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  1. #1
    Burning Fists of Love
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    Can aero wheels get me beyond light speed?

    I just had to ask this question.

    I mean, since we have folks who cruise at 27+ mph, at 99.9999999% of their MHR for weeks at a time; WHY NOT go for the GUSTO? I mean hey, ~186,000 miles per second is JUST AROUND the corner..

    However, is there a decent metric for the benefit and context these wheels are purported to provide? PLEASE DO NOT provide a commercial URL that JUST SO HAPPENS to sell wheels.......
    This old anvil has cracked alot of hammers

  2. #2
    Call me a Fred
    Reputation: MikeBiker's Avatar
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    It has been scientifically proven that Warp Factor 3 can be obtained by using aero wheels on a bent.
    Mike

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You may starch my jumper
    Hang it upside your wall
    You know by that, baby
    I need my ashes hauled.

    Sleepy John Estes

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  3. #3
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    The faster you go the heavier you'll get. Before your lard ass approaches the speed of light it'll collapse on itself

  4. #4
    AM999's Liberal Facist
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    Quote Originally Posted by divve
    The faster you go the heavier you'll get. Before your lard ass approaches the speed of light it'll collapse on itself
    Oh yeah? Says you.
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    Man. You are all stuped.
    ~RUFUSPHOTO

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by divve
    The faster you go the heavier you'll get. Before your lard ass approaches the speed of light it'll collapse on itself
    I thought the deal was that as you get closer to approaching to the speed of light, time slows down. That's why atomic clocks installed on airplanes and then compared to a "control" clock standing still are uber-nano-milliseconds behind. Theoretically, the closer you approached the speed of light, the less you would "age."

    Or at least that's what Mr. Pabst Blue Ribbon is telling me...man, I need to get a job, so I can cavort with the Yuengling twins (Lager/Porter) more often.

  6. #6
    Moderatus Puisne
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    Litespeed just needs to SPELL it right.

    And make their new rides out of dilithium and antimatter.

  7. #7
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    Now you're just talking crazy talk.

    Everyone with any sense at all knows that it's the aero spoke nipples, specially cold-forged from Unobtainium and individually hand stress relieved that will really make you go fast.

    Light speed? That's so big-bang. Get with the times, man!

    Metrics? We don't need no stinkin' metrics!

    www.NORML.org
    A good habit is as hard to break as a bad one..

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by ttug
    However, is there a decent metric for the benefit and context these wheels are purported to provide? PLEASE DO NOT provide a commercial URL that JUST SO HAPPENS to sell wheels.......
    Evidently not, but I can provide an anecdote that I will swear to on a stack of bibles. During my last century I used rims a meter deep. At an average speed of 50 mph I shaved five hours off my best time, which was quite a feat since my previous best was 4:42. I drove to the event, got out of my car, and suddenly found myself covered in sweat and reeking of B.O. I patted myself on the back for a job well done, got back into my car, and drove back home.

  9. #9
    tofurkey hunting
    Reputation: ampastoral's Avatar
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    step up???

    Quote Originally Posted by 2Fast2Furryious
    Or at least that's what Mr. Pabst Blue Ribbon is telling me...man, I need to get a job, so I can cavort with the Yuengling twins (Lager/Porter) more often.
    seriously, pbr to yuengling? post job? i'm not dissin on the big y. i lived off that stuff for two years in grad school (and still do quite often...best green bottle value out there hell, i bought some old mil tall boys the other day . but still, i heard that's like signing a pro deal and upgrading your ride from sora to tiagra.

  10. #10
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    Unobtanium, cold forged?

    Quote Originally Posted by danl1
    Now you're just talking crazy talk.

    Everyone with any sense at all knows that it's the aero spoke nipples, specially cold-forged from Unobtainium and individually hand stress relieved that will really make you go fast.

    Light speed? That's so big-bang. Get with the times, man!

    Metrics? We don't need no stinkin' metrics!

    www.NORML.org
    It's obvious you're ALL wrong. The hot ticket is the Waterford Crystal (not the Schwinn clan) hoops with the titanium carbon fiber suspended in the mix. It is only used once then discarded. Major weight savings and they practically spin themselves.

  11. #11
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ttug
    I just had to ask this question.

