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  1. #1
    Crusty AF
    Reputation: drussell's Avatar
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    This is where I get to be the parent

    My 3YO is great. She's happy, fun-loving, generally listens well (for a 3YO), sleeps well, and is always willing to pull my finger. I feel like my wife and I are primarily guiding her along to being a good person in the world, rather than having to constantly apply heavy parental pressure like some parents we know who seem to always be exhausted. We feel very lucky. We are both highly engaged with her, but as of last night, I feel like we need to be more "parental".

    We live in a nice neighbourhood in Toronto just outside of the city proper. Kind of a mid-urb, tree-lined street with front porches and generally pretty nice neighbours. Just before I got home from work, my wife saw a woman sitting on the curb in front of our house, crying. Thinking she needed some help, she went out to see what she could do. Kidlet came out onto the porch to watch mummy.

    As soon as my wife spoke to the woman, it became clear VERY quickly things were not as expected. The woman tore into her, swearing, yelling, and saying some absolutely horrifying, graphic things which may have included a reference to kidlet. She was clearly under the influence, and possible mental illness as well. My wife was pretty taken aback and stood there for a moment in shock, before backing away to get the little one inside. The woman followed her partway up the walkway, still yelling, before moving off down the street. Kidlet saw the whole thing. My wife got her back inside and talked to her, both shaken up. Police were called, but they drove by our house 30 minutes later and moved down the street without getting out of the car to speak with us.

    We both spoke to the little one last night, explained the woman was "confused" and needed some help (i.e. some sort of age-appropriate explanation), and let her know she could ask us if she had questions or just wanted to talk about it. As I'm guessing is typical of little kids, she seems to have just let it roll off her back, and was her normal self last night. We're hoping that's it, but are now waiting for something to bubble up.

    I knew this parenting thing was getting too easy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kai Winters View Post
    It's all about the legs, lungs, heart and soul. The gear comes after that.

  2. #2
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    I think you captured the essence about your daughter letting it roll off. Don't assume or expect that every negative thing in her life, especially as indirect as this appears to have been, is going to have some lasting impact on her. Kids are resilient. And your parenting hasn't been TOO easy. Parenting isn't easy, and it doesn't have to be hard.

    When my children were young, my mantra was that if we weren't having fun, we weren't doing things right. Don't sweat the small stuff. And in life, including the raising of kids, most stuff is small. Save your parenting energy for the big stuff. You'll need it then.

  3. #3
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Kidlet: "Mommy/Daddy, why was that lady acting that way?"

    Parent: "That lady was a weirdo. There are other people out there like that too. You need to be careful around them."

    Seems simple to me but I'm not a parent.

  4. #4
    Crusty AF
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    Good points. I didn't see the interaction, just the two of them about 5 minutes later when I got home. My wife was shaken up and still talking about it this morning, so maybe my concern is misdirected :-)

    She may be more worked up about it because she knows what the woman was saying, whereas the things she said wouldn't have any meaning to kidlet; it was just yelling.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kai Winters View Post
    It's all about the legs, lungs, heart and soul. The gear comes after that.

  5. #5
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    There's no need to be concerned until your kidlet starts repeating the nasty words she heard from the weirdo!

  6. #6
    Frog Whisperer
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    I raised 4 to be productive adults. The weirdos are an important life lesson. Respond from your heart, your kids will always recognize that.... Always!

  7. #7
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    I'm sure bad things happened to me when I was three and I have no recollection of them. She will be fine, but kudos to you for being one of the parents out there that cares. Sounds like your poor wife got the worst part of this incident.

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