Hitting On Teh Opposite Sex– Mens' Style vs Womens' Style
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  1. #1
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    Hitting On Teh Opposite Sex– Mens' Style vs Womens' Style

    I remember reading a psychology article sometime back that stated that men and women were VERY different in who they chose to hit-on/flirt-with/ask-out, in terms of judging relative attractiveness levels.

    The short n' sweet of it went something like this:


    Men: "Hoo boy, lookit at that SUPERMODEL walkin' down the street! Daddy likes. Now, I may be five-foot-two and balding with a gut, but, who CARES? It's all about CONFIDENCE! Here I come, baby!!"

    Women: *carefully assesses passing male's attractiveness level vs her own attractiveness level, and engages males that are neither 'above' nor 'below' her (the former won't remain faithful, and she 'can do better' than the latter), but rather pursues and/or is open to the overtures of those whom she judges to be at her own level*


    I think there's some truth to this, but not a great deal.

    I mean, yes, many of us guys have either known or heard of the kind of man described above, the guy who'll hit on gals who are out of his league ALL DAY LONG and not care. And yes, I would say women are a bit more discerning on average in who they hit on.

    But that said, I think many men are actually more protective of their own egos than is commonly believed- we don't like to go into probable 'no win' scenarios, and rejection DOES still hurt, even if you're a guy and you've experienced it before.

    Far as the ladies go, I think I'd almost discount the entire 'women pick men of their own attractiveness level' thing altogether.

    IME, women often seem to go after guys who are juuust a notch or two ABOVE their own attractiveness level, i.e. they're shopping, and want the best they can get, without it being such a ridiculous mismatch that the chances of success are very low and/or even if she does get him in the short-term, the guy is just going to ditch her or cheat on her later on anyway.

    Women are very... practical in that way, I think. Us men may be a bit like produce to them, in a way.

    Far as some mens' impracticality/clownish hitting on 10s when they're 4s goes, even that can sometimes work, so long as you commit fully to it. There was a friend of a friend of mine in college who, frankly, was quite short and physically pretty repulsive, but he asked out like 50-100 beautiful women a week, and eventually, one would say yes.

    So, he was always dating lookers. Must've had an ego of steel, because he was obnoxious and very lounge-lizardly about it, and would often get his face slapped or cursed out. I think he almost got off on it.

    Guess it goes to show that you can break 'the rules' through sheer, blind, dumb persistence... or, never underestimate the power of willful ignorance of your own station.
    .
    Last edited by SystemShock; 02-18-2011 at 07:40 PM.
    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  2. #2
    Frog Whisperer
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    lets not over analyze this.....most guys would hit anything that doesn't hit back!

    Women....not so much!
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

    "that was like trying to teach a goldfish how to play basketball over the phone."

  3. #3
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    I've noticed you around.

    I find you very attractive.

    Will you go to bed with me?

  4. #4
    feelin' Freddie Mercury
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    Better 'hit back', ToG.

    Though I'm sure Argentius' attractiveness level is through teh roof.
    .
    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  5. #5
    Genitive Declensioner
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    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock
    So, he was always dating lookers. Must've had an ego of steel, because he was obnoxious and very lounge-lizardly about it, and would often get his face slapped or cursed out. I think he almost got off on it.
    reminds me of a stand up line I heard once tho can't remember who said it:

    I ask every attractive woman I meet if she'd like to fvck me. 99% of the time I get slapped in the face. It's the 1%, I live for...
    Big Fan of the Callipygian Way
    "The collards tore my wife's stomach up and with her being pregnant and constipated it made for a smelly ride to the cabin in north Georgia." -gut
    "The term "steeping" brings to mind "tea-bagging" and, on far too many levels, I'm simply not comfortable with that." -antonio_b
    "People think maggots are a bad thing, but I'll bet they ate most of the feces he has been sitting in for the last two years. Go maggots! -Mohair

  6. #6
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  7. #7
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    Today we were discussing this at work, with a fifty-something, very gay co-worker who kept asking us (two straight women) who WE thought were "hot."

    He's always drooling over the young interns, and is shameless about finding nearly every remotely-attractive guy "hot" in some way. He even teases some of the younger straight guys, hitting on them (half-jokingly) as if he has a shot.

    My co-worker and I concluded that we (personally) don't really "rate" our co-workers, because we just don't think of any of them sexually. Seems like a waste of time and energy. The young buff guys who are full of themselves are just cartoonish. The personalities also get in the way. There's eye candy, but mostly it's gay men so we don't lust so much.

    There are a couple of women we know who flirt with just about everybody: The less attractive women flirt with the older guys, and get loads of attention; the attractive flirts seem to be busy with the cartoonishly buff straight guys.

    Like men, women will be happy to date a "hot" guy, but could do with something lower-maintenance for a long-term situation.

  8. #8
    All I wanted was a Pepsi!
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    What's the explanations for the hot chicks who date/marry complete toads?
    "If you have the guts to be yourself, other people'll pay your price." - Rabbit Angstrom

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemonlime
    What's the explanations for the hot chicks who date/marry complete toads?


