Lownje Shorts - NNC wisdom Lownje Style - Page 5
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  1. #101
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    58.) Like so many components, bike tires can be ridiculously expensive running upwards of $75 per tire. For that kind of money you could buy a decent car tire... and with the recent trend toward fat tire bikes.... Hey, wait a minute.

    Lownje Shorts - NNC wisdom Lownje Style-fb4t1xeir6irjf3-large_.jpg

    I'm guessing they'll get more than one season out of those.
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    58.) Like so many components, bike tires can be ridiculously expensive running upwards of $75 per tire. For that kind of money you could buy a decent car tire... and with the recent trend toward fat tire bikes.... Hey, wait a minute.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    course, for the cost of some high end carbon, you could slip a motor in there for the Full Monty.

    If a cyclist actually tried to make economic sense of their purchase...


  3. #103
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    Lownje Shorts - NNC wisdom Lownje Style

    59.) It's race day. You grab your kit only to realize your shorts have ripped. Sure, you could wear them but the risk of being arrested for indecent exposure (for a third time this week) is just too great. What do you do? Flexseal to the rescue!



    I recommend two coats. I would be more specific about why one coat is not enough, but my lawyer says I shouldn't. Elementary school parents are pretty litigious.
    Last edited by Opus51569; 5 Days Ago at 01:40 PM.
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    59.) It's race day. You grab your kit only to realize your shorts have ripped. Sure, you could wear them but the risk of being arrested for indecent exposure (three times in one week) is just too great. What do you do? Flexseal to the rescue!



    I recommend two coats. I would be more specific about why one coat is not enough, but my lawyer says I shouldn't. Elementary school parents are pretty litigious.
    When I put it on, I liked the flex part, but forgot about the seal part. How much longer till I can pee and poop, Doc, cuz I REALLY need to pee and poop!

  5. #105
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    Lownje Shorts - NNC wisdom Lownje Style

    Quote Originally Posted by Akirasho View Post
    When I put it on, I liked the flex part, but forgot about the seal part. How much longer till I can pee and poop, Doc, cuz I REALLY need to pee and poop!
    Youre going to need a mirror, a razor blade, and a very steady hand...

    Oh, and of course you need to shave all of the nether region before you spray. Otherwise, the seal will essentially turn your pubes into astroturf. Huh. I feel like I probably should have mentioned that up front.

    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    Last edited by Opus51569; 5 Days Ago at 02:40 PM.
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    58.) Like so many components, bike tires can be ridiculously expensive running upwards of $75 per tire. For that kind of money you could buy a decent car tire... and with the recent trend toward fat tire bikes.... Hey, wait a minute.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    I'm guessing they'll get more than one season out of those.
    Makes perfect economic sense. Also, maybe fewer flats than your normal $75 bike tire which is made out of vulcanized unicorn tears reinforced with actual angel hair (not the pasta).

    However, unlike the bike pictured, I'd build it as a fixie so I could really blast my guads.

  7. #107
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    60.) Though the counter will keep running, this is officially my 10,000th post. So, the pressure is really on. The culmination of years of experience and wisdom all comes down to this:

    When encountering a fellow cyclist passing through the Bjurnvik hinterland, custom dictates usage of the famous "Phlergen Salute", a traditional local wave incorporating the minimus, maximus and polex digits. Failure to properly execute the Phlergen can result in a fine from the local constabulary.

    Now, here's where it gets weird. If the magistrate has been having a particularly bad day, a little known codicil states you could also be sentenced to an act of contrition, forced to perform the native Zyzurnyuck dance in the town square. While that may not sound so bad, know that the codicil also states onlookers are permitted to cast aspersions about your parentage while you dance, and children are encouraged to throw objects of varying sizes, weights and consistencies at your naughty bits.

    So... long story short... make sure you Phlergen the phuck out of everyone you meet in Bjurnvik... or be prepared to dance the Zyzurnyuck.
    Last edited by Opus51569; 4 Days Ago at 08:50 AM.
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    60.) Though the counter will keep running, this is officially my 10,000th post. So, the pressure is really on. The culmination of years of experience and wisdom all comes down to this:

    When encountering a fellow cyclist passing through the Bjurnvik hinterland, custom dictates usage of the famous "Phlergen Salute", a traditional local wave incorporating the minimus, maximus and polex digits. Failure to properly execute the Phlergen can result in a fine from the local constabulary. Now, here's where it gets weird. If the magistrate has been having a particularly bad day, a little known codicil states you could also be sentenced to an act of contrition, forced to perform the native Zyzurnuck dance in the town square. While that may not sound so bad, keep in mind the codicil also states onlookers are permitted to cast aspersions about your parentage while you dance while children are encouraged to throw objects of varying sizes, weights and consistencies at your naughty bits.

    So... long story short... make sure your Phlergen the phuck out of everyone you meet in Bjurnvik!
    Newb........
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

    "that was like trying to teach a goldfish how to play basketball over the phone."

  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Touch0Gray View Post
    Newb........
    And a well-executed Phlergen Salute to you, good sir!
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    60.) Though the counter will keep running, this is officially my 10,000th post. So, the pressure is really on. The culmination of years of experience and wisdom all comes down to this:

    So... long story short... make sure you Phlergen the phuck out of everyone you meet in Bjurnvik!
    Brillant phrost. ^^^
    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together

  11. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    While that may not sound so bad, know that the codicil also states onlookers are permitted to cast aspersions about your parentage while you dance, while children are encouraged to throw objects of varying sizes, weights and consistencies at your naughty bits.
    you do realize I paid good money for this One Night In Bangkok...

  12. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akirasho View Post
    you do realize I paid good money for this One Night In Bangkok...
    Murray Head? Is that you? It's an honor, Mr. Head.

    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  13. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    Murray Head? Is that you? It's an honor, Mr. Head.
    I said GOOD money.

  14. #114
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    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together

  15. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eretz View Post
    That Murray usually ended with a Bangkok of a different kind...
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  16. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    That Murray usually ended with a Bangkok of a different kind...

    Much Better
    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together

  17. #117
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    Lownje Shorts - NNC wisdom Lownje Style

    61.) Phantom Riders* are real, people. Wake up and smell the protoplasm. Prepare yourselves. Protect your loved ones. This is the second time this has happened to me in recent weeks.

    On the trail, I pass a cyclist... he was JRA and I was in a bit more of a hurry. A few minutes later, on a long, straight flat section of trail I look in my mirror and see him behind me, slowly catching up. I keep a steady pace and he keeps gaining each time I look. Closer... closer... closer. I look one more time, wondering why I haven't heard an "on your left"... but this time THERE'S NO ONE THERE!!!. The dude is gone. Poof. Disappeared.

    That section of trail has no intersections where he might have turned off. If he doubled-back, the trail is so straight and flat there's no way I wouldn't have seen him riding away.

    Aliens??? Spontaneous combustion??? Dimensional portal??? You be the judge.

    *I actually prefer the term "Ghost Rider", but due to my ongoing blood feud with Nicholas Cage (its a looong story... he knows what he did) I am honor bound not to promote any film in which he has performed.
    Last edited by Opus51569; 2 Days Ago at 03:33 AM.
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

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