learn me how to hunt wild game
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  1. #1
    Strained coccyx etc etc
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    learn me how to hunt wild game

    i don't wanna do it often, but want to be able to hunt:

    *turkey
    *deer
    *dove
    *hogs, if there are any in west TN

    don't ask, just tell.

    word to teh illuminati.

    etc etc.

    using:

    .22
    7.62x39
    12ga

    other recommendations welcomed.

    and i will be buying a compound bow soon.

    Last edited by haiku d'etat; 06-14-2006 at 03:57 PM.
    One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

  2. #2
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    Step one: Go to store.

    Step two: throw frozen turkey down one of the aisles.

    Step three: chase after said turkey leaving nothing standing in your path.

    You've hunted down and caught a turkey.



    joe
    'They say gold paint on the palace gates comes from the teeth of pensioners
    They're so tired of shooting protest singers that they hardly mention us
    While fountains fill with second-hand perfume and sodden trading stamps
    They'll hang the bullies and the louts that dampen down the day" - EC

  3. #3
    Strained coccyx etc etc
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    i want to know how to do dis in teh wild. with what i have on hand. etc.

    ////moreon.
    One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

  4. #4
    Sticky Valentine
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    Quote Originally Posted by haiku d'etat
    i want to know how to do dis in teh wild. with what i have on hand. etc.

    ////moreon.


    What are you doing to that guy in your avatar?




    joe
    'They say gold paint on the palace gates comes from the teeth of pensioners
    They're so tired of shooting protest singers that they hardly mention us
    While fountains fill with second-hand perfume and sodden trading stamps
    They'll hang the bullies and the louts that dampen down the day" - EC

  5. #5
    Strained coccyx etc etc
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    that's Hank, and he's scoooooling me.

    http://21361.com/
    One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by haiku d'etat
    i don't wanna do it often, but want to be able to hunt:

    *turkey
    *deer
    *dove
    *hogs, if there are any in west TN

    don't ask, just tell.

    word to teh illuminati.

    etc etc.

    using:

    .22
    7.62x39
    12ga

    other recommendations welcomed.

    and i will be buying a compound bow soon.

    For turkey come on up to the USF. Maine's wild turkey re-populating program has worked a little too well. Damn things are everywhere.

  7. #7
    If You See Kay
    Reputation: DeaconBlues's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by haiku d'etat
    i don't wanna do it often, but want to be able to hunt:

    *turkey
    *deer
    *dove
    *hogs, if there are any in west TN

    don't ask, just tell.

    word to teh illuminati.

    etc etc.

    using:

    .22
    7.62x39
    12ga

    other recommendations welcomed.

    and i will be buying a compound bow soon.

    A good shotgun will cover you for all of the above, you'll just need to change barrels for deer (slug barrel w/Weaver scope mounts).

    The .22 is good for keeping rats & raccoons away from camp.

    7.62 X 39 can take deer/hog and maybe elk (maybe), but IMnsHO, the choices of quality projectiles for hunting would have me looking towards a better rifle. There is very little a .30-'06 can't do and you should be able to find ammo in one form or another just about everywhere. Probably America's most popular chambering. .308 Winchester (often lumped with 7.62 NATO, but different head spacing) is a good round if you are looking for "commonality" with the blue helmets just in case you need to use their ammo one day soon here in the future;-)

    One thing about a good hunting rifle is the optics will set you back as much if not more than the firearm itself.

    The fun part is pullin' apart scat and analysing what your querry has been eating so you can anticipate it's daily pattern of movement. Freshness counts!

    That's a start for you anyway.

    Deek
    "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese"--unknown

  8. #8
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    I thought that this thread was asking advise on how score with wild crazy chicks.
    Never mind.
    If your opinion differs from mine, ..........Too bad.
    .
    How would you like it if Hitler killed you
    Dogbert.

    I>U

    Buying parts to hang on your bike is always easier than getting fit.

    If you feel wimpy and weak, get out and train more, ya wee lassie!

    If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today!

