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  1. #1
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    Are yoga classes all this pretentious?

    My wife scored a couple "groupons" for hot yoga - 10 sessions for $25. It's a screaming great deal and we've both been talking about trying yoga as a means to limber up etc. Wife went on Sunday and really enjoyed it and I was able to go with her the following Wednesday.

    Background: the reason I live in Montana is because I don't really like the heat so much. I sweat like a water fountain, even when I'm in an air conditioned gym. I also have never taken a yoga class before. My preference would have been a "normal" yoga class but I don't look gift horses in the mouth.

    So, before class starts the instructor takes our mats and places them around the room before anyone is allowed to enter - seriously, NOT ALLOWED to enter prior to all the mats being placed.

    As we walk in I notice a handwritten sign on the door, "Please refrain from speaking inside the studio. You are welcome to talk to each other in the waiting room". Ok.

    Then the session begins. I start out doing ok, even proud of myself. I'm relieved to see that most of the men in the room aren't wearing shirts and take mine off too. The pool of sweat that I was expecting quickly forms below me.

    But yoga is physical and I eventually get to where it's clear my form and strength have left me. The instructor previously explained to the class that, "if it gets to be too much juuuuust liiiie doooowwwn, there's noooo juuuudgement in yoooogaaaaa". So I lie down and once again am reminded that my wife is stronger than me, and not even on a pound for pound basis. Just plain stronger than me.

    After a few attempts to rejoin the activities and realizing it's not going to happen I decide that, rather than lay in a pool of my own sweat breathing humid 104F degree air, I'll simply leave the room and cool off outside while the class finishes up. So I do that. I was quiet and discrete enough that my wife didn't even notice I had left.

    But the super flexible older lady that I assume is the manager did notice and followed me out a few minutes later. After a while she comes around to where I'm sitting and asks if I'm OK. "Oh, yeah, fine" I tell her. Then she gets all up tight with me, "you're not supposed to leave the room". "Oh, I'm whooped, I just came out here to cool down while my wife finishes up". "NO, you're not supposed to leave the room. You're supposed to lay on the floor". And then she continues to lecture me on proper hydration. I was in no way dehydrated, I simply left to get more comfortable and out of the way of the people sweating all around me.

    I later came to find out that same lady actually separated two women I know because they were whispering to each during the class. That probably prompted the posting of the "no talking" sign on the door.

    I can't believe this person feels it's ok to scold adults who are paying her as if they were children. Does this sound normal?

  2. #2
    Forever a Student
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    This 'yoga' class and instructor are both cons.

    You went to an uptight stretching class, nothing even close to what yoga is and has been. Actually it's pretty much the opposite.

    You're paying someone to tell you to be quiet and stretch. You're not practicing yoga in any way or fashion at all.

    Basically you got what you paid for if you ask me.
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  3. #3
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    YogaNazis. Who knew.

    .
    Monk: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    EJD: Modern-day conservatism isn't conservatism, it's reaction rooted in deep pessimism that isn't in keeping with the American character.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind.


  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by MMsRepBike View Post
    You went to an uptight stretching class, nothing even close to what yoga is and has been. Actually it's pretty much the opposite.
    That's what I suspected. Oh well, I still could use some stretching in my routine. I'll give it another time or two and see if my experience improves.

    There is another studio in town that sounds better and offers a class specifically for beginners. They'll let you take one session for free if you're a local. Maybe I'll give that a shot although if I were to keep up with yoga I think I could do it just fine in my house/backyard.

  5. #5
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    There was an awesome beginner class at the gym in our office building. Only 3 or 4 people would do it at a time, and it was plenty quiet and controlled without a YogiNazi. We'd come in, put shoes/socks in the cubby by the door, get mats and blocks from the closet. No need for chitchat. I miss it!!

    Must be a reason she was chosen/chose the Groupon. OR, maybe she's working for Big Pharm and is out to make people hate yoga!

  6. #6
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    Yikes, that sounds horrid! Find a new studio, STAT! There's probably a reason why they turned to Groupon...

