Married people with kids got it made.

[nOOky]

I shouldn't do it, but I've got an 18 pack of some decent beer, and a nice bottle of Shiraz to go with my movie I rented. By later tonight it will all be good.

[catzilla]

Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II

I never understood why people put all those stupid scrunchies in babies' hair and make it stick up like that. My sister did this with both her girls. Looks stupid as hell.

Wait. I thought that was the whole goal every time we get 'em dressed.

[Len J]

This thread is humorous.........

I read the OP's thread as screming..."I have no boundaries...people take advantage of me...it's their fault." Makes me chuckle. This has nothing to do with having kids.

You want to get to the heart of your problem...look in the mirror. If you are being taken advantage of, it's because you allow it.

Len

[rkj__]

Originally Posted by BentChainring

also, being an engineer is fairly effective birth control.

hahhahahahahahhhahahaha

[MarkS]

Originally Posted by nOOky

So I am single, no children. I have a girlfriend, but she doesn't count in my rant and in my employers eyes. Neither does our two dogs.

I was told I am going to Texas for work next Monday. I live in Wisconsin. My girlfriend is in Cancun until next Wednesday. Okay, why me I ask, there are others who can go. So each one got out of it because of either child care issues or something like that. Not enough notice for them. Basically I was chosen by default since we are childless and free to go anywhere at any time.
So I look for someone to board our dogs, we live in the country and there are no neighbors close enough or friends we want to ask to drive 15 miles out of their way twice a day to feed them. It's $38 a day. I ask work if they will pay for it. Of course not.
The bottom line is that in the past I have been asked to do things simply because I am unmarried and childless. . . .

Oh yea, I don't get anything extra to travel monetarily, just the burden of paying boarding fees for the dogs for a few days this time. Sweet.

Although I have two kids (now 17 and 20), I spent the first four years of my professional career as a single man and then two years married with no kids. So, I received some of the same kind of treatment you are receiving. It continued when the kids were small and my wife was not working -- the powers that be thought that I was better able to travel than some of my colleagues because of our respective family situations. I probably did get some better opportunities than my colleagues who were protected from travel because of their family situations, but I also paid a price for it at home and in other respects. I now realize that the problem I faced was larger than the travel issue and I should have dealt with it earlier than I did (i.e., I stayed in the job years longer than I should have).

Your dog boarding issue struck a nerve with me. When my kids were very small, I was sent to LA on two cases -- there was a two year period in which I went to LA 17 times, usually for a week at a stretch. During those weeks, my wife had to hire babysitters so that she could do things like go to doctors appointments and do other things that she could have done without a babysitter were I around. I never asked for reimbursement, but when it came for salary/bonus time, I made a pitch that the number of days I was away from home should have been taken into account in addition to my billable hours -- being away from home cost me real dollars. The powers that be looked at me as if I were crazy and dismissed my pitch as being totally frivolous.

[EverydayRide]

Originally Posted by Len J

This thread is humorous.........
You want to get to the heart of your problem...look in the mirror. If you are being taken advantage of, it's because you allow it.

Len

You believe that? I think you do. It's okay to believe that, but if you're an immigrant or happen to find yourself in a job where at the time taking that job it didn't require "X" but now it does and there is a line of people who'll take it In these economic situations

...people can find themselves in compromising

[MR_GRUMPY]

Can't you just lie?

Tell 'em that your "love child" from a previous relationship is going to be there that week.

Bike race?????......Oops, "love child" is spending a weekend.


"You need me to work on Saturday?".........."I've got an appointment to take care of these dang STD's".............."Do you want to see?...it ain't pretty"

[BenWA]

Originally Posted by nOOky

The bottom line is that in the past I have been asked to do things simply because I am unmarried and childless.

When I was first hired at my company I was the go-to guy for extended travel projects being the only single guy. My boss never wanted to send my coworkers away because they were all married (most without kids, mind you). It pissed me off to no end at first to essentially be penalized for being single, espeically considering that there is already a hefty financial penalty for being single to begin with (i.e., only one income to contribute to a "household", etc).

BUT... I got over it quick, because all the places I've been sent to have been hella cool and have more or less been like paid adventure vacations. Can't complain, and every time a travel opp comes up I'm first in line.

[rockstar2083]

I've been on both sides of this fence. The part that sucks is the non-reimbursed expenses but both single and married folks get those as well.

Vent here or at the bar in Texas. Find a way to enjoy part of the trip. Hopefully, the weather is a respite from Northern midwest winter that just keeps dragging on.

[Len J]

Originally Posted by EverydayRide

You believe that? I think you do. It's okay to believe that, but if you're an immigrant or happen to find yourself in a job where at the time taking that job it didn't require "X" but now it does and there is a line of people who'll take it In these economic situations

...people can find themselves in compromising

Hde's not an immigrant...he's a guy that hasn't set boundaries.