    I mean, since we have folks who cruise at 27+ mph, at 99.9999999% of their MHR for weeks at a time; WHY NOT go for the GUSTO? I mean hey, ~186,000 miles per second is JUST AROUND the corner..

    However, is there a decent metric for the benefit and context these wheels are purported to provide? PLEASE DO NOT provide a commercial URL that JUST SO HAPPENS to sell wheels.......
    You can get then the same place you got your 25,000 mile chain...
    I hear they sell magic beans there too!
    Pretty much here just to piss you off...

  12. #12
    Steaming piles of opinion
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    Ssshhh!

    Quote Originally Posted by merckx56
    You can get then the same place you got your 25,000 mile chain...
    I hear they sell magic beans there too!
    Don't go telling everyone about the racer's secret, Magic Beanz (tm). That's the real secret to speed on the bike - jet propulsion and muscular lubrication.

    So maybe it doesn't really speed you up. But it sure will slow everyone else down.
    A good habit is as hard to break as a bad one..

  13. #13
    Burning Fists of Love
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    good catch

    Quote Originally Posted by ampastoral
    seriously, pbr to yuengling? post job? i'm not dissin on the big y. i lived off that stuff for two years in grad school (and still do quite often...best green bottle value out there hell, i bought some old mil tall boys the other day . but still, i heard that's like signing a pro deal and upgrading your ride from sora to tiagra.
    Actually, the better metaphor would be along the lines of Sun Tour to Shimano.

    I love my Yuengling and buy it a case at a time. Try grilling brats after they bath in it for 24 hours. I mean hey, $15.51 (tax included) American is great for a case of bottles. You know they are still privately owned and make a %*&^%*&^*&^**^%$&%$#$ POT of profit.
    This old anvil has cracked alot of hammers

  14. #14
    Burning Fists of Love
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    oh

    Quote Originally Posted by Under ACrookedSky
    Evidently not, but I can provide an anecdote that I will swear to on a stack of bibles. During my last century I used rims a meter deep. At an average speed of 50 mph I shaved five hours off my best time, which was quite a feat since my previous best was 4:42. I drove to the event, got out of my car, and suddenly found myself covered in sweat and reeking of B.O. I patted myself on the back for a job well done, got back into my car, and drove back home.

    Are you sure you drove there ONCE?
    This old anvil has cracked alot of hammers

  15. #15
    tofurkey hunting
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    self spinning wheels...

    it just hit me, you need wheels meant for cars. i know the rubber seems cumbersome, but hang with me here. they spin by themselve, like the rings that entrap the superman villians. or, when the guys at the mechanic get them to spin on one another (twas also in a seinfeld episode). one wheel wobbles on its sidewall, while another wobbles on top of it. convert that to forward motion somehow and slap em on a bike. they spin themselves. then, we can all get home from the yuenglin fest sans effort. sorry fellas, case closed.

  16. #16
    Burning Fists of Love
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    yes, yes

    Quote Originally Posted by merckx56
    You can get then the same place you got your 25,000 mile chain...
    I hear they sell magic beans there too!
    Performance sells magic beans?

    Normally, you are right, BUT this year I could not get to my store.

    All of your spent disposable 1 week only chains were blocking the door and hence, I had to go elsewhere. But, just between you and me, they are going to melt about a years worth of your chains and make a new series of super bikes. Remember, its a secret.........
    This old anvil has cracked alot of hammers

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2Fast2Furryious
    I thought the deal was that as you get closer to approaching to the speed of light, time slows down. That's why atomic clocks installed on airplanes and then compared to a "control" clock standing still are uber-nano-milliseconds behind. Theoretically, the closer you approached the speed of light, the less you would "age."

    Or at least that's what Mr. Pabst Blue Ribbon is telling me...man, I need to get a job, so I can cavort with the Yuengling twins (Lager/Porter) more often.
    Careful with that Relativity, Eugene, lest you get your reference frames all knotted up. Iffin' yer goin the speed of light, in yer frame of reference 10 minutes is still 10 minutes, but to to people standin still, watchin' you through Hubble, you seem to age muy slowly...and move muy slowly. It's all relative, as they say, and therein is this fun little nugget: there is no absolute frame of reference, so there is no absolute velocity.....time.......length.....so there.

    Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity is a fun read that doesn't hurt too much. If you want to feel pain, try on the General Theory of Relativity. There's a reason Al's hair looked the way it did.

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