    .
    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  10. #10
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    well let's see

    guy has to reach deep into his bag of tricks to get some play

    gal "wanna go home with me?"

    one equals work, rejection, and the occasional moment of glory

    the other, shooting fish in a barrel
    one nation, under surveillance with liberty and justice for few

    still not figgering on biggering

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by atpjunkie
    guy has to reach deep into his bag of tricks to get some play

    gal "wanna go home with me?"

    one equals work, rejection, and the occasional moment of glory

    the other, shooting fish in a barrel
    Really? I do not feel like a fish in a barrel. I have said 'No' to women offering teh sex at times. Pretty women, too.

    One was because she was really, really drunk.
    Another was because I didn't know her at all and it felt pretty clingy and desperate.
    Another was because I felt like (well, more like knew) I was being used and I actually had very strong feelings for her.
    Another was because she was a friend and it just felt weird as hell.
    There are other instances.

    I don't mention the above so as to appear as some sort of 'mack-daddy ladies man' (<-- which I think would be measured by how much sex you actually have, as opposed to how much you don't have)... just to show that it's possible for guys to say no.

    I'm sure I'm not alone in having done so.

    Also, in retrospect, some of the other occasions not mentioned were just me being a bit of a chickensh*t. In college, especially, if I felt like it could lead to a very serious relationship, I ran the other way.

    It's a wonder I had sex at all in college, frankly. But somehow I did.




    / Anticipated smart-ass reply: "You sure you're straight?". Yes, I am.
    .
    Last edited by SystemShock; 02-19-2011 at 01:20 PM.
    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock

    .
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    Brickhouse Blog

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea138
    Bike as k0d3?
    A good habit is as hard to break as a bad one..

  14. #14
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    Salman is teh hotness, no doubt about it.
    A good habit is as hard to break as a bad one..

  15. #15
    Windrider (Stubborn)
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    I love generalizations. IME no 2 men or women behave in the same way when it comes to the opposed sex.

    Len



    "Evil....is the complete lack of Empathy!"

    ""We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. " Aristotle

    No one is as bad as the worst thing they have done & no one is as good as the best thing they have done.........think of that when you feel like you understand someone.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by danl1
    Salman is teh hotness, no doubt about it.
    The beard/eyebrows probably tickle her.

    either that or she goes for guys who don't wear belts.

  17. #17
    RCA
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    HER DIARY

    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.
    I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

    Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.
    He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
    He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

    On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
    I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
    When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

    Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.
    To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.
    He fell asleep -I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    HIS DIARY

    My Snowmobile wouldn't start today, been trying to figure it out all day, but at least I got laid.
    We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm."

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    I love generalizations. IME no 2 men or women behave in the same way when it comes to the opposed sex.

    Len
    I think that's generalizing things too much.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    I love generalizations. IME no 2 men or women behave in the same way when it comes to the opposed sex.

    Len
    I don't understand women at all.....and i have a wife, 3 daughters, a mom, two sisters a mother in law and 4 sister in laws......I WILL generalize about that!
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

    "that was like trying to teach a goldfish how to play basketball over the phone."

  20. #20
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    I have as well

    Quote Originally Posted by SystemShock
    Really? I do not feel like a fish in a barrel. I have said 'No' to women offering teh sex at times. Pretty women, too.

    One was because she was really, really drunk.
    Another was because I didn't know her at all and it felt pretty clingy and desperate.
    Another was because I felt like (well, more like knew) I was being used and I actually had very strong feelings for her.
    Another was because she was a friend and it just felt weird as hell.
    There are other instances.

    I don't mention the above so as to appear as some sort of 'mack-daddy ladies man' (<-- which I think would be measured by how much sex you actually have, as opposed to how much you don't have, in any case)... just to show that it's possible for guys to say no.

    I'm sure I'm not alone in having done so.

    Also, in retrospect, some of the other occasions not mentioned were just me being a bit of a chickensh*t. In college, especially, if I felt like it could lead to a very serious relationship, I ran the other way.

    It's a wonder I had sex at all in college, frankly. But somehow I did.

    / Anticipated smart-ass reply: "You sure you're straight?". Yes, I am.
    .
    for many of the same reasons
    but all they have to do is move on to the next desirable choice

    all I'm saying is if a man really wants to get some it ain't guaranteed it's gonna happen
    for a woman I'd say if she really needs it, it's a done deal
    one nation, under surveillance with liberty and justice for few

    still not figgering on biggering

  21. #21
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    LOL! Guyz r horny and dum! Girlz r emotional and dum! LOL!

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by danl1
    Bike as k0d3?
    A floating rear end.

  23. #23
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  24. #24
    Good news everyone!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Argentius
    I've noticed you around.

    I find you very attractive.

    Will you go to bed with me?


    At least buy me a drink first, damn.

  25. #25
    feelin' Freddie Mercury
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    Quote Originally Posted by Len J
    I love generalizations. IME no 2 men or women behave in the same way when it comes to the opposed sex.
    That was indeed the problem I had with the psychology article... I felt it over-generalized to some extent.

    That said though, it's a bit naive and/or overly PC to think that men and women are exactly the same in our psychology... there are differences based in gender. But all those differences do is indicate behavioral tendencies, not absolutes.
    .
    Monkhouse: I want to go like my Dad did – peacefully, in his sleep, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    System: Fake news?? Trump's a Fake President, for God's sake.

    Plat: I'd rather fellate a syphilitic goat than own a Cervelo.

    Homer: I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

    Seam: Saw Bjork poop onstage back in the day. It blew my teenage mind


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