Tips on how to deal with #1 when #2 comes around
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  1. #1
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    Tips on how to deal with #1 when #2 comes around

    Kid #1 will be ~4 years old when kid #2 comes out.

    Everybody keeps telling me it will be hard on Kid #1... any tips on how to ease the transition?

  2. #2
    Opus was just napping
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    When you bring the new one home, take them both out for a walk.
    They should meet on neutral ground.
    Let them sniff eachothers butts, it is what they do.
    In the time of battle you don't rise to the occasion you resort to the level of your conditioning...

  3. #3
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    Ha.

    For the record, Kid #0 (the dog) will not care about Kid #2 until she can move around by herself, and even after that not really until she can communicate with her. At least that's how it went with dog and Kid #1.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by thatsmybush View Post
    When you bring the new one home, take them both out for a walk.
    They should meet on neutral ground.
    Let them sniff eachothers butts, it is what they do.
    Make sure they are leashed or fenced, in case one bolts.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetdog9 View Post
    Kid #1 will be ~4 years old when kid #2 comes out.

    Everybody keeps telling me it will be hard on Kid #1... any tips on how to ease the transition?
    You are over thinking it. Kid #1 will be fine. We have 4 kids, all made it to adulthood un-traumatized by subsequent kid #'s. And trust me kid #1 won't be much interested in sniffing kid #2' s butt. Only mothers do that, for me, arms length smells bad enough sometimes,
    Of course I'm sure...that doesn't mean I'm right.....

    "There's no sense being stupid unless you show it."

  6. #6
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    IME, #2 doesnít always come around but when it does, #1 follows shortly after.

  7. #7
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    Take time to spend time individually with each. You'll appreciate it. They'll appreciate it.
    I believe the children are the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

  8. #8
    pmf
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    My kids are 27 months apart. Amazingly, I found that I blotted a lot of stuff about dealing with a baby out of my mind after the first one was born only to rediscover all that wonderful stuff all over again. The no sleep part topping the list.

    I remember when we brought him home. My older kid walked up to him and said 'kiss baby. Poke baby in the eye'. No sibling rivalry there.

    Honestly, its not even going to be on the radar once #2 arrives. A friend of mine told me that he didn't see much difference in having one kid or two. He lied. Its not multiplicative, its exponential.

  9. #9
    Never Give Up!
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    My kids are 14 months apart, did just about everything together... so it was no big deal. Now years gone by "teenagers" they seem to think the other is the favorite, not sure where they came up with that, but its there... I find it harder to manage as they get older, not when they are young... just saying
    "I refuse to be afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday & I love today!!"

    "There are only two ways to establish competitive advantage: do things better than others or do them differently."

    "Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there."

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  10. #10
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    Am I the only one who thought this thread was going to be about... you're taking a pee and you suddenly feel like you're about to poop a leaf?

  11. #11
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    Am I the only one for which pee comes out first before the poo when I have to poo, unless I really really really have to poo?

    With the kids, I'm not really concerned as much with down the line and them growing up together. It's more this first few/several months where Kid #1 may feel jealous/neglected/etc.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetdog9 View Post
    Am I the only one for which pee comes out first before the poo when I have to poo, unless I really really really have to poo?

    With the kids, I'm not really concerned as much with down the line and them growing up together. It's more this first few/several months where Kid #1 may feel jealous/neglected/etc.
    My sister was 3 years older than me.

    According to my mom, she cried when they brought me home after I was born. She told them that she wanted a puppy, not me.

    It went downhill from there, until we were in our 20s and became friends on a grownup level.

  13. #13
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    This thread is kinda sh!tty, but Iíll try to contribute even tho I only have one offspring that Iím aware of. My understanding is thereís a good possibility of jealousy and resentment. Give the older kid some responsibilities such as bringing diapers/wipes when the time comes, helping with feedings, etc.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetdog9 View Post
    Am I the only one for which pee comes out first before the poo when I have to poo, unless I really really really have to poo?
    You are not alone. They say people tend to see / hear what they are thinking about. I haven't finished all of my morning rituals yet so that may explain.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPlKE View Post
    Am I the only one who thought this thread was going to be about... you're taking a pee and you suddenly feel like you're about to poop a leaf?
    Yes I did.... but was too shy to say anything
    "I refuse to be afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday & I love today!!"

    "There are only two ways to establish competitive advantage: do things better than others or do them differently."

    "Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there."

    2010 Orbea Onix w/Ultegra R8000
    2009 SCOTT Speedster w/Ultegra 6800
    2007 IRONHORSE HT

  16. #16
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    My aunt almost threw her 4th brother out the window because she wanted a sister, not another brother.
    Too old to ride plastic

  17. #17
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    Good luck!

    We have a 3.5 year old and a 6 month old. I think the first child is always going to be overhwhelming in some/many ways...nothing prepares you for all the major changes in your life and nothing will ever be the same. There is just nothing as serious or as important as doing your best to raise a child. So, I think my views on our first are highly colored by him simply being #1.

    Our second child is referred to as the "World's Best Baby." Guy is so darn happy, smiles, makes some noises. Sleeps, eats, sleeps. Guy never cries, is sooooo easy. Goes for his 6 month check-up today actually.

    From talking to other parents...it seems like most folks have one out of two who is much easier. I think the second it always easier, but some folks had a happy non-crying baby first, then a harder one second.

