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  1. #1
    Shirtcocker
    Reputation: Bocephus Jones II's Avatar
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    What if a Wooly Mammoth chases you?

    How do I protect myself from prehistoric creatures when I'm out riding my bike?
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  2. #2
    waterproof*
    Reputation: Creakyknees's Avatar
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    There's a club team here in TX called the Wooly Mammoths, and yes I have been chased by more than one. And caught. My defense was to get on their wheels and sit in.

    .
    * posted by Creakybot 2013 all rights reserved.
    * not actually waterproof.

  3. #3
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: jgrantv10's Avatar
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    Give it a squirt from your water bottle. Works for me every time.

  4. #4
    Yo no fui.
    Reputation: Pablo's Avatar
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    Does the wooly mammoth have tusks or is it a Snufflupagus?
    "It is better to conquer yourself, than to win a thousand battles." -Dhammapada

    "Fact is only what you believe; fact and fiction work as a team." Jack Johnson

    "A true cyclist sometimes has to bite the dust before he can reach the stars.” Laurent Fignon

  5. #5
    Grey Manrod
    Reputation: Brick Tamland's Avatar
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    Link, please.

  6. #6
    Squirrel Hunter
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    Ice Age

    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    How do I protect myself from prehistoric creatures when I'm out riding my bike?
    Ride hard for a little while and when the next ice age comes they will become extinct again.
    Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity.

  7. #7
    Back from the dead
    Reputation: mohair_chair's Avatar
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    Head for the nearest tar pit. Stand in front of it and jump out of the way at the last moment. It works every time. Wooly Mammoths are not very agile.

  8. #8
    Rep *****.
    Reputation: firstrax's Avatar
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    If you can get enough pigeons to fly under it he will lose traction and you can escape.

  9. #9
    RoadBikeReview Member
    Reputation: Uprwstsdr's Avatar
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    That's easy. Throw a mouse at them. Everyone knows that pachyderms are afraid of mice.

  10. #10
    Born from Jorts®
    Reputation: Hollywood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    How do I protect myself from prehistoric creatures when I'm out riding my bike?
    n/a

    29ers roll faster.

  11. #11
    gazing from the shadows
    Reputation: QuiQuaeQuod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    How do I protect myself from prehistoric creatures when I'm out riding my bike?
    You need to take a new perspective. Don't think "woolly mammoth", think "dinner". The solution is obvious then:
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails What if a Wooly Mammoth chases you?-ribs2.jpg  
    .
    Stout beers under trees, please.

  12. #12
    Shirtcocker
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood
    n/a

    29ers roll faster.
    I get mine tomorrow! Woo Hoo!

    //having them swap the 16T for a 20T...
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  13. #13
    waterproof*
    Reputation: Creakyknees's Avatar
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    are you on a conveyor belt?

    .
    * posted by Creakybot 2013 all rights reserved.
    * not actually waterproof.

  14. #14
    Shirtcocker
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creakyknees
    are you on a conveyor belt?

    .
    No, but I'm in the back of a truck with a bunch of pigeons.
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  15. #15
    Yo no fui.
    Reputation: Pablo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    I get mine tomorrow! Woo Hoo!

    //having them swap the 16T for a 20T...
    What kind?

    It may be hard to outsprint a mammoth in a 20.
    "It is better to conquer yourself, than to win a thousand battles." -Dhammapada

    "Fact is only what you believe; fact and fiction work as a team." Jack Johnson

    "A true cyclist sometimes has to bite the dust before he can reach the stars.” Laurent Fignon

  16. #16
    Shirtcocker
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pablo
    What kind?

    It may be hard to outsprint a mammoth in a 20.
    Redline Monocog...bargain basement, but I can upgrade as needed.

    //I can spin at 200rpm...I'm Sprint Nick.
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  17. #17
    Yo no fui.
    Reputation: Pablo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    Redline Monocog...bargain basement, but I can upgrade as needed.

    //I can spin at 200rpm...I'm Sprint Nick.
    When's the RBR 29er Mammoth Ride in Ned gonna be?
    "It is better to conquer yourself, than to win a thousand battles." -Dhammapada

    "Fact is only what you believe; fact and fiction work as a team." Jack Johnson

    "A true cyclist sometimes has to bite the dust before he can reach the stars.” Laurent Fignon

  18. #18
    Shirtcocker
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pablo
    When's the RBR 29er Mammoth Ride in Ned gonna be?
    Dunno...I'm gonna do some easy stuff like Heil Ranch to test it out before tackling anthing too hairy. Haven't ridden without suspension for a while.
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  19. #19
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    What if a Wooly Mammoth chases you?
    I do believe the correct format is:

    "What is a Wooly Mammoth Chases you?"

  20. #20
    HomeBrew Master
    Reputation: Gus Riley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uprwstsdr
    That's easy. Throw a mouse at them. Everyone knows that pachyderms are afraid of mice.
    Yep. Let loose the mouse.
    Last edited by Gus Riley; 05-08-2008 at 07:13 AM.
    Aegis Aro Svelte, Surly LHT,Cannondale RT3000 Tandem, Santana Triplet

  21. #21
    Born from Jorts®
    Reputation: Hollywood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    //having them swap the 16T for a 20T...
    and a 2.3 front, right?

    // Wooly Mammoth also spells "Hot mommy awol". HTH

  22. #22
    Shirtcocker
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood
    and a 2.3 front, right?

    // Wooly Mammoth also spells "Hot mommy awol". HTH
    will have to get a 2.3. Comes with a 2.0. So the usual thing is to keep the rear at 2.0 and run a fat front tire? Or do I want 2.3s all around?

    //shoot...I was reading the wrong spec...the Redline site says 2008s come with this tire (below) though the Excel site says it's 2.0s...will have to see what it is when I go to pick it up.

    WTB Exiwolf 29 x 2.3

    May be good to go.
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  23. #23
    scruffy nerf herder
    Reputation: funknuggets's Avatar
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    Wait, is it an African or a European Wooly Mammoth?
    so sayeth the funk....

    Chris

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "The RBR Lounge. You won't ever find a more wretched hive of scum and villany. We must be cautious."

  24. #24
    Shirtcocker
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    Quote Originally Posted by funknuggets
    Wait, is it an African or a European Wooly Mammoth?
    AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  25. #25
    Have a nice day
    Reputation: undies's Avatar
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    I'd go for the ol' zefal frame pump through the front wheel. Works for me.

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