I'm not talking about "I will never...." rather I'm talking about taking a balanced position.....Always saying yes is a good way to encourage people that...."you will always say yes."

Len

[tomk96]

just curious, do the people who said no to traveling have seniority on you? for many years, i was one of the people that work around the holidays since all my family was local and others had to travel. i never had much issue with it. was i being penalized for not being from out of town?

you have a fair enough rant, but when it comes down to it, single people generally have more flexible schedules.

[Touch0Gray]

Originally Posted by nOOky

I shouldn't do it, but I've got an 18 pack of some decent beer, and a nice bottle of Shiraz to go with my movie I rented. By later tonight it will all be good.

If you drink 18 bottles of beer and a bottle of wine.....tonight might be better but tomorrow morning might not

[EverydayRide]

Originally Posted by Len J

Hde's not an immigrant...he's a guy that hasn't set boundaries.

I'm not talking about "I will never...." rather I'm talking about taking a balanced position.....Always saying yes is a good way to encourage people that...."you will always say yes."

Len

Many people listen to you LenJ. You're not just speaking to one or two members in a thread. Your voice and opinion trickles with a respect. nOOky just represents an incidental thread title someone out there [as a member of RBR] would stumble upon. Much like that day back in Octobre that kid piped in asking if the "other" website RBA was operational. Everyone jumped down his throat. I didn't. I checked it out and said it was working. Done.

I always thought you could step back, look at everyone else and respond more globally to everyone in the thread, just not the OP.

Maybe I was wrong.

[Len J]

Originally Posted by EverydayRide

Many people listen to you LenJ. You're not just speaking to one or two members in a thread. Your voice and opinion trickles with a respect. nOOky just represents an incidental thread title someone out there [as a member of RBR] would stumble upon. Much like that day back in Octobre that kid piped in asking if the "other" website RBA was operational. Everyone jumped down his throat. I didn't. I checked it out and said it was working. Done.

I always thought you could step back, look at everyone else and respond more globally to everyone in the thread, just not the OP.

Maybe I was wrong.

What are you talking about?

OP thinks he is being taken advantage of.
OP blames it on his being single.
Where is his responsibility in this?

Len

[EverydayRide]

Originally Posted by Len J

What are you talking about?

OP thinks he is being taken advantage of.
OP blames it on his being single.
Where is his responsibility in this?

Len

Dunno LenJ. I'm more worried about the opinions on people saying not to have children or the advantage of not having children. Also more worried over those who feel there are too many children in the world and so why have them.

Don't worry about it. I'm just reading too much into the thread. For anyone asking the question of why they want to have children, I would ask... good thing your parent's didn't have that thought.

Anyway. Back to the unusual programming of the Lounge.

peace.

[q_and_a]

Originally Posted by BenWA

It pissed me off to no end at first to essentially be penalized for being single, espeically considering that there is already a hefty financial penalty for being single to begin with (i.e., only one income to contribute to a "household", etc).

.

I'm not sure how there is a hefty penalty for being single. I support a family of three on my salary alone.

[EverydayRide]

Originally Posted by BenWA

It pissed me off to no end at first to essentially be penalized for being single, especially considering that there is already a hefty financial penalty for being single to begin with (i.e., only one income to contribute to a "household", etc).

You needed a good tax lawyer [CPA/JD]. Not an H&R Block tax assistant dude at Walmart during tax season. I mean a real tax lawyer.

When I was single? I would have hated being the tax lawyer/accountant answering my calls a couple hundred times a year.

Money is so hard to earn. It should be harder to spend and even harder for the feds to pull from your index and thumb on a firm legally advised grasp.

[Henry Porter]

Originally Posted by EverydayRide

Dunno LenJ. I'm more worried about the opinions on people saying not to have children or the advantage of not having children. Also more worried over those who feel there are too many children in the world and so why have them.

Don't worry about it. I'm just reading too much into the thread. For anyone asking the question of why they want to have children, I would ask... good thing your parent's didn't have that thought.

Anyway. Back to the unusual programming of the Lounge.

peace.

Look at all the kids starving in the world, all the kids abused, all the orphanages filled. Get a grip, people have kids that shouldn't. California is having a water crisis due to too much demand, gasoline prices keep rising due to the amount of demand, etc, etc. If people don't really want children they shouldn't have them. For you to push such a huge decision on people is beyond ridiculous being you can't see beyond your own experience. No one in this entire thread was telling people not to have children if they want them. I know the pain of wanting kids and having issues with having them.

As Dr. Roebuck and I both said, it comes down to the choices we make. Telling people to go either way on such a personal thing (especially one in which some people simply aren't able to reproduce) is ridiculous and perhaps offensive.

