. #16
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Warden: So, why do you want to be a guard here?
    Homer: I believe the children are the future... Unless we stop them now!
    Warden: Welcome aboard. (Holds a nightstick) This ends for beatin. This ends for holdin.
    Homer: When does training start?
    Warden: It just finished.
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  17. #17
    Beetpull DeLite
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    This tastes like Grandma!

  18. #18
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Mr. Burns is my favorite, here are a few:

    Mr. Burns: You're fired.
    Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off of you.
    Mr. Burns: You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.

    ---
    Mr. Burns: I'm looking for something in an attack dog. One who likes the sweet gamey tang of human flesh. Hmmm, why here's the fellow ... Wiry, fast, firm, proud buttocks. Reminds me of me.
    -----
    Mr. Burns: What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
    Fighting C ystic F ibrosis with C arbon F iber
    Learn More about CF here: www.cff.org

  19. #19
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Marge: Whatever happened to please and thank you?
    Homer: I think they killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals.
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  20. #20
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Treehouse of Horror FTW!

    [Homer eats two German guys at an Oktoberfest]
    German Guy: What did we Germans do to deserve this?
    [Other German stares at him]
    German Guy: Oh, yeah.
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  21. #21
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Bart: Utah? Home of America's most powerful weirdoes!
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  22. #22
    RIP Funny Penguin
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirchyGirchy
    This tastes like Grandma!
    Other useful Ralphisms.

    "Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers"

    "When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!"

    "That's where I saw the leprechaun...he told me to burn things."
    In the time of battle you don't rise to the occasion you resort to the level of your conditioning...

  23. #23
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    Dental Hygienist: Here's a free tooth-brush! Keep those teeth clean! [handing Bart a bag]
    Bart: So you're saying I should do your job, for you, at home, for free? You wish! [Throws the bag in the trash can]
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

  24. #24
    More cowbell!
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    Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.
    DFL > DNF > DNS

  25. #25
    flinty-eyed moderator
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    (When a hitchhiker couple make out in the back of his car)
    Homer: Knock it off! How dare you expose my children to your tender feelings! Bart, don't you dare take your eyes off that game boy!
    Bart: Yes, sir. (Plays a video game about killing popular cereal mascots) I'm cuckoo for killing stuff!
    Homer: Video games: The reason this generation of Americans is the best ever.
    Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.

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