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  1. #1
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    Choices, Choices, choices

    Well the good news is that we finally sold our house........

    The bad news is that we are seriously looking for a house & finding our choices limited to:

    - To get exactly what we want in quality and finish, we need to buy about 1,500 SQ ft more than we need. Because of the market, and the circumstances of the seller, we can get that extra SQ ft almost free.(relative to comperable smaller houses)

    - If we stay rigid on the sq ft we need, we have to sacrifice either the quality/finish, or we have to renovate probably above the local market value.

    My wife loves the bigger house, even though she admits it's too big, it has everything she wanted in a house. I'm bothered by the size.........but I feel guilty because I'm the one moving her. Damned if I do, damned if I don't........what would you do & how would you do it?

    Len

    ps......what's up with the notion that you have to update kitchens and baths every 8 years? We looked at several houses that had well thought out kitchens that were built in the late 90's and my wife's first comments were........well, we'd have to update the kitchen. When I pressed, she would look at me like I had 2 heads and say...look, they are white appliances and the cabinet styles are so out of date! To me they function, what's the problem?



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  2. #2
    Seat's not level
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    Buy the bigger house. Quality. Easier to resell than a smaller POC in the future.

    What's the extra 1500 sqf? If it's a spare room or two I'm sure the lounge can come up with ideas for the extra room(s).
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  3. #3
    toomanybikes
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    Hmm,

    When I caused my wife to move here we built a house.

    It is now a number of years later and we are in agreement that the house is probably 50% too big ( and coincidentally it is about 100% larger than the house we moved from).

    We are now counting the days until we can sell this behemoth.

    The problem with the extra feet is that you fill it, with something, but it gets filled.

  4. #4
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chain
    What's the extra 1500 sqf? If it's a spare room or two I'm sure the lounge can come up with ideas for the extra room(s).
    Larger rooms........a study, a formal living room we won't use, extra Bedroom.

    Len



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  5. #5
    Back from the dead
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    what's up with the notion that you have to update kitchens and baths every 8 years?
    Every 8 years? If you did it right, and avoided trendy crap and styles, you should be able to go a lot longer than that.

  6. #6
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    ps......what's up with the notion that you have to update kitchens and baths every 8 years? We looked at several houses that had well thought out kitchens that were built in the late 90's and my wife's first comments were........well, we'd have to update the kitchen. When I pressed, she would look at me like I had 2 heads and say...look, they are white appliances and the cabinet styles are so out of date! To me they function, what's the problem?

    Dated kitchens are often depressing. Just see mine. If I had the ability to put it all back together again...I have this enormous sledgehammer/axe combo jobbie in the garage...

    As for Sq ft...do you guys plan on staying there until you both drop dead? If you don't plan on living out your years there, maybe it's not such a big deal and you could downsize later.

    Oh and congrats on selling your house.

  7. #7
    Adorable Furry Hombre
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    ps......what's up with the notion that you have to update kitchens and baths every 8 years? We looked at several houses that had well thought out kitchens that were built in the late 90's and my wife's first comments were........well, we'd have to update the kitchen. When I pressed, she would look at me like I had 2 heads and say...look, they are white appliances and the cabinet styles are so out of date! To me they function, what's the problem?
    You're not female Len, we will not ever understand

    Can you think of some other use for the extra space? If you're not wanting to put effort into fixing a house, and can get a larger space for no meaningful change in price...I'd go for the larger space. Odds are down the road I'd think of something to do with the extra space.
    "Refreshingly Unconcerned With The Vulgar Exigencies Of Veracity "

  8. #8
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Room 1201
    You're not female Len, we will not ever understand

    Can you think of some other use for the extra space? If you're not wanting to put effort into fixing a house, and can get a larger space for no meaningful change in price...I'd go for the larger space. Odds are down the road I'd think of something to do with the extra space.
    I think the problem I have is that to me it's just almost embarrassing. there is just the 2 of us & the dog. Our current house built on a crawl space is 3,600 Sq ft....it's more house than we need......the house she likes is 4,300 sq ft Main & Upper level and it has a finished basement that is another 2,300 sq ftt (about 1,500 of which is finished).

    And as TMB says....it will get filled.

    Am I being unreasonably obstinate here?

    len



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  9. #9
    corning my own beef
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    You know what they say, "If momma ain't happy......."

    If Mrs Len likes the bigger place (and particularly when the extra sf is 'free'), go for it. If the time ever comes to sell, it will likely be more marketable. Given the option, I would opt for one with too much space as opposed to "just right", but making other unwanted compromises and concessions.

