GdS (Italian cycling magazine): But this doping, since everyone did it, it was a level playing field, right?
Zabel: Sure. Just like when a bunch of banks conspire to wreck the economy. Among the cheaters and thieves, we were equal.
GdS: And those who didn’t dope weren’t good enough anyway, were they? You can’t make a race horse out of a donkey, can you? Heh, heh.
Zabel: I’m sure there were many great racers who chose not to dope. You know what we called them? Chumps. Look it up.
Gds: Chumps?
Zabel: ****in-A. I made a fortune. My stockbroker invested wisely. For the price of an apology and a couple of press conferences I got a killer house, a smokin’ hot wife, and four MSR wins. The chumps are flipping burgers or writing anonymous hate mail to bikeforums.com. **** them. Losers.
L’E (French cycling magazine): In your previous confession you were very tearful and admitted to only using EPO once. Why? Did you fear the omerta?
Zabel: You ****ers crack me up. Quit watching so many Godfather movies. Why would I possibly be scared of a bunch of skinny manorexics?
L’E: Then why did you confess as you did?
Zabel: Because I’m a liar. And a drug addict. What, are you the stupidest person ever born?
L’E: But it was the system that made you an addict, wasn’t it? You were helpless against the force of history, correct?
Zabel: I was an addict because I liked kicking ass on the French on the Champs Elysees. You don’t make it to the top of the East German sports hierarchy without making some choices.
L’E: But of course you regret your partial confession, don’t you? The system wouldn’t have understood if you had made a full confession, correct?
Zabel: **** the system. I shed a couple of crocodile tears, ‘fessed up to some minor crap and landed a gig as pro consultant to Vattenfall. What’s not to like?
ZDF: But the new cycling is clean, is it not? Your son Rick would never dope, and he is in a new system, correct?
Zabel: Look, chump, anyone who would send his kid off into the pro peloton and not expect him to be a crazed drug addict is nuts. Rick’s a grown man. When the time comes and they offer to shoot his pecker up with the latest wonder drug, he’ll know what to do.
VN: If you could do it all over again you wouldn’t do it, would you?
Zabel: Okay, you’re the second stupidest person in history. Of course I would. Do drugs, boink podium girls, make millions … what part of “make millions” and “boink podium girls” do you not understand?
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Zabel re-confesses to doping | Cycling in the South Bay