    The studio I practice in (...which I realize sounds incredibly pretentious) has a weekly schedule posted on their Facebook...Sunday nights are really relaxed community classes for $5; sort of an outreach type thing, to get their name out to people who are curious about yoga. Saturday, they'll have their ABC (Absolute beginner class) where they will run step by step through each pose and make sure everyone's comfortable. Then, throughout the week, they'll have either Power Vinyasa or Flow Vinyasa...Power is more calisthenic, and Flow is more meditative.

    Reddit's yoga subreddit has a lot of good stuff, but it's worth doing some kind of community classes once in a while just to meet people and learn some new stuff.
    I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

  7. #7
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    tried Bikram twice...

    it's a good sweat and quite challenging.

    BUT, both of the little co-ed instructors were negative aspects...their sweety-sweet drill instructor manner was annoying AF.

    one chastised me for deviating from the desired form in one pose...which was due to a physical problem with my knee, not sloppy technique.

    haven't been back since that experience.
    Ancient Astronaut theorists say, 'YES!'

  8. #8
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    Next class, stop working out, lie down as recommended, and fall asleep. Start snoring. Maybe fart once or twice. See if the instructor changes her tune.

  9. #9
    Russian Troll Farmer
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    I took yoga about 40 years ago, with an instructor who was from India (yes, the REAL thing). Yes, there was a certain meditative aspect to it, so I guess talking would be distracting, but these people sound like a bunch of twats.
    "L'enfer, c'est les autres"

  10. #10
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    Sometimes its the other students who are the problem.

    I tried a yoga class at my old (and rather crappy) gym a few years back. The instructor was decent, and I was able to do most of the poses/moves, to my suprise (though just barely).

    But there was one move I just couldn't do. After the class, several wide-eyed-seemingly students commented to me that "That's just a basic pose, you really should be able to do that." Coupled with a kind of 'why are you here?' vibe. Way to motivate the new guy, yay.

    So, sometimes the YogaNazis are the students, not the teachers.

    And this thread is making me think I should take up Pilates. Perhaps there's less 'tude there, overall.

    .
    Monk: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    EJD: Modern-day conservatism isn't conservatism, it's reaction rooted in deep pessimism that isn't in keeping with the American character.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter P. View Post
    Maybe fart once or twice. See if the instructor changes her tune.
    Farting in 104F heat with high humidity. It might as well be a fart in the shower.
    Ghurarmu shirkush’ agh azgushu. Zant ya apakurizak. Gűl-n’ anakhizak.

  12. #12
    LWP
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter P. View Post
    Maybe fart once or twice. See if the instructor changes her tune.
    For the win.

    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock View Post
    YogaNazis. Who knew.

    .
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  13. #13
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    I did yoga twice a week before the broken leg. Same instructor. It is an intermediate class which has flow, core and stretching. A little lighter on the meditative side but still very refreshing. I actually set up a studio in my pole barn that has a wood stove and enough room for 8 people and the teacher. She says it is her favorite class to teach because of the students. Every once in a while we chuckle if something is funny but still respect the meditative parts. I made up 12 playlists and everyone loves them. As soon as my leg is able, I will be back on the mat and the bike. Our yoga instructor said that some classes she teaches are a pain because the students complain about all kinds of stuff (too hard, too easy, not enough flow, person breathes too heavy)

    I took hot yoga once at a studio and actually embarrassed myself because I was just dripping and slipping.
    "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --A. Einstein

  14. #14
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    at least you're not in pregnant lady yoga...some woman in my wife's class 2 weeks ago had her water break mid stretch. my wife referred to it as "&*^king disgusting".....she's a pretty cool lady.
    Not banned yet.