    As to the 8-yr updates ...... I will NEVER understand that. Granted, I live in a 1960's home that is only partially updated. But I am all about utility and function. Whether it's completely up-to-date only matters when it comes to resale. Oh, and then there's the little matter of keeping the wifey happy. nevermind.
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  10. #10
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    Quote Originally Posted by mohair_chair
    Every 8 years? If you did it right, and avoided trendy crap and styles, you should be able to go a lot longer than that.
    I think it's american Marketing at it's best (or worst). 8 years ago, white appliance were the thing, now they are mostly stainless steel......totally different look. Cabinets and faucets have changed equally. All the home mags show the updates, all the new construction has the updates, so when you look at a 10 YO house, it comes off looking old. Frivilous consumption I suspect....but it's like trying to swim up stream.

    Len



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  11. #11
    Adorable Furry Hombre
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    I think the problem I have is that to me it's just almost embarrassing. there is just the 2 of us & the dog. Our current house built on a crawl space is 3,600 Sq ft....it's more house than we need......the house she likes is 4,300 sq ft Main & Upper level and it has a finished basement that is another 2,300 sq ftt (about 1,500 of which is finished).

    And as TMB says....it will get filled.

    Am I being unreasonably obstinate here?

    len
    Unreasonable, I don't think so. I will say those sq ft comparisons do cause me a bit of pause. I know with me and my habits, that space might feel somewhat big and rather empty, although I could find a use for the extra rooms.
    "Refreshingly Unconcerned With The Vulgar Exigencies Of Veracity "

  12. #12
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Your getting the extra space "almost free" and the smaller house will require you to put work into it raising it above market value. Economically it seems to make sense to get the bigger house. Don't be embarrassed by a good deal.

  13. #13
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustTooBig
    You know what they say, "If momma ain't happy......."

    If Mrs Len likes the bigger place (and particularly when the extra sf is 'free'), go for it. If the time ever comes to sell, it will likely be more marketable. Given the option, I would opt for one with too much space as opposed to "just right", but making other unwanted compromises and concessions.

    As to the 8-yr updates ...... I will NEVER understand that. Granted, I live in a 1960's home that is only partially updated. But I am all about utility and function. Whether it's completely up-to-date only matters when it comes to resale. Oh, and then there's the little matter of keeping the wifey happy. nevermind.
    I'm not so sure about the marketability.....I suspect that in the not to distant future, mega houses are going to not be the things people want...rather, they are going to want smaller, more economical, more energy efficient. This is esopecially true where empty nesters are concerned. Problem is I don't know if that's in 5 years or 25.

    I don't get the update thing at all....of course, to me a house is not that important...to my wife, especially moving to a new place, it's her nest....it's the first thing she can get excited about.....it's important to her. Which is why I feel guilty and then resentful for balking.

    len



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  14. #14
    Stumpcake!
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    Big house = More space to keep clean = Plan on hiring a housekeeper to come in at least weekly

    Mrs Tcon was all gong ho about the house we're in now but I hate we only use about half of it. I finally got her to admit its too big. She loved it at first but hates the upkeep on it and would probably jump at the chance to move into something smaller.
    "Indecision may or may not be my problem."

  15. #15
    Seat's not level
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    I think the problem I have is that to me it's just almost embarrassing. there is just the 2 of us & the dog. Our current house built on a crawl space is 3,600 Sq ft....it's more house than we need......the house she likes is 4,300 sq ft Main & Upper level and it has a finished basement that is another 2,300 sq ftt (about 1,500 of which is finished).

    And as TMB says....it will get filled.

    Am I being unreasonably obstinate here?

    len
    The only thing that matters....Just sayin.
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  16. #16
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    Give her the house. You will be happier in the long run.

    Personally, I could live in a shoe box in a large shop, but my wife doesn't see it that way.

  17. #17
    Gruntled
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    I think it's american Marketing at it's best (or worst). 8 years ago, white appliance were the thing, now they are mostly stainless steel......totally different look. Cabinets and faucets have changed equally. All the home mags show the updates, all the new construction has the updates, so when you look at a 10 YO house, it comes off looking old. Frivilous consumption I suspect....but it's like trying to swim up stream.
    I think you're 100% right on. In 2025, we will look at a kitchen with granite counters and stainless steel appliances, and laugh at it like it's 1970s avocado green.

    And, as others have noted, this is one of the areas where the two sexes will never understand one another. She doesn't understand the bike stuff or the stereo, I don't understand the home decorations...
    It's funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Room 1201
    Unreasonable, I don't think so. I will say those sq ft comparisons do cause me a bit of pause. I know with me and my habits, that space might feel somewhat big and rather empty, although I could find a use for the extra rooms.

