Progress that isnt progress
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  1. #1
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    Progress that isnt progress

    So im in the head ripping tiny pieces of toilet paper off of this 14 inch diameter gigantic roll when i got to thinking. What the heck was wrong with a standard roll of toilet paper that works every time. This giant roll has so much resistence that you have to have the"touch" of Tom Brady to get paper off it without ripping every square or so! Then sometimes the whole face plate falls off..ever had that happen. Sometimes to find the end you have to snake your hand way up inside the darn thing. This is not progress.

    So what other man-made products have actually regressed in their effectiveness?

  2. #2
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    Don't forget that Tom Brady is laid up this year.

    It'll probably work fine once he is healed up.
    Quote Originally Posted by the_dude
    these are better than i was expecting, and my expectations were already rather high.

  3. #3
    Lemur-ing
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    I wonder if Peyton Manning could do it. He's got a touch too.
    Quote Originally Posted by tconrady
    If I can get some more tomorrow.... I thought it'd grow on me but I'm not feelin' it....wait..
    Allez United!

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  4. #4
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    I take exception to your assumption. I bet whoever pays the lady that replaces that roll, and buys the rolls, is quite happy with the progress.
    * not actually a Rock Star

  5. #5
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    Squirt some 3-in-1 oil up in there. That'll fix it.

  6. #6
    Seat's not level
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    They have rolls of sandpaper at our office. Really nice recycled stuff. You can use it to take the rust off of a trailer hitch.

    Anybody see the toilet paper with the bears and the paper sticks to their butts? Anybody have problem with toilet paper sticking to their butts? Never been an issue for me.
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  7. #7
    Climbs like a sprinter...
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    I usually just write my name on the wall.
    "It's turtles all the way down."

  8. #8
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    When I was in elementary school, the tp came out of things that looked like tiny folded paper towel dispensers. They were a far worse thing.

  9. #9
    ToF
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    yup
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    What's "toilet paper?"

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by bmxhacksaw
    I usually just write my name on the wall.
    In ink or pee? Or...


    Chocolate ink I meant. Not....
    Quote Originally Posted by tconrady
    If I can get some more tomorrow.... I thought it'd grow on me but I'm not feelin' it....wait..
    Allez United!

    Glory, Glory Man United, and the Reds go marching on!

  11. #11
    Climbs like a sprinter...
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    Quote Originally Posted by uzziefly
    In ink or pee? Or...


    Chocolate ink I meant. Not....
    Well, it entails bending over to accomplish it.
    "It's turtles all the way down."

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmig19
    So im in the head ripping tiny pieces of toilet paper off of this 14 inch diameter gigantic roll when i got to thinking. What the heck was wrong with a standard roll of toilet paper that works every time. This giant roll has so much resistence that you have to have the"touch" of Tom Brady to get paper off it without ripping every square or so! Then sometimes the whole face plate falls off..ever had that happen. Sometimes to find the end you have to snake your hand way up inside the darn thing. This is not progress.

    So what other man-made products have actually regressed in their effectiveness?
    The state of the supplies in the restrooms is a pretty accurate barometer of how your company is doing. I'm in the banking industry, and there has been a noted decline in both TP and hand towel quality. I wrote a very strongly-worded memo to the Director of Facilities on the subject yesterday. The TP was replaced by Fanny Mae preferred stock.
    It's Been Fun...See You Down The Road.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by tferris
    What's "toilet paper?"
    It is how toilets used to send information before the internet.
    Quote Originally Posted by the_dude
    these are better than i was expecting, and my expectations were already rather high.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gregory Taylor
    The state of the supplies in the restrooms is a pretty accurate barometer of how your company is doing. I'm in the banking industry, and there has been a noted decline in both TP and hand towel quality. I wrote a very strongly-worded memo to the Director of Facilities on the subject yesterday. The TP was replaced by Fanny Mae preferred stock.
    If it would help I have stacks of WaMU hand towels I could send over.
    Quote Originally Posted by the_dude
    these are better than i was expecting, and my expectations were already rather high.