[nOOky]

Originally Posted by Len J

This thread is humorous.........

I read the OP's thread as screming..."I have no boundaries...people take advantage of me...it's their fault." Makes me chuckle. This has nothing to do with having kids.

You want to get to the heart of your problem...look in the mirror. If you are being taken advantage of, it's because you allow it.

Len

Boy, I wish it were so easy as you describe. Jobs are so plentiful around here that I should just tell them to get bent, and walk my self-respect right to the unemployment line. Oh, I wouldn't get unemployment. I'd still have my pride though, just no income. I'm willing to bet you've never had to grin and bear it in life, good for you.

Maybe it's easy for you, but when I was asked to go, I did put up a fight of sorts. But you have to know when to push and when to give, and this is a lot of money for our company. I did get something out of it, I can put a trip to Six Flags and any booze I consume on the company card, previously due to economic strains that stuff was cut. A small victory in the fight against oppression hehe.

[nOOky]

Originally Posted by Touch0Gray

If you drink 18 bottles of beer and a bottle of wine.....tonight might be better but tomorrow morning might not

lol no worries, I've only started sipping the first glass of wine, and skipped the beer. Gotta watch the calories and stuff seeing as how I'm trying to get in shape for next season.

[Len J]

Originally Posted by nOOky

Boy, I wish it were so easy as you describe. Jobs are so plentiful around here that I should just tell them to get bent, and walk my self-respect right to the unemployment line. Oh, I wouldn't get unemployment. I'd still have my pride though, just no income. I'm willing to bet you've never had to grin and bear it in life, good for you.

Not true.

Why is it always an all or nothing choice?? So in your mind the only choices are, grin and bear it or tell them to go f themselves? There are other choices and other ways of dealing with it. And you are convinced that if you don't do everything they want when they want it, they will fire you?

That's not reality in any job environment I've ever been in....and I've been in a lot.

Len

[Len J]

Originally Posted by nOOky

Boy, I wish it were so easy as you describe. Jobs are so plentiful around here that I should just tell them to get bent, and walk my self-respect right to the unemployment line. Oh, I wouldn't get unemployment. I'd still have my pride though, just no income. I'm willing to bet you've never had to grin and bear it in life, good for you.

Maybe it's easy for you, but when I was asked to go, I did put up a fight of sorts. But you have to know when to push and when to give, and this is a lot of money for our company. I did get something out of it, I can put a trip to Six Flags and any booze I consume on the company card, previously due to economic strains that stuff was cut. A small victory in the fight against oppression hehe.

BTW......I worked for almost 4 years in oublic accouting back in the late 70's.....about the biggest meatgrinder there is.......so I know what you are up against, but I also know that sometimes it's about how you approach setting the boundaries as much as which boundaries you set. It's not all or nothing.......but there is what you want...and there is how you go about getting it...and there is picking the correct fight....and the correct time to have the conversation. I'll give you a hint....it's usually, not when the request is made. You want to have a very mature, very rational conversation with your boss that is aimed at finding a solution to not just your problem, but also his. If you thjink about it.....there is a solution.

Len

[nOOky]

It's pretty much unwinable. The boss has 5 kids, family is very important to him. He usually sympathizes with the family guys versus single guys who have "all sorts of free time on our hands."
I'm going to start documenting my hours, versus the time of my co-workers who leave all the time with kid issues. As mentioned above I bet their hourly rate of pay is higher than mine per hours worked. I'm going to start asking to leave early in the spring for bicycle rides to make up for it, and I'll have the spreadsheet to prove it.

[EverydayRide]

Originally Posted by nOOky

I'm going to start asking to leave early in the spring for bicycle rides to make up for it, and I'll have the spreadsheet to prove it.

I think LenJ could identify closer to your issues then me given his account on earlier days in the "grind." Personally? I think - it's a combination of things that has led you to your present situation. One, you're young and eager to facilitate your employer and the "job." That is completely normal. In tough economic times during business it's easier to pressure people like you to pick up the slack where it's needed then that of the "settled down folk" who have family life.

I think that LenJ has it right for the most part on looking in the mirror. If you're in the business to make tons of money and haven't a care in the world [no family or ties] then you want to be available if you "want to be." If you don't, then a clear look in the mirror will tell you it's putting your foot down and saying, "hey I can't."

[wagsea6b]

I've always had a little bit of an issue with how leaving work early to go pick kids up from some function is an acceptable reason to leave work early (and I don't disagree) but If a non breeder were to say "I'm leaving early to go workout" it wouldn't be nearly as well received. In both cases the employee will be out of the shop. I guess the person without kids could fib, but my point is that they shouldn't have to. This is one of the societal double standards I see in the workplace.