  9. #9
    Scary Teddy Bear
    Reputation: physasst's Avatar
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    well

    Quote Originally Posted by haiku d'etat
    i don't wanna do it often, but want to be able to hunt:

    *turkey
    *deer
    *dove
    *hogs, if there are any in west TN

    don't ask, just tell.

    word to teh illuminati.

    etc etc.

    using:

    .22
    7.62x39
    12ga

    other recommendations welcomed.

    and i will be buying a compound bow soon.


    Bowhunting is the ONLY way to hunt deer, IMO at least. Basics- You need to decide what your weapon of choice is. Then you need to decide whether or not you want to stand hunt, still hunt, or stalk hunt. I like to stalk hunt. You need to learn about the rut and deer's feeding and migratory habits, all of which are much too detailed to discuss here. Basically you need to read rubs, scrapes and scat. You need to be able to find and track deer prints, and you need to find their water holes. After that, you need to practice with your bow A LOT. I practice probably about 30 arrows per week, but when I started I was shooting 40-60 arrows DAILY. Then you need to scout potential stand/still placements.....finally you can buy some camo and have some fun.....Oh and you need to learn how to use a grunter.
    "I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it." John Stuart Mill, 1866

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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by haiku d'etat
    that's Hank, and he's scoooooling me.

    http://21361.com/
    That pic's better in color when he's all red and terrifying.

    "I'll tear your mind out, I'll burn your soul" etc. Such a gentle and thoughtful fellow, Henry is.

  11. #11
    Call me a Fred
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    I just go out and call softly, "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty."
    Mike

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You may starch my jumper
    Hang it upside your wall
    You know by that, baby
    I need my ashes hauled.

    Sleepy John Estes

    H

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeBiker
    I just go out and call softly, "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty."
    Dressed in a bunnysuit that's a great way to approach a pride of lions.
    Originally posted by thatsmybush:
    I can only speak for my self, but if Fergie wanted to rub her lovely lady lumps on me, I could play the role of "human stripper pole."

  13. #13
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    I saw an article on hunting several years ago but can't remember much of what it said. I do recall one point: You have to get into the Hunters-blind. Whatever that is. I've actually spent many an hour pondering what Hunters-blind is. I think I finally figured it out by accident one dark night when the lady I was with snapped a picture.

    What you do is. . .
    1. Put on your camos and an orange hat.
    2. Get out in the woods somewhere early in the morning, before the sun comes up.
    3. Find a small or large clearing in the woods.
    4. Quietly work your way around to the West side of the clearing. If it's a large clearing this could take a while.
    5. Sit down in some tall grass, facing East, with your back against a large tree.
    6. Take a few shots of JD, chased by a couple beers.
    7. This step will set off the Hunters-blind experience. When the sun rises above the tree-line, quickly stare at it for 10 to 14 seconds, (You'll know it's been long enough when everything turns white and you sneeze a couple times).
    8. Shoot anything fuzzy-black that moves in the "Hunters-blind" white vision you are experiencing.

    I'm not sure but I think it goes back to some mystical stuff the natives used to do.
    deadlegs

    I've breathed the mountain air, man. (J. Cash)

    It's a long way to the top
    . . . if you wanna rock and roll (ac/dc)

  14. #14
    Scary Teddy Bear
    Reputation: physasst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by physasst
    Bowhunting is the ONLY way to hunt deer, IMO at least. Basics- You need to decide what your weapon of choice is. Then you need to decide whether or not you want to stand hunt, still hunt, or stalk hunt. I like to stalk hunt. You need to learn about the rut and deer's feeding and migratory habits, all of which are much too detailed to discuss here. Basically you need to read rubs, scrapes and scat. You need to be able to find and track deer prints, and you need to find their water holes. After that, you need to practice with your bow A LOT. I practice probably about 30 arrows per week, but when I started I was shooting 40-60 arrows DAILY. Then you need to scout potential stand/still placements.....finally you can buy some camo and have some fun.....Oh and you need to learn how to use a grunter.

