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  1. #1
    Frog Whisperer
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    This

    I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am past seventy).

    A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'

    She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'

    'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

    Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'

    'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

    'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

    'No, I don't,' I said.

    She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

    'No,' I said ...

    She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a sh!t?
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

    "that was like trying to teach a goldfish how to play basketball over the phone."

  2. #2
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    _____


    addendum: one of my ongoing issues with family is that they are truly concerned about my deteriorating health, but they tend to want me to live according to medical doctrine as opposed to live.

  3. #3
    Sweet Potato Kugel
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    Welcome to 70.
    Last edited by Eretz; 02-24-2019 at 03:55 PM.
    In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    Ben Franklin -Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akirasho View Post
    _____


    addendum: one of my ongoing issues with family is that they are truly concerned about my deteriorating health, but they tend to want me to live according to medical doctrine as opposed to live.
    none of us are walking outa here........period!
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

    "that was like trying to teach a goldfish how to play basketball over the phone."

  5. #5
    What the what???
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    I beg to differ. At this point in my life I’ve eaten enough preservatives that I could conceivably live forever.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    I beg to differ. At this point in my life I’ve eaten enough preservatives that I could conceivably live forever.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    You sure about that, maybe we won't live forever, we just won't need to be embalmed!
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

    "that was like trying to teach a goldfish how to play basketball over the phone."

  7. #7
    What the what???
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    Quote Originally Posted by Touch0Gray View Post
    You sure about that, maybe we won't live forever, we just won't need to be embalmed!
    Your standard of “life” might be too high. Think of all the fun to be had as a corpse that never decays! Every day is “Weekend At Bernie’s”.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    The Law of Headwinds states: If the ride out is easy... wait.

  8. #8
    LWP
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opus51569 View Post
    Think of all the fun to be had as a corpse that never decays! Every day is “Weekend At Bernie’s”.
    Sometimes I really hate "you must spread some reputation around before..."
    Crusty old farts are people too.
    - 10ae1203

  9. #9
    Seat's not level
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    Quote Originally Posted by Touch0Gray View Post

    She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a sh!t?
    Then stuck her finger up my wazoo... you forgot that part..
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chain View Post
    Then stuck her finger up my wazoo... you forgot that part..
    The good thing is that her fingers are probably smaller/thinner than his fingers could have been.
    Too old to ride plastic

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    Quote Originally Posted by velodog View Post
    The good thing is that her fingers are probably smaller/thinner than his fingers could have been.
    NO!!!!!! Recently had the "exam" by a woman whereupon I remarked to her, "Well, that was aggressive and you ain't shy".

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akirasho View Post
    NO!!!!!! Recently had the "exam" by a woman whereupon I remarked to her, "Well, that was aggressive and you ain't shy".
    Was she wearing leather or rubber?
    Too old to ride plastic

  13. #13
    Schuylkill Trail Bum
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chain View Post
    Then stuck her finger up my wazoo... you forgot that part..
    Wazoo...

    That's a word I haven't used in a few decades.

    I think I'll replace "keister" in my next conversation about something where "I've had it up to my keister" with the word wazoo.


    Edit to add: Nevermind. I just tried it and it doesn't work right. I've had it up to my wazoo. Don't say that.

  14. #14
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    I've heard say that it's always smart to get a second opinion.

    Next time you see the doc, ask him/her to used two fingers.

  15. #15
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    Turned 70 last November, and changed health plans in January. I have a "get to know you" appt. with my new doc in a little over a week. I hope his analysis of life is different than TOG's.

  16. #16
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    This
    don't forget "that." that is just as important as this.
    Yossarian: don't worry. nothing's going to happen to you that won't happen to the rest of us.

  17. #17
    Schuylkill Trail Bum
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackfrancois View Post
    don't forget "that." that is just as important as this.
    Ditto: the other.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPlKE View Post
    Ditto: the other.
    You got here before me.
    Too old to ride plastic

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPlKE View Post
    Wazoo...

    That's a word I haven't used in a few decades.

    I think I'll replace "keister" in my next conversation about something where "I've had it up to my keister" with the word wazoo.


    Edit to add: Nevermind. I just tried it and it doesn't work right. I've had it up to my wazoo. Don't say that.
    I don't know, it has kind of a ring to it.

    My mother says dupa. I don't know about my spelling tho.
    Too old to ride plastic

  20. #20
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    You I have a confession, I stole that from a friend. The last doctor I saw warned my wife about me not being able to ride for 2 weeks.
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

    "that was like trying to teach a goldfish how to play basketball over the phone."

  21. #21
    Schuylkill Trail Bum
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    Quote Originally Posted by velodog View Post
    I don't know, it has kind of a ring to it.

    My mother says dupa. I don't know about my spelling tho.
    I've had it up to my keister with the word wazoo.

    That didn't take long.

    Dupa. I dunno. I'll sleep on it, so to speak.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by velodog View Post
    Was she wearing leather or rubber?
    I was told it would be better if I just looked forward...


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