Former Best Man talkin' smack about former wife - what to do?
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  1. #1
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    Former Best Man talkin' smack about former wife - what to do?

    I know I've done some smack-talkin' on this forum, but mostly I lurk. And I DO appreciate that there is a lot of good advice given here. That said, here goes...

    Twelve years ago, met a really cool chick. Nine years ago, decided to get married. Asked a close friend I've known since college to be my best man. He did a stand-up job. Four years ago, the cool chick and I divorced. Six months ago, met an even cooler woman. Pretty, smart, musician, scientist, fat income, and ready-made family (2 teenage girls). Took the new woman and one of the daughters up to Denver to see Blues Traveler, and the former best man joins us. While I'm getting beers, he "volunteers" that the Ex was crazy and came on to him before we married, and makes it clear that it's OK if this new woman does the same. Then as we're leaving the venue, he picks a fight with an off-duty cop and I have to drag him into the car.

    WTF?

    The sh!t about the Ex was all lies. If she had came on to him he would have told me back then.

    Do I call him out on this? Just say nothing and drop him? Stab him in the liverz?

    What sayeth the Lounge?

  2. #2
    Cap'n of Industry
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    Write him off man.

  3. #3
    waterproof*
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    if he's a long time best bud, it's worth having a WTF? conversation with him, one to one
    * not actually a Rock Star

  4. #4
    You said it, man!!
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    Sounds like alcohol, bravado and testosterone...I'd cut him out of the picture permanently.

  5. #5
    You said it, man!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creakyknees View Post
    if he's a long time best bud, it's worth having a WTF? conversation with him, one to one
    ^^ True.

  6. #6
    corning my own beef
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    only you can determine how much, if any, emotional energy you want to put into a WTF conversation with a guy who has clearly stretched the limits of douchebaggery.
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  7. #7
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    considering he sounded druzunk since you had to pull him away from the coppah. I would just let it go....unless there is a history of carp like this? Me thinks there is more to story

  8. #8
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    there is a reason you went through the D...and you still have your buddy. Have a talk with him letting him know he was out of line. Or, kick him in the nads can write him off...

  9. #9
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    Unfriend him.
    If your opinion differs from mine, ..........Too bad.
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  10. #10
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    Buy him a scented candle.

  11. #11
    the fist
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    worthless w/out pixxors
    FlexiSexual

  12. #12
    Steaming piles of opinion
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    A good habit is as hard to break as a bad one..

  13. #13
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    Sounds like drunken nonsense to me. I'd let it go.

  14. #14
    donuts?
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    sounds like he could use a balloon.
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  15. #15
    still shedding season
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustTooBig View Post
    only you can determine how much, if any, emotional energy you want to put into a WTF conversation with a guy who has clearly stretched the limits of douchebaggery.
    Right - once, maybe...

  16. #16
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Make some light of what a d-bag he was, while he's sober. Sounds like drunken foolishness.

  17. #17
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    You should have let the off-duty cop kick his ass.

  18. #18
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    It's crazy how crazy people can be when drunk. Either way, if he's a long time friend, you should know how much the friendship means to the both of you and know whether this is an out of character thing etc so, I'm certain you already have an idea what would work best.
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  19. #19
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    Bros before Hoes....

  20. #20
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    How close were you before this incident?

    That should dictate your response.

    IMO

    Len



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  21. #21
    35mph Average
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    I'd go for the wtf chat , the off duty cop mustof been looking at him wierdly
    undefeated winner of the lantern rouge

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creakyknees View Post
    if he's a long time best bud, it's worth having a WTF? conversation with him, one to one
    I agree with this. My best friend from college and I had a falling out over a stripper. For me to tell the story would take half a year. Suffice it to say I caught him in a lie during the two day phone conversation we had over a stripper and he and I didn't talk for 2 years. Right before I law school graduation, he sent me an e-mail and said "You still mad at me?" That was 12 years ago. We discussed the issue some more and put it behind us. Not 6 months later, he was asking me if he should lend his girflriend $30,000. He followed my advice. 30 months later I was the best man at his wedding, which surprised the crap out of me. 6 years ago he was in my wedding.

    No relationships are completely smooth, whether they involve best friends or the opposite sex. If you care about the relationship, communication is key.

    If I were in your shoes, I would just talk to him while alcohol isn't involved and there is no need for bravado. I'd tell him that I don't appreciate the comments about the ex or the new woman, period, and that if they were actually true I would need more evidence than just his word against my wife's word because I trust my wife just as much as I trust him.

    Ultimately, it depends on how close you are to him. Me, I have 3 best friends, and the guy above is one of them. Another is from law school and another is from high school. There are a couple of guys that I have gotten to know over the past 10 years that are knocking on the "best friend" door.
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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by masfish1967 View Post
    Bros before Hoes....
    And then there is real life. Haven't really ever heard anybody say "Bros before wives" and have seen some wives actually tear blood brothers apart.

    There is another saying that my mom likes. "Do not get between the sheets."
    “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.” Modified by unknown from Bovard's original quote<o:p></o:p>

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  24. #24
    Good news everyone!
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    The nerve of some guys. I mean.. to get drunk and say inappropriate stuff? Who does that, honestly!




    Oh wait. We all have

  25. #25
    hit it
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    Get drunk with him then punch him in the face. Add in a couple of kidney shots for good measure.

    No sucker punches though, you have to call him out on being a DB then knock him the fock out.
    Quote Originally Posted by Scotty2Hotty View Post
    But I'm not a douche. I'm awesome.

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