    I actually use a gille suit.......Love it....can blend completely into the background. Had a friend come within 3 feet of me last fall, and he couldn't see me.
    "I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it." John Stuart Mill, 1866

    SIC VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM
    http://physasst.blogspot.com/

  15. #15
    Non non normal
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeBiker
    I just go out and call softly, "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty."

    Tastes like Chicken!!!!!
    "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --A. Einstein

  16. #16
    RoadBikeReview Member
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    J's, all you need to know is in the song

    Its The Second Week Of Deer Camp
    I Got A Swollen Head
    I'm Lying With The Dust Balls
    Underneath My Bed

    An Icy Breeze Is Blowing In
    Through The Tongue And Groove
    My Pants Are Frozen To The Floor
    And I'm Too Sick To Move

    I Didn't Drink Too Many
    Only Thirty Cans Of Beer
    It Must Have Been That Last Shot
    That Put Me Under Here

    Chorus:
    It's The Second Week Of Deer Camp
    And All The Guys Are Here
    We Drink Play Cards And Shoot The Bull
    But Never Shoot No Deer
    The Only Time We Leave The Camp
    Is When We Go For Beer
    The Second Week Of Deer Camp
    Is The Greatest Time Of Year

    I Remember Playing Poker
    That Weasel Musta Won
    He's Wearing My New Swampers
    And Sleeping With My Gun

    He's Snoring Like A Chain Saw
    The Camp Smells Like A Dump
    Someone's Dirty Underwear
    Is Hanging On The Pump

    Mukkus In The Wood Box
    Eeners Passed Out On The Stove
    His Flannel Shirt Is Smoking
    I Wonder If He Knows

    Chorus

    Vitos Crawling Through The Door
    I Think He Got Frostbite
    He Passed Out In The Outhouse
    And He's Been There Since Last Night

    Then Goofus Stumbles Through The Door
    He Says He Got A Buck
    He Was Coming From The Wayside
    And He Killed It With His Truck

    Then Muusti Cracks A Beer And Says
    Its Time To Celebrate
    Goofus Got The First Buck
    Since 1968

    Chorus

  17. #17
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    You ain't nobody until you've gone bow hunting with Ted Nugent. I would recommend the Hunt the Majestic Buffalo trip, because buffalo are pretty big, they like to hang out on the plains where they can't really hide, and they don't move very fast. The Nuge will show you how it's done.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mohair_chair
    You ain't nobody until you've gone bow hunting with Ted Nugent. I would recommend the Hunt the Majestic Buffalo trip, because buffalo are pretty big, they like to hang out on the plains where they can't really hide, and they don't move very fast. The Nuge will show you how it's done.
    I know you speak facetiously, but Terrible Ted is one of the bigger profile advocates of ethical hunting practices the sport has.

    Also, buffalo can run pretty fast.

    HTH

    Deek
    "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese"--unknown

  19. #19
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    Oh, man, the Nuge...

    yes, but he is a political asshat.

    that said, was watching his realty TV show last night at like 1am when I could not sleep, strange, strange guy.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeaconBlues
    I know you speak facetiously, but Terrible Ted is one of the bigger profile advocates of ethical hunting practices the sport has.

    Also, buffalo can run pretty fast.

    HTH

    Deek
    I mock only the "gonzo" elements of his over the top persona. Nothing more. Can't say I'm a huge Nuge fan, but I always thought "Stranglehold" was a great song.

    Buffalo can run pretty fast once they get up and moving, but they certainly don't move like antelope.