  15. #15
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    My whole point is; If it saves time and money but doesnt work, then hows that progress. How about the motion sensor faucets? They sometimes see your hands, sometimes not (usually after you have soap on them). Incidentally I wasnt just looking for rest room related stuff.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmig19
    My whole point is; If it saves time and money but doesnt work, then hows that progress. How about the motion sensor faucets? They sometimes see your hands, sometimes not (usually after you have soap on them). Incidentally I wasnt just looking for rest room related stuff.
    How about those programmable thermostats that supposed to adjust your house temperature based on the time of day? We installed one, hoping to chop a few bucks off of our heating/ac bill by dialing down the HVAC system during the hours when were not home or at night when you are supposed to be snug under the covers.

    It doesn't work. It was a hassle to program. The little internal timer gets off track way too easily. We've gone back to regulating temperature manually, except that it is more of a hassle now because you have to diddle through the menus.
    It's Been Fun...See You Down The Road.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gregory Taylor
    except that it is more of a hassle now because you have to diddle through the menus.
    Hahahaha! You said diddle!
    "Indecision may or may not be my problem."

  18. #18
    It's not TOO Cold!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gregory Taylor
    How about those programmable thermostats that supposed to adjust your house temperature based on the time of day? We installed one, hoping to chop a few bucks off of our heating/ac bill by dialing down the HVAC system during the hours when were not home or at night when you are supposed to be snug under the covers.

    It doesn't work. It was a hassle to program. The little internal timer gets off track way too easily. We've gone back to regulating temperature manually, except that it is more of a hassle now because you have to diddle through the menus.
    My favorite are the 1's that control both the heat and A/C, without you manually switching between the 2. At work, when everybody leaves and the night temp is higher or lower than the day temp, the thermostat will turn the furnace on to warm up the building. NICE.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gregory Taylor
    How about those programmable thermostats that supposed to adjust your house temperature based on the time of day? We installed one, hoping to chop a few bucks off of our heating/ac bill by dialing down the HVAC system during the hours when were not home or at night when you are supposed to be snug under the covers.

    It doesn't work. It was a hassle to program. The little internal timer gets off track way too easily. We've gone back to regulating temperature manually, except that it is more of a hassle now because you have to diddle through the menus.
    Are you talking about the thermostats that error out on you every week or so and then require you to reprogram them but it always takes three times of reprogramming before the thing saves your settings?
    Originally posted by thatsmybush:
    I can only speak for my self, but if Fergie wanted to rub her lovely lady lumps on me, I could play the role of "human stripper pole."

  20. #20
    Stumpcake!
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    HOV lanes.

    In around Atlanta they didn't create new lanes for HOV, they just made all the old lanes smaller to make room so that they could add it.

    They suck.....unless I have a car full of people...mostly they suck.
    "Indecision may or may not be my problem."

  21. #21
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    Oh, those mini soft drink cans. Those aren't progress either.
    "Indecision may or may not be my problem."

  22. #22
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    My company has motion-sensor toilets that flush 4 or 5 times while you wipe.

  23. #23
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    I'm voting for those machines that pretend to be a hot air circulation oven/grill/micro wave all rolled into one but are crap at everything. Bonus points for models that come with a glass plate that you actually need in the oven function to get any acceptable result but breaks due to the heat, isn't covered by warranty (micro wave use only!) and costs 60 Euros to replace. F*ck you, Samsung.
    Originally posted by thatsmybush:
    I can only speak for my self, but if Fergie wanted to rub her lovely lady lumps on me, I could play the role of "human stripper pole."

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by tconrady
    Oh, those mini soft drink cans. Those aren't progress either.
    those are great for kids. they never seem to drink an entire regular sized can so you end up dumping half of it out.
    "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." -S. Hawking

  25. #25
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    Nnc

    Yakima's tire ratchet straps that you're "supposed" to be able to release with the press of a thumb. In actuallity you'll jam your knuckles before you can get your bike free becuase if there's any tension on the strap at all (like, if there's a bike on the rack) you can't depress the button hard enough to disengage.

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