    That's an enormous home. Mine is only 2100 sq ft and feels almost too big (but it's just me here).

    My folks had a 6000 sq ft house for a while, shaped like a shoebox, and was built into a hillside. I called it Noah's ark.

    Huge homes are huge for one of two main reasons, either large families, or "statement houses." Like you say Len, you will be "making a statement" even though it would not be the statement you'd like to make.

    But who cares what other people think, it's not their business. Do you like the house? Does it feel like "home" when you walk in the door? Or will it be a white elephant that makes you cringe and feel resentful every time you pull in the driveway?

  19. #19
    Spicy Dumpling
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    I'd get the house, keep momma happy and you've got the extra space for the H&B cyclery brothel and bike shop. Or a lot of guests for a lowje ride.
    If I were to beat you senseless with a tire iron, what color would you bleed?..The Missus

  20. #20
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldEndicottHiway
    Huge homes are huge for one of two main reasons, either large families, or "statement houses." Like you say Len, you will be "making a statement" even though it would not be the statement you'd like to make.

    But who cares what other people think, it's not their business. Do you like the house? Does it feel like "home" when you walk in the door? Or will it be a white elephant that makes you cringe and feel resentful every time you pull in the driveway?
    That's the thing....it's a beautiful house that has been wonderfully maintained. It's well appointed and very high quality. It's a bargain (relativly) because the sellers have been relocated and it's now owned by the relocation company (who just want to unload it). And my Wife absoulutly loves it.

    But it's just not me. It feels ostentatious. but my wife loves it and needs to have something to get excioted about after the last 14 months of hell and moving to an unfamiliar city.

    I need to probably just get over myself and give her what she wants....but I don't want to resent it, and I am struggling with how to do both.

    len



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  21. #21
    Fat'r + Slow'r than TMB
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J

    ps......what's up with the notion that you have to update kitchens and baths every 8 years? We looked at several houses that had well thought out kitchens that were built in the late 90's and my wife's first comments were........well, we'd have to update the kitchen. When I pressed, she would look at me like I had 2 heads and say...look, they are white appliances and the cabinet styles are so out of date! To me they function, what's the problem?
    Your not a woman you wouldn't understand.
    The only draw back to getting a bigger house for free (so to speak) is that it will come with higher utilities, insurance, and taxes. Those things will only go up and never go away. Me I would get the bigger house but tha's the way I roll.
    Just fast enough to know I am slow.

  22. #22
    corning my own beef
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    I'm not so sure about the marketability.....I suspect that in the not to distant future, mega houses are going to not be the things people want...rather, they are going to want smaller, more economical, more energy efficient. This is esopecially true where empty nesters are concerned. Problem is I don't know if that's in 5 years or 25.
    len
    Whoa.... I didn't understand the magnitude of the scale issue when I wrote that. Damn ... you're right: 'mega-house' kinda sums it up. But since I live in 2700sf, I don't even know what I'd do with that kind of monster footage besides move my bike shop into the house!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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  23. #23
    Stumpcake!
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    Quote Originally Posted by VaughnA
    I'd get the house, keep momma happy and you've got the extra space for the H&B cyclery brothel and bike shop. Or a lot of guests for a lowje ride.
    Bingo!
    "Indecision may or may not be my problem."

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    But it's just not me. It feels ostentatious. but my wife loves it and needs to have something to get excioted about after the last 14 months of hell and moving to an unfamiliar city.

    I need to probably just get over myself and give her what she wants....but I don't want to resent it, and I am struggling with how to do both.

    len

    I wish I could help there. She's giving up alot for you. This is the kind o compromise, if you can make it willingly, that make for a happier marriage, at least that's what I'm told.

  25. #25
    Glue Sniffer
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    All this talk about the inside of the house, but for me, it would all come down to where the house is.

    I'm a big believer in buying a house so that you don't have to live in that house. Is one next to a park? A bike path? A seedy alleyway filled with hookers and/or blow?

    Get that one.

    What's the drawback to free square footage? The time spent cleaning it, filling it, refilling it... Getting too much house is the most direct route to letting your stuff own you. Of course, this is coming from a minimalist, so take that for what it's worth.

    But mostly, a 4300 sq. ft. home will never really feel cozy.
    Cats just don't feel safe on a moving bicycle, no matter how much duct tape you use.

    Yup, I've geeked out and started a blog: www.adventuresinprocreating.blogspot.com

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