    Oh, one thing we did...tried to make our first son really excited about his baby brother. Had him come to the hospital a day after the birth to meet him AND we had our newborn give Big Brother a gift (a cool dragon shooting fire!)

    Good luck! The hardest thing is trying to enjoy each day with them because they develop so fast...even when one is screaming and having a fit. Staying positive when one is having a meltdown is not easy, but we try!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPlKE View Post
    My sister was 3 years older than me.

    According to my mom, she cried when they brought me home after I was born. She told them that she wanted a puppy, not me.

    It went downhill from there, until we were in our 20s and became friends on a grownup level.
    My sister and I are 5 years apart (to the day, both born on the same day.. thanks mom.. for messing up all the milestone birthdays.. I turned 13 she turned 18, I turned 16 she turned 21.. I turned 18 and started dating her friends )

    Same deal.. we hated each other (granted I was a total ******* from the moment I could walk and talk) till we were adults and on separate continents... now we are fine.. and in our 40s.

  19. #19
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    Congrats.. and.. obviously you did not learn your lesson after #1 and went and got fixed.. good luck.. you will never sleep again.

  20. #20
    pmf
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    It would be nice to go back in time to a summer Saturday when my older son was 3 or 4 and we'd go to the farmer's Market together and spend most of the morning and early afternoon there and at the playground next to it. There was an old tool shed full of ancient tools that he loved to go in and look at stuff. I'd talk to the old guy who volunteered at the place. I remember the second year I came back he said 'he's really grown'. Looked the same to me. Now he's a snarky teenager who won't talk to me. But as much as I sometimes miss one of those afternoons, I don't miss that time, when a leisurely bowel movement seemed like a luxury.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmf View Post
    It would be nice to go back in time to a summer Saturday when my older son was 3 or 4 and we'd go to the farmer's Market together and spend most of the morning and early afternoon there and at the playground next to it. There was an old tool shed full of ancient tools that he loved to go in and look at stuff. I'd talk to the old guy who volunteered at the place. I remember the second year I came back he said 'he's really grown'. Looked the same to me. Now he's a snarky teenager who won't talk to me. But as much as I sometimes miss one of those afternoons, I don't miss that time, when a leisurely bowel movement seemed like a luxury.
    Agreed.
    For me kids were magical when they were below age 12 or so and everything was fresh like Christmas, birthdays, Halloweens, etc. Once they get to the grumpy teenage phase it was just a game of waiting it out, at least for our 4 kids.
    Best you can do now, I think is getting #1 excited about like others have said. Show him the ultrasounds, let him feel when #2 kicks, ask him to give suggestions for baby names, help setting up the crib/room, etc.
    We asked the nurse to write the sex of the baby on a piece of paper and stick it in an envelope we brought then went to a restaurant that evening and gave it to our #1 to read while we were eating. Not anything cool that those baby reveals that are all the rage right now but special to us.
    In reference to the Assault on Mt Mitchell...
    Quote Originally Posted by merckx56
    The easier solution is to find a biker bar in Spartanburg the night before, go in and pick a fight. The ass-whipping you'll get will be far less painful than the one Mitchell will give you the next day!

  22. #22
    Seat's not level
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    Olde Lounge advice... sell the ugly one :-)
    • This forum requires that you wait 2 days between posts. Please try again in 17 hours.

  23. #23
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    Kid #1 still gets all the new sh!t and #2 gets hand me downs. Kid #1 got 4 years of undivided attention #2 will never get. Statistically #2 will have a lower IQ and earn less than #1 while having less spent on education than #1 by it's parents.

    Personality wise birth order seems to have no effect (despite evident bitterness from the younger sibling that will possibly manifest itself on a cycling forum decades after birth)
    So #1 will be fine, enjoy the time with your young kids as much as possible as they grow up way damn fast. I was in too much of a hurry all the time.

    Today is our #2&3 14th birthday, Now having twins when #1 is 2yrs old, that is fun. First 18 months were crazily busy but also a good laugh at times.

    all the best.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by nayr497 View Post
    Good luck!

    We have a 3.5 year old and a 6 month old. I think the first child is always going to be overhwhelming in some/many ways...nothing prepares you for all the major changes in your life and nothing will ever be the same. There is just nothing as serious or as important as doing your best to raise a child. So, I think my views on our first are highly colored by him simply being #1.

    Our second child is referred to as the "World's Best Baby." Guy is so darn happy, smiles, makes some noises. Sleeps, eats, sleeps. Guy never cries, is sooooo easy. Goes for his 6 month check-up today actually.

    From talking to other parents...it seems like most folks have one out of two who is much easier. I think the second it always easier, but some folks had a happy non-crying baby first, then a harder one second.

    Oh, one thing we did...tried to make our first son really excited about his baby brother. Had him come to the hospital a day after the birth to meet him AND we had our newborn give Big Brother a gift (a cool dragon shooting fire!)

    Good luck! The hardest thing is trying to enjoy each day with them because they develop so fast...even when one is screaming and having a fit. Staying positive when one is having a meltdown is not easy, but we try!
    Nice post. All these posts in this thread are excellent. There are 33 months and 14 days between our daughters. They have a great mom. If I could do it over again, nothing would need changing. Marry a good woman.

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