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Thread: Bad Tattoo Idea

  1. #26
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    A midget walks into a house of ill repute. He asks politely for a prostitute. The girls chuckle, and one of the ladies asks to see his member. He gives her a glimpse, and it has a tattoo on it, she can see the word "Shorty" on it.
    She politely declines, so by default a new girl is assigned the task. A while later she comes out of the room with him, looking totally spent. One of the old hands asks how it went. She replies "I didn't charge him a cent.
    When his member reaches full tumorance the tattoo reads "Shorty's Bar and Grill, Tallahassee, Florida".
    "I felt bad because I couldn't wheelie; until I met a man with no bicycle"

  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlg View Post
    He could've had a triple crankset tattoo. Then everyone would know how weak of a rider he was and he could never get a 2x crank.

    one crank arm as well?

    Oooh, man, that is bad.

    How much you want to bet he wears arm warmers with a tank top?

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by junior1210 View Post
    Seat wasn't level.

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlg View Post
    Uhhh, she's young. But not tight, toned, or with it. And that tattoo ain't great now or 20yrs from now
    You're right, and as soon as I saw it I questioned her promiscuity and her lack of discretion.
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    It's made with a mixture of titanium, unobtanium and the freshly harvested dew from the sweaty brows of 16 YO suburban virgins.
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    Don't forget the ground up unicorn horn. That makes it magical.

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retro Grouch View Post
    Yeah, give it a few years and those bars will turn into ape hangers.
    I'd hit it.
    Live vicariously through yourself.
    There are no physical laws that govern the will.

  6. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by junior1210 View Post
    You're right, and as soon as I saw it I questioned her promiscuity and her lack of discretion.
    Not me. I found it refreshingly unambiguous.

    I have to think that people who get neck/face tattoos probably aren't gunning for positions in upper management.

  7. #32
    MCF
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    I resemble that remark. I'll feel pretty stupid when I start riding a recumbent...
    Why did you get a tattoo on your upper back right shoulder?

  8. #33
    MORE MINIMALISM DANG IT!!
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    Bad Tattoo Idea-zissou-tattoo.jpg.......
    Wannabe Minimalist

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCavilia View Post
    How'd you get chainring grease on your left calf? That takes some complicated move.
    Well, he did say he's a noob, so who knows what he was trying to do.

    Anyway, Asian character tattoos are usually a bad idea. My wife is Chinese, and she tells me they're wrong much more often than they are right (she estimates about 2/3rds). Usually, there are strokes that are incorrect or missing - the equivalent of being misspelled. Sometimes they're upside down. Occasionally, they're straight-up gibberish. Chinese characters are made up of specific components called "radicals", and sometimes characters are broken up in inappropriate ways that change the meaning. For example, one time my wife pointed out someone's tattoo that she thinks they were probably trying to say something like spiritual power, but the way the artist split the radicals meant that it actually read "unripe rice".

    If you must get a Chinese character tattoo, ask a native speaker that you know and trust to proofread it first, or better yet, tell them what you want it to say and have them write it out for you. (BTW, I kinda want a Chinese tattoo that says "I can't read this tattoo".)
    Speed solves all problems, except for those things it makes worse.

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by MCF View Post
    Why did you get a tattoo on your upper back right shoulder?
    It's on my left calf. That way he's waiving at everyone who passes me... which is pretty much everyone riding in the same direction I am.

    I know I'm being mocked... I'm just not sure how?
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  11. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCavilia View Post
    How'd you get chainring grease on your left calf? That takes some complicated move.
    drive side cx dismount like Kevin Pauwels?
    one nation, under surveillance with liberty and justice for few

    still not figgering on biggering

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetSpeed View Post
    I have nearly THE SAME tattoo on my right calf! Mine has a picture of my current bicycle and says, "Bikes Direct" written over it.

    My other calf has a tattoo of chainring grease on it except it's really chainring grease cause' I'm a effing' noob.
    Are you riding your bike backwards?

  13. #38
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    Thinking of going around again...
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Bad Tattoo Idea-tattoo-2.jpg  
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  14. #39
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    …..

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    Too old to ride plastic

  15. #40
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    Bad Tattoo Idea

    So what would the Latin equivalent of “Veni, Vidi, Vici” be for the cyclist?

    I came (Veni), I saw (Vidi), I rode (???)

    Veho? Eveho? Any Latin scholars out there?


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    Last edited by Opus51569; 01-28-2019 at 12:56 PM.
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  16. #41
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    Bad Tattoo Idea

    Double post post
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  17. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    So what would the Latin equivalent of “Veni, Vidi, Vici” be for the cyclist?

    I came (Veni), I saw (Vidi), I rode (???)
    It's been done on an Anaerobica jersey: Veni, Vidi, Vomiti.

    (Not a Latin scholar nor do I play one on TV.)

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobf View Post
    It's been done on an Anaerobica jersey: Veni, Vidi, Vomiti.

    (Not a Latin scholar nor do I play one on TV.)
    Mine would say, “Veni then I fell asleep.” 😛

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