  21. #21

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    I wonder what you're like without the gun
    I'd like to see when you're not hiding behind the gun
    how you've lived your life without the gun
    'cause I know how I lived mine
    because you got one, yeah, 'cause that's what it is
    you hide behind your gun
    you take life, you're just another pig to me
    you think you're different but you're just another pig
    yeah, a pig, yeah
    you gotta have a gun then you're just another pig to me
    you think you're different but you're just another pig
    you gotta have a gun, you'rea pig to me, just a pig to me
    you gotta have a gun, you're just another pig to me
    you got a gun, you're just another pig
    a gun in your hand makes a fool out of you, oh yeah
    a gun in your hand makes a target out of me, oh no
    freedom, you ain't no freedom, you want your freedom,
    your freedom is killing you man, freedom
    you can't handle your freedom, hey
    and now you're dying for it
    Todd .....If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by physasst
    I actually use a gille suit.......Love it....can blend completely into the background. Had a friend come within 3 feet of me last fall, and he couldn't see me.
    Was he named Cheney by any chance?

    I gave up hunting years ago because too many hunters are like Cheney and the "hunters blind" post. Zero knowledge of gun safety and a high propensity for alcohol. If a twig snaps it's all guns blazing like they are shooting babies at Waco. Archers apparently aren't much better since a friend of mine had his compound bow killed by somebody who thought it was an antler. Luckily for him they were a very bad shot, or aiming for the antler for some strange reason.

    I think the only way I would go hunting now is go out and run them to exhaustion. After reading several scientific papers about how the ancient practice could explain our very unique high slow twitch muscle composition among primates I kind of want to put it to use again.

  23. #23

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    1. Gitcher pickemup truck filled with sumpin the critters like, y'know whut I mean, carrots or taters or sumpin.

    2. Grab a case of PBR.

    3. Dump them carrots n taters in a big ole pile in the back 40.

    5. Climb inta that ole chevy thats been sittin there since you was knee high to a grasshopper and drink that PBR and wait.

    6. When some critter comes in for a snack, pump that sunofabeech fulla lead.

  24. #24
    n00bsauce
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    Just watch OLN and the Outdoor Channel.
    "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." Voltaire

    There are your fog people & your sun people, he said. I said I wasn't sure which kind I was. He nodded. Fog'll do that to you, he said.

    "We are all ignorant about most things."
    Mel Erickson

  25. #25
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    J - When living in SW Utah, I connected with a lot of folks that had been hunting their whole lives. They were gracious enough to invite me along and teach me spotting tracking, persuing, and field dressing skills. I don't think I could have ever picked that up on my own. Having a mentor was critical.

    On my first hunt with the guys, I took a 400 yard shot on a six point muley in his bed. .300win Mag handload, from a bull barrelled Remington Sendero. I'd been shooting very well out to 600 yards at my local range, so I felt confident enough to pull off the shot. No one else in the group wanted to take it. And we couldn't get much closer as the buck had his eyes on us from above. The deer had bedded above a canyon with barley fields and fruit trees below, so he was well fed and in the glass looked to be about 200 pounds plus.

    I shot prone, putting a makeshift forearm support together from rocks. The shot was perfect. Right through the spine, dropped the deer without any stress. I took off running up the ledge to the bed and found the deer looking like it fell asleep. I was both elated and shocked.

    I said my tribute to the deer, something I did in private, cause I don't think the guys I was hunting with took a very spiritual approach to taking an animals's life. My friends arrived and coached me on the filed dressing. The buck was so large, I nearly had to climb inside the chest to gut strip it.

    I dragged the deer downhill to my truck and proudly loaded it up, and headed off to the local game butcher. I got about 85 pounds of meat IIRC, and froze most of it.

    Because the deer hadn't been stressed with fear and a dose of adrenaline, the meat was awesome. My first Burningman, I brought that venison out to share with the hip urban friends that had invitied me to join them. What a share that was. Most had never had venison, let alone venison shot and honored by someone they knew. I think I helped turned around some perspectives with that move, and I made sure that everyone treated the meat with the same reverence I had.

    Many months later, while tripping on mushrooms in the desert, I had a vision. It was the deer sharing his understanding of the life cycle, and sharing it's appreciation of how I paid such deep tribute to its spirit. Hallucination? Certainly. But it felt so deeply and powerfully spiritual to connect with the deer; I could totally understand why it was so important to indigenous cultures to build a soul to soul connection between the hunter and the hunted.

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