  15. #15
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    in the 3000 plus years of Yoga, Bikram has been around for a tad over 50 but somehow a bunch of folks have decided it is 'real indian yoga' and have turned it into crossfit of the east. The mentality that goes with it is utterly American and utterly non yoga. Some of the poses (which they tried to copyright) where they get you to lock your knees are HORRIBLE for you. Bikram is just bad Ashtanga with some heat. For most cyclists Bikram and Ashtanga are stupid. You already get a workout riding. What cyclists need is core strength and flexibility and you'd be better served with Ayengar or Hatha, plus you'll actually get much more of the mind/body connection than dick wagging Bikram
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  16. #16
    hfc
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    There’s probably a similar thread on some yoga website about a noob trying to get started in a pretentious road biking group.

    I would consider grunting really loudly while making your moves, making whistling noises when you breath, etc. You could really have fun with it!

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock View Post
    Sometimes its the other students who are the problem.

    I tried a yoga class at my old (and rather crappy) gym a few years back. The instructor was decent, and I was able to do most of the poses/moves, to my suprise (though just barely).

    But there was one move I just couldn't do. After the class, several wide-eyed-seemingly students commented to me that "That's just a basic pose, you really should be able to do that." Coupled with a kind of 'why are you here?' vibe. Way to motivate the new guy, yay.

    So, sometimes the YogaNazis are the students, not the teachers.

    And this thread is making me think I should take up Pilates. Perhaps there's less 'tude there, overall.

    .
    we had a small pilates studio where I knew one of the instructors. We talked and I explained what we were looking for (Core Strength and Stretching) so she designed a program for us. Cycling based Pilates, and I filled her class with fellow cyclists. The owner called it "Dudelates" because it was the only all male (sometimes 1 woman) class, and that we'd go across the street for a beer afterwards. She moved, I miss that class.
    one nation, under surveillance with liberty and justice for few

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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by atpjunkie View Post
    we had a small pilates studio where I knew one of the instructors. We talked and I explained what we were looking for (Core Strength and Stretching) so she designed a program for us. Cycling based Pilates, and I filled her class with fellow cyclists. The owner called it "Dudelates" because it was the only all male (sometimes 1 woman) class, and that we'd go across the street for a beer afterwards. She moved, I miss that class.
    'Dudelates', lol. Should copyright that.

    Though that name does make it sound more like a bunch of guys going to Starbucks afterwards than for beer.
    .
    Monk: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    EJD: Modern-day conservatism isn't conservatism, it's reaction rooted in deep pessimism that isn't in keeping with the American character.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind.


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock View Post
    'Dudelates', lol. Should copyright that.

    Though that name does make it sound more like a bunch of guys going to Starbucks afterwards than for beer.
    .
    you can do the same thing in your town. Get 5 to 6 riders and find a studio
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by atpjunkie View Post
    What cyclists need is core strength and flexibility and you'd be better served with Ayengar or Hatha, plus you'll actually get much more of the mind/body connection than dick wagging Bikram
    Preach it brother!
    "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --A. Einstein

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by hfc View Post
    There’s probably a similar thread on some yoga website about a noob trying to get started in a pretentious road biking group.

    I would consider grunting really loudly while making your moves, making whistling noises when you breath, etc. You could really have fun with it!
    I'd bet that there's a 'yoga nazi' equivalent of the 'fred' in cycling.......
    "L'enfer, c'est les autres"

  22. #22
    Eddy 53:11
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    I did my one and only yoga class in San Fran about 10 years ago on a Sat Morning. HOT yoga. I was sweating so badly, sweat would pool on my stomach and run-off each of my sides onto my mat. The instructor only allowed 1 small towel supplied by the yoga place. Not to mention there was about 5-6 inches between each others mats!! I was yelled at most of the time. Then again, I was and am a newb db.
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  23. #23
    Cooper1960
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    As a grown ass man you do what you like within reason. Simple response to the mouthy lady was "can it, you ain't the boss of me".
    Miles of agony for moments of ahhh!

  24. #24
    tlg
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    My wife owns a yoga studio. She has a term for Hot Yoga.... "Fake Yoga".
    But she does operate a hot yoga room... because unfortunately that's where the money is at. And people are allowed to (quietly) leave the room. And set up their own mats before the class begins.
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  25. #25
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    Someone should open a naked twister studio that serves cheap alcohol to drive these stuffy yoga joints out of business.

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