feeling like a jacka$$ (parenting content)
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  1. #1
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    feeling like a jacka$$ (parenting content)

    I'm feeling like a douchenozzle at this moment. My kiddo is only 12 weeks, and I guess as a disclaimer I should mention that my wife and I have a great marriage where both sides are happy etc...

    Tonight I brought a crap mood from the office home with me and picked a fight with the wife. A bit of screaming back and forth and a door slam or two etc...doesn't happen often, but it does happen. I'm feeling bad since it was in front of my kid. I realize that at 12 weeks I doubt very much that he was even cognizant of what was happening and I'm fairly certain that he won't remember it or hate me for life etc... , but I feel like a jackass. I grew up in a household full of screaming and I always swore I would never do it on front of my own kid, and here it is, 12 weeks later and I screwed up already. I know that I can only learn from this and work towards not doing it again, but I am disappointing in myself. The wifey and I just made up (code) and had a long discussion about not arguing in front of the kiddo....

    Sorry - had to ramble a bit. Here's a picture of the kiddo -


  2. #2
    Frog Whisperer
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    and it'll be the last fight in front of the kid ever....................
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

  3. #3
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    Cute lil' feller...looks like he's thinking "Sssay, what's all the hollerin' about??"

  4. #4
    tofurkey hunting
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    Quote Originally Posted by Touch0Gray
    and it'll be the last fight in front of the kid ever....................
    maybe she can pay him not to come home in a crappy mood...

    //sorry, welty, couldn't resist.

    ///arguments happen. self-control is much harder to change, but much more important to the equation. my $.02, ymmv, hth, etc
    i know i painted you a prettier picture, baby...my fiction beats the hell out of my truth

  5. #5
    We're no better than mice
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qstick333
    A bit of screaming back and forth and a door slam or two etc...doesn't happen often, but it does happen.
    Just try to be easy. It wasn't you who pushed a child the size of a bowling ball out between your legs.

    Last edited by EverydayRide; 09-16-2009 at 06:45 PM.

  6. #6
    Jerkhard Sirdribbledick
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    I think at your kid's age it's probably not a big deal. Bad energy, maybe, but I'm pretty sure the attention span will chase that right out the door. I will say that I hated seeing my parents argue when i was growing up. Neither was abusive, but I still hated it. So I guess the good thing is you did it, you know how it made you feel, and so maybe you'll stop yourself next time. At least the door slamming.
    "He groaned when we hung the rope over the tree but was relieved to see the white pinata."
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  7. #7
    Pedal Master
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    Shake it off bro, just walk away or go for a ride when things get tough.
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  8. #8
    Shirtcocker
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    Wait till you're screaming at your kid when he's older. It will happen. Nobody is a perfect parent all the time.
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrRoebuck
    I think at your kid's age it's probably not a big deal. Bad energy, maybe, but I'm pretty sure the attention span will chase that right out the door. I will say that I hated seeing my parents argue when i was growing up. Neither was abusive, but I still hated it. So I guess the good thing is you did it, you know how it made you feel, and so maybe you'll stop yourself next time. At least the door slamming.

    Definitely a learning experience. I grew up in a household that had yelling as a standard daily occurrence so I really want to make every effort not to repeat that nonsense. I appreciate the feedback....

  10. #10
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    Thanks for all the responses - I appreciate the feedback and am making every effort to not repeat the occurrence. Being aware that it bothered me seems to be a good start.....

  11. #11
    tofurkey hunting
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    Wait till you're screaming at your kid when he's older. It will happen. Nobody is a perfect parent all the time.
    yup, i snapped at the kiddo (9) the other morning...i guess so long as it bothers you b/c it's a slip up or the exception to the rule, then you're at least headed in the right direction...

    it's when slipping up is the norm, that "imperfect" parenting becomes "crappy/not so good/whatever" parenting
    i know i painted you a prettier picture, baby...my fiction beats the hell out of my truth

  12. #12
    We're no better than mice
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qstick333
    Definitely a learning experience. I grew up in a household that had yelling as a standard daily occurrence so I really want to make every effort not to repeat that nonsense. I appreciate the feedback....
    Best of luck, and don't under estimate having your child babysat by a relative and taking your wife out on a real date .....

    LIKE

    SOON.
    Last edited by EverydayRide; 09-16-2009 at 06:46 PM.

  13. #13
    Anti-Hero
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qstick333
    ... Being aware that it bothered me seems to be a good start.....
    That's what I was gonna say- just the fact that you realized that you eff'd up a little and feel bad is a big step. You're gonna be aight.
    No turkey unless it's a club sandwich
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  14. #14
    tofurkey hunting
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea138
    That's what I was gonna say- just the fact that you realized that you eff'd up a little and feel bad is a big step. You're gonna be aight.
    +1eleventy!!1!!1
    i know i painted you a prettier picture, baby...my fiction beats the hell out of my truth

  15. #15
    needs more sleep
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    Yep don't sweat it. your kid will realize its normal for 'happy' couples to argue too. They need to see all emotions.
    I gliff snue

  16. #16
    LWP
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bocephus Jones II
    Wait till you're screaming at your kid when he's older. It will happen. Nobody is a perfect parent all the time.
    Yep. The kid (9 y.o.) got in a little trouble at school a couple days ago and tried to cover it up by leaving her journal at school because she knows getting in trouble at school means getting in trouble when she gets home. It was pretty minor but we had some problems with getting her to settle in and do what she was supposed to at school at the beginning of last year. She's very energetic and getting into the groove of being still and quiet after a summer of running free isn't easy for her I guess. I instantly thought "here we go again" and gave her a louder than necessary lecture which she just stood and listened to. I started to leave the room, turned back to say something less loud and she was still standing in the same spot with a tear running down her face and said simply "You yelled at me". I felt like the worlds biggest schmuck.
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  17. #17
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    Just be careful that you don't subconciously start fights so you can have makeup sex later. Not code.

  18. #18
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Okay, you gotta stop posting that picture. I can only handle so much cuteness at once.

  19. #19
    Scary Teddy Bear
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    Quote Originally Posted by Touch0Gray
    and it'll be the last fight in front of the kid ever....................

    Yeah, no SH*T.

    My wife and I had that discussion too. Guess what, we still fight occasionally in front of the kid. We do try to keep our voices down, and we try to make it civil.

    There was an argument about 10 months ago that got bad, I was so pissed, I slammed a door so hard that it broke the doorjam, and my daughter started crying. I felt like such a heel.
    "I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it." John Stuart Mill, 1866

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  20. #20
    Master of my Domain
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    Ok, I'm one who has commented recently on a marital discord. This is the 3rd post today mentioning they have a great marriage. While I'm still married, and am committed to staying that way - please understand that after 15 years of marriage and living together for 2 years prior to that, and dating for 3 years prior to that, that after 20 years sometimes mole hills can become mountains. The need to preface a small problem with a 12 week old offspring is not necessary. People with kids get it, those without probably understand it but won't get the relevance that you are trying for. That is all.


    edit**** sorry, I'm pissy tonight, but I stand by my comment.

  21. #21
    waterproof*
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    Whenever I get crossways with the spouse, I find it useful to sit down and have a nice bowl of soup, mull things over, get my head on right again.
    * not actually a Rock Star

  22. #22
    Misfit Toy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creakyknees
    Whenever I get crossways with the spouse, I find it useful to sit down and have a nice bowl of soup, mull things over, get my head on right again.
    And if things are really bad, a grilled cheese sammich.
    It's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone.

    Don't make me go all honey badger on your ass

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