Has anyone else ever ripped one so hard they nearly wrecked?
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  1. #1
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Has anyone else ever ripped one so hard they nearly wrecked?

    I went on the West End Cycles Sunday Taco Ride this morning. We stopped about a third of the way at one of those taquerias on Navigation and had a great breakfast.

    We were absolutely hammering it afterwards and I could feel a tingling start to form in my stomach. There was a hot chic drafting off me so I had to hold it in. After the next light turned green I got a good start to get about 20 feet in front of her - I needed 200.

    I let out a blast of beauty that literally lifted me off the seat and nearly sent me over the handlebars. It sounded like a cannon shot and the girl wouldn't make eye contact with me afterwards.

    I was laughing to myself the rest of the morning

    Great ride by the way
    Last edited by brentster; 09-02-2007 at 03:52 PM.

  2. #2
    You're Not the Boss of Me
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    Take this kind of post to the Lounge please, or not at all. I think this kind of post is also welcome at bicycling.com

    Sorry if I seem humorless; perhaps I'm just a little old for fart jokes.
    JESUS IS COMING

    ... look busy

  3. #3
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    I just move to the back of the paceline and stay there on bad days. Nobody will call you a wheelsucker. Believe me they understand. And yes I have been there. I have Spray Air Freshner at several locations in the house for such occasions.

  4. #4
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    It really feels good to come out of the saddle and let one rip

  5. #5
    2 busy workin' 2 hang out
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayTee
    Take this kind of post to the Lounge please, or not at all. I think this kind of post is also welcome at bicycling.com

    Sorry if I seem humorless; perhaps I'm just a little old for fart jokes.
    Why should this be in the lounge? It's cycling related.
    Dictated but not read.

  6. #6
    Growing Older, Not Up
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    No, but I nearly fell off the couch laughing while reading your post!

  7. #7
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    [QUOTE]I let out a blast of beauty that literally lifted me off the seat and nearly sent me over the handlebars[/QUOT

    I'm reluctant to believe this story as told. In my experience it is pretty difficult to even get a good release while seated, let alone a blast like you describe. A good pressure equalization does make you feel better, however.

    Birddog

  8. #8
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    [QUOTE=Birddog]
    I let out a blast of beauty that literally lifted me off the seat and nearly sent me over the handlebars[/QUOT

    I'm reluctant to believe this story as told. In my experience it is pretty difficult to even get a good release while seated, let alone a blast like you describe. A good pressure equalization does make you feel better, however.

    Birddog
    In my experience, it's the ones that you rip when you're sitting that are the big ones. Well, either they're really tiny or huge. The standing ones are the moderate ones, I guess you could say.

    I feel like replying to this thread just made me dumber.
    "It's hard to tell the poison from the cure, so enjoy the disease."
    -Mohair_Chair

  9. #9
    Folsom City Blues...
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    Quote Originally Posted by crumjack
    No, but I nearly fell off the couch laughing while reading your post!
    LOL, me too! But, all and all, that got be embarrassing as all heck. Perhaps Mexican food is not an option for future group rides…

    Peace
    Tao Te Ching

    The movement of the Tao is to return

    The way of Tao is to yield

    Heaven, Earth and all things are born of the existant world.

    The existent world is born of nothingness of the Tao

    Master Lao Tzu

  10. #10

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    This is why I have a Selle SMP saddle....no more lifting off the seat!

    Flash

  11. #11
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    I'm guilty. When I read this it took me by such surprise I LMAO. I don't know why.

  12. #12
    Darling of The Lounge
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    Exclamation Be careful out there

    I had the Hershey Squirts once when I thought it was just going to be loud and dry . This made for a long and uncomfortable ride home. I suffered in silence for many miles

  13. #13
    slyjackson
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    Quote Originally Posted by brentster
    I went on the West End Cycles Sunday Taco Ride this morning. We stopped about a third of the way at one of those taquerias on Navigation and had a great breakfast.

    We were absolutely hammering it afterwards and I could feel a tingling start to form in my stomach. There was a hot chic drafting off me so I had to hold it in. After the next light turned green I got a good start to get about 20 feet in front of her - I needed 200.

    I let out a blast of beauty that literally lifted me off the seat and nearly sent me over the handlebars. It sounded like a cannon shot and the girl wouldn't make eye contact with me afterwards.

    I was laughing to myself the rest of the rest of the morning

    Great ride by the way
    You have brought tears to my eyes from laughing so hard. My dog is looking at me like I've lost my mind. My wife peeped in the room at me and shook her head and left, but the dog is still here looking at me like I'm nuts and just can't stop laughing. I'm not sure if it is your post or the look on my dogs face that keeps me laughing so hard...

  14. #14
    Folsom City Blues...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retro Grouch
    I had the Hershey Squirts once when I thought it was just going to be loud and dry . This made for a long and uncomfortable ride home. I suffered in silence for many miles
    That's one real good danged reason to keep your Sh*t under control, Hershey Squirts and Kisses ain’t no fun on a long ride…

    Peace
    Tao Te Ching

    The movement of the Tao is to return

    The way of Tao is to yield

    Heaven, Earth and all things are born of the existant world.

    The existent world is born of nothingness of the Tao

    Master Lao Tzu

  15. #15
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    Best laugh I have had all day.........

  16. #16
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    That was classic....

  17. #17
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    Powered by Chipotle, huh?

  18. #18
    Yippidy Dippity
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    Well that cracked me right up haha

    It's good turbo boost you know

  19. #19
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    I'm dying here, from laughing. Can't hardly read the posts becuse my head is bobbing up and down...

  20. #20
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    One is never too old for a good ole fashioned fart story.
    Don't forget to breathe.

  21. #21
    Poser
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    Too funny...

  22. #22
    Poser
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    btw, is it just me or when you are trying to let one go (like force it out), do you feel your quads tighten up?

  23. #23
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    tandem oops

    I had a friend relay this experience...

    He was about 20 feet behind some friends of ours who were on a tandem. All of a sudden the wife (stoker) starts beating her husband from behind... Evidently he let one rip without taking her into consideration.

    Rush
    CS West Bikes

  24. #24
    Rollin' Stones
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    Farting on rides.

    There is a general "Shrek" rule on rides about farting. Under normal conditions, the rider who is about to expel, will let those around know by saying "gas". That way if you are behind them you at least won't have your mouth open.
    I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!

  25. #25
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    Thanks for your support guys. The force yesterday was unimaginable. I need to figure out a way to harness the energy and let it work for me on command. It would be incredible for hills and sprints.

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