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  1. #751
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    All about the bass.
    Last edited by Eretz; 10-30-2018 at 02:28 AM.
    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together
    -


  2. #752
    RoadBikeReview Member
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  3. #753
    Schuylkill Trail Bum
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  4. #754
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    I laughed. I know. I'm a horrible person.


  5. #755
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    Billy Redden never strummed a stroke on a banjo, but the film lived on.

    A sad moment in Bandit History for Burt Reynolds. RIP


    Last edited by Eretz; 09-15-2018 at 05:52 PM.
    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together
    -


  6. #756
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    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  7. #757
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    I had a job interview this morning. Question number one was "Tell us a joke." I'll admit, all of the prep work I did did NOT involve planning a joke. Plus, my sense of humor is typically dry, full of British humor, puns, and dad jokes.

    So, I rattled off the first one that popped into my head: the one where the duck walks into the bar asking if they have any gwapes.
    I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

  8. #758
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    Quote Originally Posted by old_fuji View Post
    I had a job interview this morning. Question number one was "Tell us a joke." I'll admit, all of the prep work I did did NOT involve planning a joke. Plus, my sense of humor is typically dry, full of British humor, puns, and dad jokes.

    So, I rattled off the first one that popped into my head: the one where the duck walks into the bar asking if they have any gwapes.
    When ducks fly upside down, they quack up?
    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together
    -


  9. #759
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    This dude ate a cake made of hair.

    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together
    -


  10. #760
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    Quote Originally Posted by old_fuji View Post
    I had a job interview this morning. Question number one was "Tell us a joke." I'll admit, all of the prep work I did did NOT involve planning a joke. Plus, my sense of humor is typically dry, full of British humor, puns, and dad jokes.

    So, I rattled off the first one that popped into my head: the one where the duck walks into the bar asking if they have any gwapes.
    Unless you were interviewing to be the warm up comic before the main event at some resort in the Catskills... I think the interviewer was being a jackass.

    On-demand joke in a stressful setting? That's a Freakout Friday Freakout.

    But based on your unfortunate experience, I'm now planning to arm myself with a short one line joke. Your joke is the one where the duck walks into a bar and asks "got any grapes?" (I always heard it grapes, not gwapes), which ends with the duck asking whether the bartender has any nails. (Ducks are always funny in jokes.)

    Here's my interview joke:

    A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Gimme a beer and a mop."

  11. #761
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eretz View Post
    When ducks fly upside down, they quack up?
    Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "You got any gwapes?"
    Bartender says "No, go home."

    Next day, the same duck walks into the bar and again asks "You got any gwapes?"
    Bartender says "No, we don't have any grapes. Go home."

    Next day, the duck walks back in, looks sternly at the bartender, and asks "...you got any gwapes?"
    Bartender says "No, we don't have any grapes, and if you ask me again, I'm going to staple your face to the floor."

    Next day, the duck walks in, makes eye contact to assert dominance, and asks "You got any staples?"
    Bartender says "No..."
    The duck replies "Got any gwapes?"
    I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

  12. #762
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPlKE View Post
    Unless you were interviewing to be the warm up comic before the main event at some resort in the Catskills... I think the interviewer was being a jackass.

    On-demand joke in a stressful setting? That's a Freakout Friday Freakout.

    But based on your unfortunate experience, I'm now planning to arm myself with a short one line joke. Your joke is the one where the duck walks into a bar and asks "got any grapes?" (I always heard it grapes, not gwapes), which ends with the duck asking whether the bartender has any nails. (Ducks are always funny in jokes.)

    Here's my interview joke:

    A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Gimme a beer and a mop."
    Yeah, it was one of those trying to trip you up...like asking what animal you'd be ("I'd be a cheetah cuz I'm, like, fast and cute" was a serious answer that I'd heard in one of these situations), or forming each response as though it were a Jeopardy question.
    I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

  13. #763
    Schuylkill Trail Bum
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    Quote Originally Posted by old_fuji View Post
    Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "You got any gwapes?"
    Bartender says "No, go home."

    Next day, the same duck walks into the bar and again asks "You got any gwapes?"
    Bartender says "No, we don't have any grapes. Go home."

    Next day, the duck walks back in, looks sternly at the bartender, and asks "...you got any gwapes?"
    Bartender says "No, we don't have any grapes, and if you ask me again, I'm going to staple your face to the floor."

    Next day, the duck walks in, makes eye contact to assert dominance, and asks "You got any staples?"
    Bartender says "No..."
    The duck replies "Got any gwapes?"
    That's the one!


    Horse walks into bar.

    Bear says: "Why the long .. face?"

    Horse says: "Why the big paws?"




    Guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can use the mens room: "I'm talking salts!" Bartender says yes and points toward the mens room.

    Minutes later, there's a loud crashing and repeated clunking sound coming from the bathroom, as well as a terrible stench.

    Bartender opens the door to find the guy upside down, with his pants around his ankles and poo all over the walls and ceiling. "Hey buddy, what kind of salts are you taking?"

    "Somersaults!"

  14. #764
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPlKE View Post
    Guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can use the mens room: "I'm talking salts!" Bartender says yes and points toward the mens room.

    Minutes later, there's a loud crashing and repeated clunking sound coming from the bathroom, as well as a terrible stench.

    Bartender opens the door to find the guy upside down, with his pants around his ankles and poo all over the walls and ceiling. "Hey buddy, what kind of salts are you taking?"

    "Somersaults!"
    I would've guessed bath.
    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  15. #765
    usually unusual
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    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  16. #766
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Just a guy being chased by a chicken.

    https://twitter.com/BroazM/status/1049423597922672641

  17. #767
    What the what???
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtrac View Post
    Just a guy being chased by a chicken.

    https://twitter.com/BroazM/status/1049423597922672641
    Im assuming hell choke it later to show it whos boss...


    This is not my signature
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  18. #768
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    Tatars, Ukraine

    I'm listening to my Russia Channels on you tube, but something подходящее.

    Last edited by Eretz; 10-12-2018 at 08:00 PM.
    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together
    -


  19. #769
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtrac View Post
    This was captioned "Real life venn diagram."

    Attachment 323454

    LOLOL. Scary.
    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  20. #770
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eretz View Post
    I'm listening to my Russia Channels on you tube, but something подходящее.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GnG7R93hfw

  21. #771
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    Back on topic
    Last edited by Eretz; 10-14-2018 at 05:16 AM.

  22. #772
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    Great song
    Last edited by Eretz; 10-20-2018 at 05:53 PM.

  23. #773
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    I was going to put this in its own "slow news day" thread and realized it didn't warrant even that.

    Hackensack NJ man has eaten pizza every day for over 30 years

  24. #774
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    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  25. #775
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    Last edited by Fredrico; 10-17-2018 at 07:21 AM.

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