• 05-02-2020
    Opus51569
    1 Attachment(s)
    78.) But, Opus, I want to ride with my friend. How do I maintain "social distance"? Behold! The Social Distandem

    https://forums.roadbikereview.com/at...d=327693&stc=1

    https://www.bikeradar.com/news/social-distandem/

    From the makers of the: Bi-curious-cycle, the Helocipede and the You-Me Cycle...
  • 05-13-2020
    Opus51569
    1 Attachment(s)
    79.) Are you like me? Wait. Of course not. If you were like me you'd be writing this so you wouldn't even need to ask such a dumb question. But, I digress...

    Sick of using earbuds only to have them fall out of your ears at an inopportune moment? Well, worry no more. I have invented an ingenious device for holding your earbuds securely in place:

    https://forums.roadbikereview.com/at...d=327811&stc=1

    Since it goes over your head, I'm thinking of calling them...

    Headphones
    TM.

    Venture capitalists who would like to get in on the ground floor of this exciting new business opportunity can PM me.
  • 05-18-2020
    Opus51569
    1 Attachment(s)
    80.) It occurs to me as I gaze upon my vast stable of noble steeds that they each fulfill a niche similar to vehicles of the motorized variety:

    https://forums.roadbikereview.com/at...d=327847&stc=1
  • 05-18-2020
    MR_GRUMPY
    81....Never let the people you are riding with, see you take a drink.....When they ask about it, tell them that water is for sissies.
  • 05-18-2020
    Opus51569
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by MR_GRUMPY View Post
    81....Never let the people you are riding with, see you take a drink.....When they ask about it, tell them that water is for sissies.

    Water is weight... ride dry bastards!
  • 05-19-2020
    SPlKE
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by MR_GRUMPY View Post
    81....Never let the people you are riding with, see you take a drink.....When they ask about it, tell them that water is for sissies.

    81a. Never pee during or for at least an hour after a ride, no matter how long the ride is. If you do, you have had too much water. Ya big thirsty sissy.
  • 06-01-2020
    Opus51569
    82.) It's not all about bikes around here. For those who wonder if it can still be called cycling if you don't have to turn the pedals... imagine how golfers are going to feel about golfing if you don't have to swing a club...

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ID3SzQzQKlw" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>

    https://www.sportbible.com/golf/reac...yards-20200601

    Why not just put a golf ball in a potato gun and shoot it down the fairway???
  • 06-01-2020
    Opus51569
    83.) The life cycle...

    a. I sit in my chair and watch cycling on TV.
    b. I get bored with just watching cycling and buy a bike.
    c. It's kinda scary riding out there in the world, so I buy a trainer.
    d. Riding the trainer is boring, so I get some video apps to watch while I ride.
    e. This training stuff isn't fun, it's hard work, so I get a motorized bike to assist.
    f. I sit in my "chair" and watch cycling on "TV"...
  • 06-23-2020
    Opus51569
    84.) I'm at an age where I welcome innovation... not because I'm enamored with the next new thing, but because I know the perfectly serviceable "old" thing will now be at least 20% off...